thisavrou | Video; Episode 1: the one where swerve gets space bridged

[The camera is shakey as Swerve tries to get the hang of using it on his wrist, squinting at it through his visor as it clicks on before a small whirring beep sounds off as he realises it's online.]

Eyy! Brilliant! Got this thing working. [he's going to finger guns at the camera with his spare hand] So, hey there crew of the Moira, aka Swearth 2: Return of the emotional trauma! Quester, bartender, and all round awesome guy Swerve at your service. Gotta say, this ship is kinda smaller than the Lost Light--your hallways could use some expanding for us taller guys. I mean, not for me, but you know. Other guys. There are other guys here right? [he waves his hand dismissively, seeming to drift off for a few moments.]

Anyway, off topic, I know. But it's been a while since I've had a captive audience, let alone one with so many organics! I've seen dozens of you squishy buggers! You're everywhere! And that's so cool! I gotta get my holo up and running so I can be one with you.

So, two main things I wanna know:

One, where's the nearest alcoholic establishment, a guy could really use a stiff glass of high grade right about now, and two--or, actually, well this kinda is part of one, since I need to know if you people even know what high grade is or how to distill it and last time this happened I was sort of human so I didn't even need to fuel up with energon, I just ate a fragton of pizza and drank good ol' fashioned beer in a can which was a weird but awesome experience, I can tell you that. Wait, where was I going with this again?

Oh! Right! Energon. You lot know what it is, or am I gonna starve slowly and painfully? And without even getting overcharged. That would be an awful way to go, nobody should have to live out their last moments in life without getting completely wankered. Not that I intend on dying, but you know. You never know what's around the next quantum jump!

[he starts getting distracted, looking off screen at something, and mutters to himself:] Slag, Quantum Leap--do I even still have that data slug on me? Gotta finish that episode before I forge--

[the recording abruptly shuts off as he slips his fingers over the device.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

I honestly doubt that the alien invaders that attacked us few months ago cared much about that. But sounds like you got some pretty intense customers there.

Awwwkward. [He grins a little apologetically.]

Yeah, when you're serving ex-wreckers and ex-soldiers, things can get pretty rowdy when everybody gets wankered.

[WELL. It's not like he could have known about the invasion or glass so she'll let it go.]

Ha. We have good collection of murderers, lunatics, soldiers or whatever and I don't remember bar wrecking ever happening around here.

Anyway, with all these news what are you going to do, Mr. Bartender? Going to open business now?

That sounds like Swerve's on a Thursday night! [he laughs.] Except with the wrecking. Lots of that. I spend more time cleaning up after overcharged idiots than I do serving them. You'd think they'd work out if they wreck it, I'm gonna put the prices up, huh?

[He offers a slight smile.] Well, if there isn't anywhere for the Cybertronian's to refuel, it's kinda my duty to do it. I have access to stuff in the science department, so I can totally rig up something for distilling energon--assuming we have it. It'll give me a good distraction.

[Science department? Well damn, guess where they've been cooking]

Your passion for this field of work is truly admirable.

Say, I don't know much about you robots and your culinary culture but what do you plan on serving? Gasoline?

Gasoline? You mean like, human fossil fuels? Pft, nah. That's organic based fuel--totally incompatible with our systems. We live off something called energon. It's kinda bright, fluorescent pink and comes in cubes generally. At it's base you can just drink it for refueling only, but where's the fun in that? If you distill it--refine it and make it more pure--it hits our systems like something else. You get all buzzed and overcharged the purer it is. And hey, that's way more fun than just refuelling when you need it.

So, it's not really alcohol per se? Honestly, doesn't sound something we humans would find enjoyable. But anyway, do you have a plan of action big guy? It can be tough to find a room that could fit you in.

I guess not in the sense of like, beers and vodka and stuff. But it's basically the same to our systems. I'm kinda surprised you haven't had a rampage at the lack of high grade. Whirl's here. He's kinda nuts.

[He pauses, frowning.]

So far, nah. But I'm open to ideas, little lady.

To be fair, there's been some commotion and drama around with our robot population. I believe someone even a blew a hole to a wall at some point. [Granted, she hasn't been following their doings too keenly but it feels like there's always something going on with them.]

Patience might be the key here, sweetie. I wouldn't advice on hogging the science department. The current dictator of that field isn't too fond of you.

[Sorry Tony.]

Video; Episode 1: the one where swerve gets space bridged

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