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[The following is actually a series of three separate posts to the network; all three are posted in fairly quick succession, likely before anyone can reply to the first two, though they are open to comments.]

how do you make it so not everyone can read one of these things

[like thirty seconds later]

oh

[a couple of minutes later LOCKED FROM CERTAIN PEOPLE NAMED ELENA FISHER]

so a bunch of people use this system to pour their hearts out and get other people to do the same which usually seems weird to me. i mean just because you say it over the mid doesn't mean you won't run into people later and make it really weird and awkward. i don't know maybe that's just me.

except what the hell i'm pretty drunk right now so why the fuck not!

RIDDLE ME THIS, CREWMATES. pretend for a minute that you're a complete asshole who somehow got the most amazing woman in the world to marry you, fucked it up real fast like dropped a grenade on it bad BECAUSE you're a complete asshole, got her to take you back and start over and then fucked it up again.

what do you do? asking for a friend.

also the first person to make a suggestion that actually works can have some of my alcohol stash. everyone else can fuck off i'm not sharing.

[action options - feel free to go from a network thread to one of these]

[OPTION 1: DRUNK. Nate is pretty toasted as he wanders around the ship, but not so much than he has trouble getting around with just an occasional stumble. Alcohol tends to loosen his lips, so he'll gladly (well, not he's not real glad about anything right now) talk to anyone who makes the poor life decision to talk to him first.

[OPTION 2: DRUNKER. Jeez, he's getting to be a real mess now. Nate makes a trip to where the Mess Hall used to be so he can pour one out in honor of the lost bar. What a hideous waste of alcohol. Afterward, he visits the observation deck to drunkenly look at the stars, and will stay there.

[OPTION 3: DRUNKEST. Oh god he's so unhappy. Look at this complete wreck of a man who's making the observation deck a pretty unpleasant place to be. He is completely wasted. (Existing CR only for this option please—basically, if they've had at least one conversation, you're good.)]

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I don't believe it. Not with the way you're acting.

[Maybe she's trying to get a rise out of him, maybe not, but the point stands.]

You fucked up, fantastic. We all fuck up, as much as I hate to admit it. Now, there's two ways you can do this: prove that you give a damn and want her back, or keep sitting here drinking yourself into a stupor. Now.

[She stares him down hard, without missing a single beat as she takes a swig out of the bottle.]

Tell me. What are you willing to do? Because right now, all I'm seeing is someone who isn't even the Nathan Drake I know. The Nathan Drake that I know doesn't give up. The man next to me is a bloody coward.

[That makes him bristle—seriously, how dare she suggest he doesn't love Elena—and that's probably all that keeps him from snapping back or even walking (staggering) out, because bristling takes concentration in his state.

So he listens. And glares. And then just sighs.]

Anything. I'm willing to do anything.

okay so. im starting to see why she'd dumb you. you're pathetic. please tell me you at least have some money on you or how did you manage to woo her in the first place?

yeah i know
and i don't know
rugged good looks i guess
and i'm pretty good in bed

Edited 2016-08-04 16:53 (UTC)

[ Ha ha, very funny. Snake just warned the guy against this, but he isn't going to waste his time pressing the issue. He's entertained himself long enough that he thinks he can probably get to sleep, so you're on your own, buddy. ]

Good luck with that.

right. i can kinda get behind the last part?

what can i say i try hard

yeah

thanks

so maybe you could try and fuck her senseless or something to see if it works? women love it.

Do you think she'll believe that of you right now? [She sighs.] I'm an expert in waiting, Nate. I've constantly played the long game. I've had to listen and learn. She's not going to tell you what she wants. But watch her, and listen. I can't tell you what to do, but she'll offer cues without even knowing it.

[She takes another swig. Q cocks his head and whimpers a little. He might feel a little bad for Nate right now.]

If she wants her space, give it to her. If she wants to fight back, let her fight it out. She's going to have her own way of coping, and you clearly have your own as well. It's unfortunate but you're going to have to let some of this play out before you can make your move.

