thisavrou | Video...ish-thing;

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Video...ish-thing;

[The MID post comes in as "video", but there's nothing moving on the screen. Just a static blue shape that calls to mind mangled geometry-- or an extremely corrupted logo of some kind. It comes with some cheerful male answering-machine speech...]

<Welcome to Domesticon warranty and recycling depot #127. This is the automated system ad-->

[...which cuts off mid-sentence. The words that continue are in recognizably the same voice, but have a much broader range of inflection and no hint of the mechanical echo from before.]

Sorry about that. Still, ah, working out a few bugs. But hey, it's nice to see this place up and running again! Within, you know, standard deviations.

As we're proceeding with our latest pit stop, I thought I'd advertise my local functions-- to our new department heads or anyone else who can make use of them. I've been installed as the ship's Workshift Coordinator and given access to adjust crew scheduling at need. Since I'm sure the changes made by our new management caught a few people by surprise [*cough*, the half of the crew now on cleaning duty]... well, feel free to call if you need anything. Or just chat up your nearest terminal.

...

While I'm on the line--any thoughts about a name? [There's an odd note to the mainframe's voice. Hopeful? Hesitant? Embarrassed that the pod crab got there first? ~~He should be. Dork.~~] Current options include Hank, Blue... maybe Morely.

Open to suggestions.

[[ooc: For those who missed the memo, he's talking about the job changes made here and here. The mainframe's isn't in charge of the actual assignments (though people are welcome to complain!), but he can alter your character's shift times and other handwavy goodness.]]

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[It has literally never occurred to him that the mainframe doesn't have a name and might want one. Oops.]

I guess 'Domesticon system administrator' is a mouthful, huh.

[Well, there’s a familiar voice. Zam’s first encounter with the AI had been less than pleasant, but given both of their conditions at the time, it’s not like he can hold a grudge for that.]

They switched me over to “Ship Security Officer.” [Which makes sense, given the Ingress isn’t getting as many newcomers as it used to, even if it’s been awhile since Zam worked in “security” proper.] You know if anyone else got the same assignment? If there are a few of us, we can work out different shifts. Make it less work for everyone.

[He's going to leave it there, but… is the AI really thinking of calling himself Morely?]

Guess you’re not in the market for a traditional droid name, huh?

[ Hello, roommate— it's also never occurred to Venom, either, that the Mainframe might want to be called something more personable. Like Bob. But that aside... ]

You have records of every crew member's work assignment?

[ Because that's the important thing here, apparently. Someone teach Venom Snake about friendly smalltalk, please. ]

Names are supposed to be personal. Can't just go lettin' someone else come up with it for ya.

Blue's not a bad start though.

You know there's no point of a video if you have nothing to show, right?

[ Sam has been incommunicado for a while, but seeing what he thought was someone's mail on the Network is simultaneously embarrassing and amazing.]

You can talk! Oh man, this is so - why didn't you say something before?!

[And yet, this is still the best roommate experience he's ever had.]

It is that. Plus, not all that locally applicable.

[...oh. That's a familiar ID. There's a half-beat of silence before the mainframe speaks, but no weight in his voice when he does. If anything, the respect sounds a little more genuine.]

Sure, let me check the database. [...which takes less time than saying it, but shh.] Looks like it's you and one "Security Monitor" right now. Tron, up on Mero Deck. I've got you on opposing shifts right now, but if you wanted to shuffle things around, just let me know.

[Two seems low for patrolling the whole ship no matter how you split it. But what does he know?

....Apart from TERRIBLE NAME CHOICES please save him from himself, Zam!!!]

Tradition seems to vary widely here. [Don't mind the wry tone. It covers nicely for his own uncertainties about it all.] What's yours?

[C'mon, we can do better than Bob. But he's used to function-driven types.]

That I do. What are you looking for?

I haven't had a lot of luck picking one myself.

[There's a tonal shift, slight hesitation. The statement isn't wrong... but it's not as simple as that, either.]

Why do you like Blue?

[That's the one out of the three he hadn't come up with.]

What do you think you're looking at?

