[video]

[mttbrandlegs]

Greetings and salutations, beauties! It's been a while, hasn't it~?

[Mettaton looks...maybe a little uncomfortable and 100% human as he addresses the network, but look. He's going to fake it til he makes it because that's what superstars do!

Even superstars who look like they were in a mild accident, as he does, with his cheek sporting a patch bandage and his neck wrapped to hide some painful conversation starters.]

I know some of you are new, so you might not know who I am! My name is Mettaton, and I'm a super-fabulous celebrity! Don't feel intimidated by me though, I assure you I'm actually a really great person to get to know!

Also I am usually a robot WHICH BRINGS ME TO MY POINT!!

It looks like some of the crew is going through some changes, and it is not always comfortable to deal with that! I propose that we not only work together to help each other out in this time of awkwardness and unpreparedness, but that we also create a resource for...a particular subset of individuals.

What do I mean?! Easy!!

There's a few people on the ship who require blood as sustenance! How scary!!! But as we are all crew, I don't feel as if this compulsion is particularly comfortable for them, so here's the idea--anyone who is comfortable doing so should donate a small amount of their blood. Of course, I don't mean letting someone bite you--unless you're into that sort of thing, in which case, don't let me judge you!!

[Wink wonk. He swears, this is family friendly.]

I would very much like to work with anyone assigned to the Medbay so as to make this situation easier, more bearable! Surely it isn't a terrible idea~?

As a note, however, anyone who is prepubescent--say, a small child--will require screening and/or consent of their caretaker, should they have one!!!

[He's smiling, but there's a reason he said that, and his eye is on the MID. You know who you are.]

Right! So anyway, if you think this is a good idea, please don't hesitate to contact me! In addition, if you have any other needs pertaining to sudden changes in biology and you think you might need some help, please also contact me and I'll see if I have a fabulous idea for you!

Toodles, sweeties!! Thank you for listening~

Comments

audio;

[brokeassgoing]

So what are you gonna get outta this blood business? Cause it all sounds like a good little good samaritan case except for the liquid cola of human beings.

[mttbrandlegs]

I'm not getting anything out of it. Haven't you ever heard of a philanthropist? All I care about is that no one is hurting anyone else, especially not if they will regret it later!

If you really want to simplify it, I can show you my neck, and the regrets associated, but honestly that's none of your business, sweetheart~

[brokeassgoing]

I've heard of those and that usually speaks of some underhanded handies too.

Why dontcha have some sugar cookies and take the spotlight then Mr. Star.

[mttbrandlegs]

...What does that even mean? I'm not familiar with the turn of phrase you're using, darling.

[Also seriously dude, don't be such a buzzkill.]

At any rate, I'm not doing anything untoward. I just want to help others from being put in uncomfortable situations. Is that such a bad thing?

[brokeassgoing]

It is if you ain't getting anything out of it. I mean, you makin' a business of this and gettin' paid under the table?

[he spells it out]

[mttbrandlegs]

In simple words?

Not at all. I suppose I could if I wanted to, but I do not. I might not be a paragon of perfection, but that is hardly my angle!

I am very sorry that you feel so distrusting of me, but then, we have not ever spoken prior to this point, so you have every reason, dear! If there's any way I can assuage your doubts though, please let me know!

video

[crowkiller]

People need blood and they are biting necks to get it?

[Sounds kinky.]

Where do I sign up for that?

[mttbrandlegs]

[Oh good. At least it's not just Mettaton that's into that kind of thing.]

Well well, aren't you just bumping this up to PG-13~? I need to garner some interest before we have any actual sign ups, and see what I can arrange in the Medbay! But I'll keep you posted, shall I~?

For the record, the biting's not bad~ The blood loss can be a little bit of a turn-off though.

[But you didn't hear that from him!]

[crowkiller]

Blood loss isn't normally my thing, but I don't mind teeth.

[He can deal with the blood loss. Sounds exciting anyways.]

But you have tried it out? I haven't had done it with a corpse before. [Is that accurate??? Are they dead???]

[mttbrandlegs]

[Whoa nelly. Shouldn't they do this in private?

...Eh, whatever~]

I've had my neck bitten twice! The only part that was unfortunate was the dizziness and the passing out. I didn't expect that...but all the same! Eight out of ten, would do again!

Also, I'm not quite certain they're actually dead. Just partaking in alternate forms of nourishment!!

[For all he knows, anyway.]

voice;

[heelys]

I have to EAT BLOOD now?

[mttbrandlegs]

...Do you feel the need?

Not everyone has the same afflictions. I mean, I am human right now, instead of my beautiful metal self!! Not that I mind, but mileage may vary!

[heelys]

I don't know! How would I know if I had to eat blood? I'm human too!! I'm usually an Autobot! And we drink fuel! Which runs inside our bodies, so I guess that means I might have to refuel with blood--I don't know I've never been a human before!!

[this poor baby.]

[mttbrandlegs]

[Baby no.]

Humans generally do not "refuel" with blood, sweetheart. You just have to eat some food! Oh, and check your teeth--if they aren't pointy near the front, then you're fine!!

[He pauses, thinking.]

Have you eaten anything since you became human? Because if you haven't, you may want to.

[heelys]

[baby yes]

They're kinda pointy! Oh man, I don't want to eat blood! That's real gross! [hes poking his normal sized canines, but hey, he has no idea how pointy teeth are supposed to be.]

--no? I don't... I know really know what to eat. I never had to find food that wasn't energon before!

[mttbrandlegs]

Energon?

[What the hell is energon?]

Look, why don't you meet with me and we can have actual human-type food? I don't think you need blood at all, just regular old food!

[video]

[infailtration]

We've got vampires, huh? I'd be willing to donate if you can coordinate with the medbay. Needles are a 'fine,' that kind of biting is a 'not so much' for me.

[mttbrandlegs]

The biting's not awful, it's making sure you don't end up bedridden after. I have a friend who, ah. Has some control issues!

Anyway, I'll keep you informed, I hope that I can get this organized soon! All the better to make sure everyone is comfortable, right~?

[infailtration]

Yeah, all the better. My name's York, you can message me over the MIDs whenever. Ship security is part of my job so making sure folks aren't going around biting people probably falls under my duties anyway.

[mttbrandlegs]

Lovely to meet you, York dear!! I'll keep your position in mind, though please don't think too poorly of the individuals who are doing the biting!

I don't believe they are doing it because they want to.

audio

[wallride]

--Vampires, superstar? We got vampires now?

[LIKE HE CAN LIVE WITH THAT BUT?????]

[mttbrandlegs]

Surprise, we do! It's awful for everyone!!

[He says it like it's exciting?! It's not though, he's just trying to keep upbeat.

Mettaton you need some lessons. The last time you did this, it was all dirty lies and overcompensating.]

I'm just trying to work on making it a little less uncomfortable, if I can.

[wallride]

I can see that. I guess consequential is better than not...

Uh.

Dare I ask how you discovered this?

[mttbrandlegs]

Ahaha...well it seems you have done so already!

Ah, the first day I was human, I wasn't terribly attentive, and an acquaintance-turned-bloodsucker took quite the taste.

Twice, in fact. I don't remember very much after that, you see...because I ended up in the Medbay for a while.

I got better though!!

[Yikes.]

[wallride]

[THIS FACE, METTATON.]