[No. He doesn't. Because he hasn't.

Nate sits there for a long moment or few, quiet, and it's only the fact that he's gone absolutely still that says he's heard her—really heard her—at all. Eventually, he sighs and his shoulders slump.]

Are you only being this sincere because I'm drunk and you think I might not remember that you were tomorrow?

i wouldn't be opposed but unfortunately for me she is not a shallow person and expects more from the person who claims to love her
also i did it already

The fact that you're telling me this assures me you'll remember tomorrow. Which means you're under the pain of death if you go around claiming any of this happened.

[Is it a joke, is she serious? Who knows. There's not much of a reputation to maintain anymore, not since Mythos went by the wayside, not since she lost her arm.

It's on the tip of her tongue, the sincerity. This isn't her usual M.O. But she's changed She knows it. She'd lost family, gained family, lost it again, and found some other new form of family. Unfortunate how people change people.

Mechanical fingers flex absently. Fingertips gleam in the light. She lost an arm, and with it a lifestyle, a reputation, an entirely carefully constructed persona. Everything fell apart when she was given the new limb.]

You have no idea what I've lost, Nate. You don't have to lose her. I've seen marriages fall apart over less. I may have caused it once or twice, myself. If she's this important to you, don't lose her. You're a terrible pain without her in your life.

Bullshit. That's not even a real place.

[ Which is deliberately selective skepticism at this point, because he's literally had conversations with Gundams who swear up and down that they're not Gundams, but. ]

You're literally Indiana Jones.

You'd think so, right?

[Nate waves him off with a scornful look and a 'psssht' sound at the comparison, though.]

Indiana Jones doesn't get shot at as much as me. [And he's seen the movies, so he knows the implications of what he's saying.] Or destroy as many lost cities as me.

[Well, two.]

[ Ok. The question is inevitable. ]

Which is how many, exactly?

you say you did it already but it didn't work out? I say you might not be that good after all

Are you kidding?

[ Considering all the chaos going on on the ship, and the disappearance of the mess hall and other room on the ship, and she's going to complain about warm booze? No way. She accepts the bottle and takes a swig. It has a pleasant burn and Tex rolls the liquid around in her mouth before taking a second swallow. ]

You don't fuck around.

[ She hands the bottle back with a small smile, a sympathetic look. ]

[Nate expression shifts to one of deep concentration, as if he's calling forth memories upon memories.]

Two.

[Which is two more than most people.]

[Ah, another advocate to the school of "pretending to feel the thing"]

Something about the military teaches you the finer timing of toilet gags. Let it not be said that our forces lack a sense of humor — we are your one-stop-shop for all genitalia-based jests.

[ NATE... ]

... How.

I didn't MAKE a blanket out of cats
It's genetically modified or something. I don't know, I got it third hand. It purrs and you charge it up in the microwave and

Look, it's really comfortable

and I can't give you advice if I don't know the problem. hint hint.

that only makes it a little bit better just so you know
it's still kind of creepy
but as long as you didn't murder kittens for it that's fine

i thought i was pretty clear about the problem in my post
namely that i am the mayor of fuckupville population: me

First one exploded, second one sort of collapsed into the desert.

[He shrugs. It's not that complicated to him; there are only a few ways to effectively destroy entire cities.]

Turns out if you have a shootout with a megalomaniacal warlord at the foot of a world tree that leaks explosive sap, stuff blows up real good. [He shrugs.] Dunno about Iram, though. I guess I blew up the central cistern and things escalated.

[He didn't stick around to conduct an investigation on the city's structural integrity. He got his ass out of there.]

I'm ok with being creepy as long as I'm warm. It was an easy choice.

Why don't I just be honest and tell you I'm just really nosy.
anyway, you're not screwing up on purpose because you're actually trying to hurt her, right? If that's not it, figuring out why would be a start. Or maybe you're just an idiot. I don't know, I'm just brainstorming

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