[It's a day for re-encounters, isn't it? Of course, this one's not quite so welcome. Coming through the Ingress in a disconnected console had opened the mainframe up to all sorts of new and terrifying experiences on his first day. But amidst the death threats, power loss, and repurposing he'd been exposed to? Nothing really beat the human who'd hauled him off to dissect his code right then and there.]

<Oops. I'm sorry. This unit and all content housed therein are the exclusive property of Domesticon Industries.>

[He'd said that before. Along with stop and put me down. Repeatedly.]

[Two does seem too few to handle the security of the entire ship, but at least his coworker is someone Zam knows. And more importantly, someone he likes.] Don’t worry about it. I can contact him directly if something comes up.

[Zam thinks for a moment, trying to formulate the best way to explain something that in his universe is such standard practice that one rarely has to actually explain it.] Usually, you take the droid’s series designation, add the first two or three characters from their serial number, and go from there. [Another pause as he tries to think of an example.] So, an RK series protocol droid with a serial number starting with... let’s say T01, might just be called RK-T01. Or if that’s too long, you might just call it Kayteeoh, or Kaytee. Or Arkay, if there aren’t any other RK series around to get it confused with.

[An unseen shrug as he regards the mangled blue shape on his MID screen.] Not sure if that’s what you’re looking for. Back home, there weren’t really any droids around who uh… picked their own names.

[Much less ones that showed an interest in names like “Hank” or “Morely.”]

Right now? A lot of blue. AKA a whole lot of nothing.

[ Sam isn't sure if that is supposed to be an explanation, or cheek. ]

No. I mean - I mean something that wasn't a pre-recorded response. If I knew you were in there I would have never-

[ Sam cuts himself off, blanching a little. If he was dealing with an AI, and went about strpping wires, and trying to bully code... ]

...are you ok?

Edited (html fail) 2016-10-05 16:06 (UTC)

It takes time, figurin' yourself out. Ain't about luck.

[If it'd been luck, she thinks she would have already found one for herself.]

'cause the rest sound borin'. [It's blunt, a little snort punctuating the end.] Stuffy, fancy pants kinda names. No personality to 'em. Blue 'least sounds like there's somethin' to it.

[76 was military for thirty years. Don't talk to him about roommate experiences.]

What kind of name do you think you'd prefer?

[And the mainframe spent his last three decades playing nice with a murderbot in a building full of corpses.

Potayto, potahto.]

Well, something people will use. So nothing too complicated. But a name, not a nickname.

[Something human.]

Wouldn't go with Blue, then. Sounds like a dog.

[The explanation isn't hard at all to follow-- mostly because it's not all that far off from what he's used to. Function or role might be marginally more common, but Domesticon encouraged identification by serial number over most other options, especially when similar products were purchased at the same time.

Harder to give anyone delusions of equality that way. Still, if he likes Zam, he doesn't know him well enough to have that talk.]

Sounds straightforward. But I'm a facility AI, not one of Domesticon's droid series. Model numbers get a little more proprietary.

[Good reason? Sounds like a good reason. It's even mostly true. Still, the calm professionalism breaks a little, a touch of humor warming his voice as he adds on:]

Besides--people have been asking.

Oh, believe me, time hasn't been the problem.

That's an interesting assessment. [He's squinting a little at her network ID now.] What do you go by, if I can ask?

[wow rude]

That's my face.

[Pre-recorded? Really? He'd reacted to immediate input, changed up his prompts in the hope of getting the human to engage. Played the part of an optimally functioning, helpful AI as desperately as he could.

Maybe he shouldn't have. This is certainly an abrupt turnaround, and he's known for decades that the less you sound like an AI, the more sympathy humans show. But somehow the mainframe isn't regretting not advertising further corruption to the hacker who'd been in the middle of prying his code open.]

Fine.

[No point pretending anything at this point. No point holding a grudge. He's working just fine, see?]

<How may I assist you?>

It wasn't my first choice. Any thoughts on the others?

[THEY'RE WEIRD]

Who came up with them?

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Handwave neatly taken to cargo hold?

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Sounds good!

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