video;

[procedures]

[ His is a familiar face, if a lot more groomed in terms of facial hair. Alva's wearing the medbay colors, the gold bar on his clothes visible against a borrowed coat, as well as a serious look on his face. He's got his arms crossed too, with the sleeves pulled a third of the way up. ]

Just to get it out of the way first, my name's Alva. I'm not Rogers or Gant. I'm not related to them. I don't have a surname, and I don't have superpowers. That's not the point of this video, though.

Currently I'm assigned to the Medbay as a physician. No specialty, I'm assuming. But before I came on board this ship, I was working as a lab tech at a medical facility where part of my duties included taking care of specific— ["Patients"? Val's not a patient; he was born in the labs. ] Wards, as individuals or as groups, depends on the need. I guess you could say I was also a nurse, of a sort.

My point is— one of my wards is here. His name is Valarie Milos. [ He raises picture of Val, printed out, to the camera. ] I believe some of you have met him.

So you're probably wondering, "why does a young man like him need a nurse for?" He isn't that old. He's only six. I've been looking after him since he was small, and as I've not been reassigned from that duty, I'm going to continue doing so on this ship. Please don't give him any alcohol, any sweets, anything spicy. He'll make himself sick. He is not, under any circumstances, supposed to lift anything heavier than ten kilos in weight. If you find him injured or hurt in any way, please contact me immediately.

And please don't give him any more cats.

—On a related note, if anyone has any specific allergies, please let us at the medbay know. At your convenience, but preferably sooner than later. We're trying to assess how much anti-allergens we have on hand relative to the ship's population, but some of the data seems a little out of date.

Thank you.

Comments

[procedures]

I can live with a little less meat in my meals, Val. I'm not going to die any time soon, I promise.

Why would I trick you?

[mangled]

You blended kale into my yoghurt and drinks for like a month thinking I wouldn't notice.

That's why.

[ deadeyes. ]

[procedures]

To be fair, you just outright refused to eat your vegetables. You needed your fiber.

[ never gonna apologize, sry. ]

[mangled]

To be fair

there are other ways instead of ruining yoghurt!

[procedures]

You would've hated puree. You didn't want vegan sandwiches either.

[ you're making this hard for him, son. ]

[mangled]

What about bread?

You can put vegetables into bread. That's much more acceptable.

Maybe?

[procedures]

You hated raisin bread.

Or maybe it's just the raisins? Raisins are disgusting, I'll admit.

[mangled]

It's because raisins look like turds.

Who wants to eat a turd?

[procedures]

Turdholes? Toilets?

Why am I joking with you, you're evading the argument. Vegetables. You need them.

[mangled]

Agreed, but find some better-tasting vegetables then. They can't all be awful.

[ he is definitely 6 years old. ]