thisavrou | [TEXT]

[TEXT]

My fellow Cybertronians, citizens of the Moira. Some of you already know me, for those of you who do not, my name is Starscream. I am the current elected ruler of the planet Cybertron, but today I come before you with a confession. You see, my time here has given me a chance to reflect on my position, and myself as a whole. I've had the opportunity to scrutinize the choices I've made in the past, how my experiences, my failures, may affect my ability to lead a planet into an era of true peace and prosperity. To keep things short and simple, I have come to the conclusion that I am, at this current time, unfit to rule.

Given the circumstances, I'm unable to officially resign, simply because we lack the proper paperwork, but I ask my fellow Cybertronians to rest assured. By the time we're able to return to our home, I will have become every bit the leader our people deserve. I promise you this.

My apologies for the interruption, and thank you all for your time.

[PRIVATE: text to other Starscream heyoo]

I may have taken a few creative liberties, but there. It's finished. Now get off my back about it.

[tl;dr Starscream lost a bet. And by lost a bet I mean he accidentally maybe killed Ratchet a bit a few weeks ago and the other Starscream is blackmailing the shit out of him in exchange for keeping quiet but hey you know how it goes.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

I think you're focusing on the wrong part.

Yeah? You mean the part about how this gets posted just barely after I'm back from you accidentally murdering me? Come on, who figured it out?

Look it doesn't count as murder if it was a complete accident okay

And no, they aren't related.

Uh-huh. You know what? Fine. Act like I wouldn't back you if it came out what happened and people were pissed off. I know it was a complete accident, and I'd tell people so, and that would be the end of it. It doesn't matter either way.

What makes you think they wouldn't come after me anyway? They hate me, every last one of them. I know they're just waiting for an excuse to get rid of me, and what better excuse than this?

[Someone's a little paranoid. A little extremely unhealthily paranoid. Just a bit.]

[Ratchet switches the feed on, his face still and his optics cold.]

You killed me. Accident or not, I was trying to help you, and your actions caused my death. I felt the broken glass cut its way into my spark. I felt my spark guttering out. Several people--my friends--were hurt while I was out of commission and I couldn't do anything about it. More people could have died because I wasn't there to help them. If anyone has the right to hate you about this, Starscream, it's me.

[His voice is sharp-edged and intent as he leans into the feed... then sits up after a second, looking pensive now.]

But I don't. And you apologized, and I told you that I forgive you, and that's the end of it. If anybody else has a problem with that, they can take it up with me, so spill it. [He jerks his chin.] Who figured it out?

[Fun fact: Ratchet's probably the only person in the history of like ever to make Starscream feel actually bad about a thing. Anything. It's really strange and Starscream kind of hates it. It takes him a few minutes to reply, since he's trying to decide if he even should or not, but considering he has nothing else to lose at this point he's like "fuck it" and starts his video feed.]

That creepy clone of mine. He walked in on us. Well, he walked in on me, you were kind of dead. As you can guess, it didn't go well. He said he'd keep quiet about it if I made this announcement.

[Now Ratchet just looks annoyed.]

Is there a reason you didn't just tell me first before you went and did something insane like this? I would have told you it wasn't necessary.

[Starscream just rubs at his face because all of this is the stupidest thing ever okay he has no idea what he's doing]

I'm a little out of my league here, okay?

There are just all sorts of concessions falling out of you today, goodness.

[Ratchet rubs his face, looking longsuffering but still clinging to patience.]

Well, you can go ahead and tell whoever you want you didn't mean it, I guess. Unless you've collected some good sense after my untimely death and decided you genuinely no longer want to hold public office, like an intelligent mech. But to ahead, let him tell whoever he wants, it won't matter.

Why are you doing this? This helping me thing. What's in it for you?

[Seriously right like who helps Starscream on purpose and doesn't expect anything in return, surely there must be a catch right?]

Honestly? The completely hilarious look on your face while you try to figure out what my ulterior motive could possibly be is pretty rewarding all on its own.

[Starscream just HUFFS and tosses his hands up UGH]

I'm just not used to this, okay!?

Really? You're such a natural, I would never have guessed.

That's not what I'm talking about.

What are you talking about, then?

In my experience, everyone has an ulterior motive. You're in a great position to make my life Hell, and everyone else I know wouldn't hesitate to take full advantage of it.

But you're not. I'm not used to it.

Yeah, that was pretty much what I was talking about.

[Ratchet plants an elbow on his desk and rests his chin in one hand, watching Starscream with the mild clinical curiosity of someone observing an insect stuck with a pin to a piece of corkboard.]

Maybe I just want you to owe me a favor. Would that make you feel better?

[Starscream just shrugs. It's a really over the top, dramatic shrug.]

I don't know. Maybe? I kind of feel like I owe you anyway, so...

[YEAH maybe]

Well, you can owe me a few favors, then, if it'll make you happy enough to stop crawling up my tailpipe about my nefarious secret scheme to lull you into a false sense of security and then have absolutely no free time to do anything about it whatsoever because I happen to have enough work on this ship as it is, thank you.

Sure, fine. I can work with that.

Magnanimous of you.

...you want me to talk to Starscream? The other one, I mean, since he's squatting in my quarters to keep away from Tarn, like a sensible person.

Stop making up words.

I don't know. I feel like he's going to make himself even more annoying if he knows we were talking about this. I'll figure out something to do about him.

[y'know like make him dead that works right]

I serve on a ship with Ultra Magnus, don't go blaming me for your lexical inadequacies.

Well, it's your problem, I guess--up to you how to handle it.

[He hesitates for a moment, his lips thinning and his face very bland suddenly.]

What happened to my body? Afterwards, I mean. Is it still on the ship?

What do you mean, what happened to your body. You're in it. It up and vanished on me one day, I don't want to go into how much of a panic that was, but I figured you'd been carried off by medical or something.

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