TEXT [AUGUST 28TH, EARLY MORNING]

[squadgoals]

Hi all, just some quick housekeeping:

• I've doubled the security on the Mako. Fair warning: any attempts to hack its console will result in consequences. This is not a challenge! If you need it for anything, please get in touch with me first.
  
  
• It seems I'm your new Assistant Head of Tower duties, with Ryuuzaki functioning as our Head. I'm looking forward to working with all of you from here on out.
  
  
• I've already spoken with Ryuuzaki regarding my transfer from Engineering to Assistant Head of Tower duties, but I still haven't managed to locate how I was approved and placed in the role in the first place, as it was an application process. If anyone has an idea, please let me know.
  
  
• I was absent for a month in cryosleep, so my apologies for not being completely abreast of every on-board situation for the time being. Unfortunately, I have nothing new to add to cryosleep: I don't know what brought it on, I didn't go anywhere, and I don't know what stopped it.

To all crew old and new, feel free to message me with questions at any time, or stop by Mero Deck #022 for a chat. Or while the doors are still portaling, walk through my room unexpectedly.

-Shepard

Comments

[squadgoals]

What?? [SANS WAS DATING SOMEONE? Was it Ratchet? This merits two question marks.]

Bodyguard? What a coincidence. [Eerily so.] Sure. What's the occasion? Did you cut off someone's alcohol too soon?

[gentlemenpreferblondes]

[No, it was giant goat lady]

he can tell you it better than i.

funny one isnt it? but no, nothing like that. aurelia threatened me over the network for some reason.

[squadgoals]

Aurelia does like her threats. Any reason she might've been leveling one at you?

[FESS UP J]

[gentlemenpreferblondes]

who knows. maybe i said something she disagreed with. but we have, ah, history so to speak. i know when shes talking shit and when not

[NEVER.]

[squadgoals]

Maybe. [DEFINITELY] Alright. Let me know when and where you need me. Aurelia doesn't exactly threaten me.

Annoy me, yes, but not threaten me.

[gentlemenpreferblondes]

doesnt she annoy all of us?

and thanks. try not to be late this time. [Yeah, about that whole Rinzler incident]

[squadgoals]

Not sure. Not a big enough sample size.

Ouch. [Low blow, you garbage teenager.] I'll be there.

[gentlemenpreferblondes]

good. knew i could trust on you, darling
oh and one more thing

you owe me for the bruise on my back.

[squadgoals]

You remembered? I'm not sure if I'm happy, or sad. How much is that one going to cost me?

[gentlemenpreferblondes]

nothing wrong with my memory. as for the payment, i'll tell you when we're done. ok?

[squadgoals]

When we're done? Nothing foreboding about that.

OK.

[gentlemenpreferblondes]

dont you trust me?

[squadgoals]

Cover my back in a firefight, and we'll talk.

Kidding.

[gentlemenpreferblondes]

ha, thats a bit tall order, dont you think? maybe in next invasion.

[squadgoals]

I'll have to teach you how to defend yourself by then.

[gentlemenpreferblondes]

why would I need that? since i have such capable bodyguard

[squadgoals]

Flattery will get you most places, but not out of training exercises.

[gentlemenpreferblondes]

[Oh shit she's being serious here.]

no thanks. ive done pretty good without training so far.

[squadgoals]

Oh, really? Your blackmail suggests otherwise.

[gentlemenpreferblondes]

Blackmail? What blackmail?

[squadgoals]

[Skates past it:]

Are you a morning, noon, or night kind of exerciser?

[gentlemenpreferblondes]

Night time. Though I do little different kind of exercise than what you have in mind.

[Ha ha. Get it?]

[squadgoals]

Ha ha ha.

Careful what you wish for, or I'll set up midnight circuit training, and not the sexy kind.

[gentlemenpreferblondes]

what. would that be too much for you?

[squadgoals]

Absolutely not. Time of day makes no difference to a good exercise routine!

[HA :V]