Video...ish-thing;

[lostsymmetry]

[The MID post comes in as "video", but there's nothing moving on the screen. Just a static blue shape that calls to mind mangled geometry-- or an extremely corrupted logo of some kind. It comes with some cheerful male answering-machine speech...]

<Welcome to Domesticon warranty and recycling depot #127. This is the automated system ad-->

[...which cuts off mid-sentence. The words that continue are in recognizably the same voice, but have a much broader range of inflection and no hint of the mechanical echo from before.]

Sorry about that. Still, ah, working out a few bugs. But hey, it's nice to see this place up and running again! Within, you know, standard deviations.

As we're proceeding with our latest pit stop, I thought I'd advertise my local functions-- to our new department heads or anyone else who can make use of them. I've been installed as the ship's Workshift Coordinator and given access to adjust crew scheduling at need. Since I'm sure the changes made by our new management caught a few people by surprise [*cough*, the half of the crew now on cleaning duty]... well, feel free to call if you need anything. Or just chat up your nearest terminal.

...

While I'm on the line--any thoughts about a name? [There's an odd note to the mainframe's voice. Hopeful? Hesitant? Embarrassed that the pod crab got there first? He should be. Dork.] Current options include Hank, Blue... maybe Morely.

Open to suggestions.


[[ooc: For those who missed the memo, he's talking about the job changes made here and here. The mainframe's isn't in charge of the actual assignments (though people are welcome to complain!), but he can alter your character's shift times and other handwavy goodness.]]

Comments

[lostsymmetry]

[Pre-recorded? Really? He'd reacted to immediate input, changed up his prompts in the hope of getting the human to engage. Played the part of an optimally functioning, helpful AI as desperately as he could.

Maybe he shouldn't have. This is certainly an abrupt turnaround, and he's known for decades that the less you sound like an AI, the more sympathy humans show. But somehow the mainframe isn't regretting not advertising further corruption to the hacker who'd been in the middle of prying his code open.]

Fine.

[No point pretending anything at this point. No point holding a grudge. He's working just fine, see?]

<How may I assist you?>

[whoami]

[ Ow. Okay, Sam probably deserved some admonishment, but how was he to know? It had seemed like some weird tech and Sam was deciding if it might be helpful to the Moira if the mail recipient didn't want it.

Finding out it's an AI...Sam can't help thinking what he had done must have been a form of torture.

He felt a bit sick. ]

Er...right. Then I guess the only thing I have left to say is; I'm sorry. I honestly didn't know you were in there or I'd never done that stuff.

[ Yeah. Sam feels about 2 inches tall right now. ]

[lostsymmetry]

[Who had he thought was talking to him?]

...

[No. It's not a question worth dwelling on, especially when the mainframe's pretty sure he knows the answer. The human is always right, after all. Even when they're a hypocrite. And apologies are much too rare to waste.

So what if they're made for the wrong reasons?]

It's fine. Really.

[The voice stays neutral, but human-sounding.]

I'm a corporate AI. That was hardly the first time.