TEXT [AUGUST 28TH, EARLY MORNING]

[squadgoals]

Hi all, just some quick housekeeping:

• I've doubled the security on the Mako. Fair warning: any attempts to hack its console will result in consequences. This is not a challenge! If you need it for anything, please get in touch with me first.
  
  
• It seems I'm your new Assistant Head of Tower duties, with Ryuuzaki functioning as our Head. I'm looking forward to working with all of you from here on out.
  
  
• I've already spoken with Ryuuzaki regarding my transfer from Engineering to Assistant Head of Tower duties, but I still haven't managed to locate how I was approved and placed in the role in the first place, as it was an application process. If anyone has an idea, please let me know.
  
  
• I was absent for a month in cryosleep, so my apologies for not being completely abreast of every on-board situation for the time being. Unfortunately, I have nothing new to add to cryosleep: I don't know what brought it on, I didn't go anywhere, and I don't know what stopped it.

To all crew old and new, feel free to message me with questions at any time, or stop by Mero Deck #022 for a chat. Or while the doors are still portaling, walk through my room unexpectedly.

-Shepard

Comments

[notglitching]

[Posture posture, smug, smug. Though Rinzler does still suspiciously at that query.]

Fully functional.

[He's had his arm back for weeks, okay.]

[squadgoals]

Seeing is believing. Do a spin. I want to make sure they've been feeding you enough.

[notglitching]

Eating: user function.

[And an utterly terrible one. Who came up with digestion?]

[squadgoals]

It's a joke! I just want to make sure you're all together.

But you are missing out in the eating department.

[notglitching]

Fully intact.

Your assessment: false.

[squadgoals]

How can you say that when you've never eaten a cheeseburger?

[notglitching]

Define: cheeseburger.

[squadgoals]

All-beef patty, melted cheese, warm hamburger bun. Additional condiments optional, but recommended.

I like lettuce, tomato, ketchup, and mustard. Little sauteed onions or bacon, if I'm feeling fancy.

You can't tell me that doesn't sound good.

[notglitching]

[.....]

Wrong.

[squadgoals]

So right.

Okay, question: eating is a user function, sure, you don't need to do it — but can you?

[notglitching]

[Nope nope nope. Have a derisive noise-skip. Followed by a shrug.]

Untested in current frame.

[squadgoals]

What a lucky coincidence! I'm a willing and able beta-tester.

[notglitching]

Unnecessary.

[squadgoals]

I make a good hamburger, Rinzler.

[notglitching]

Skill level irrelevant.

User energy includes unacceptable side effects.

[squadgoals]

For example?

[notglitching]

Digestion.

[squadgoals]

As in, you can't.

[notglitching]

Could. Did.

Don't want to.

[Never again.]

[squadgoals]

Painful? Awesome? Details, Rinzler.

[notglitching]

Details: irrelevant.

User energy processing: glitched.

[squadgoals]

On the contrary, us users think it works pretty well.

I think you're just embarrassed. I bet you puked.