thisavrou | [VIDEO] 001

[So, with much effort, the MID starts broadcasting a close up of...well, it's a very green eye.]

Is...Is this thing on? Does the light mean it's on? Please let the light mean that it's on...

[The figure pulls back to reveal...a face! Just a normal face, covered in...soot? Burns? One of his bangs might be on fire.]

Okay, so...first off, I guess I should introduce myself. My name's Darin Altway, Master Blacksmith. I'm new here and I guess my new job is mechanical engineer on the Ingress?

[Darin is pointedly keeping the camera close to his face. He looks nervous.]

So uh...full disclosure? I don't know what an Ingress is. Or half of what these things are.

Most of what these things are.

...Almost all of these things.

And I lost my blacksmith hammer, so I've kind of been making due with the tools on hand and hahaha...so, funny story, you can't just hit things with hammers to make them work? Crazy, right? So...if anyone who knows anything about...uh...any of these gadgets and gizmos could come on down to engineering and give me a crash course in...um... everything, I would really appreciate--

[He's cut off by what sounds like something backfiring and creating a much larger fire.]

GAH!! OW!! HOT!! HOT HOT HO--

[The video ends there.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Dude!

We're on a space ship! Little scrap like that can literally murder us.

Cant you things breathe in space??

You things?

Wow. Dude. That's uncalled for!

I don't know what you are though.

You're just giant metal space golems to me.

Did you ever ask, dude?

...I was kind of busy dealing with a fire? That you were yelling at me for?

So, what are you, anyway? You got a name?

Yeah, and then I saved you. You're welcome.

I'm Sideswipe. We're Autobots.

You didn't do anything but complain at me!

I told you to find the foam shooter!

You don't even know what it's actually called!

[Not that he knows either but DETAILS]

Do you, smart guy?

No, but I can admit it.

Good for you?

You're kind of obnoxious. Anyone ever tell you that, Sideswipe?

Says the human setting consoles on fire.

Says the space golem with a stupid helm!

Says the human with the stupid entire head!

Says the space golem with the stupid everything!

Says the stupid human with the even stupider list of insults!

Says the stupid space golem with a stupid voice, a stupid face and an even stupider paint job!

You're literally the walking definition of stupid!