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Look, I still want to go for peace on this. I don't want to attack these people, they have lost a whole fucking world of shit already. So I am going to ask for something.

I want a story from your past. Something I can share, something that makes you you. Stories were important to them. Past experiences were important to them. It shouldn't give away anything on the ship, just something that is important to the past. Your past. If there is art you can do, a particular talent, something that is creative, give me this. A picture. A recording.

If you're not interested in avoiding a fight, just go do whatever. Lick on a gun barrel for twenty minutes. Warning, they taste bad. But for the ones that want to try? Do me this favor. Avoiding a repeat of Cadacus Primary is why I asked for this job in the first place.

[He'll... try to avoid arranged marriages this time.]

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Yeah. It's what he wanted.

[Elle is picking at her gloves, fidgeting. She's glad this is voice only, because it means she doesn't have to try to keep eye contact.]

He's really... [Another awkward pause.] He can change. He can. It's just... The hard part is getting him to listen.

What's there to talk about? He was gonna blow up the Mojave just to get back at me, he can keep listening to cave walls for all I care.

[Yeah, she mad.]

[Elle's laugh is... awkward and sheepish.]

It's just... weird, isn't it? That he won't do it unless you give him exactly what he's wanting. Like... sure, it's because... he wants you to know why it happened. But if all he cared about was revenge, he'd go get ED-E and do it himself, instead of waiting. You know?

[fuckyouiwontdowhatyoutellme.avi]

He's not gonna try that if I don't show, is he? Or did he not tell you that while you were gettin' buddy buddy?

We didn't really talk about it, no. He doesn't seem the type to be big about entertaining "what if" questions like that. [Hopeville, she thinks, was the exception. What could've been if it hadn't been destroyed, if he'd been able to settle down there.]

But... I don't think he'll do anything if you don't walk the Divide. It's all about the symbols for him. Bringing to Hopeville the robot that accidentally set off the nukes... and bringing to him the robot that would let him destroy the Mojave.

Hah! So all I gotta do is keep sitting on my ass back in Vegas and he's just... gonna be waiting out there playing cards? Just try and figure out the symbolism behind that.

[What was that that Elle was just saying about how the hardest part is getting someone to listen? Evidently, the way to talk to Surely is to not be oblique about it.

... but. It's not Elle's place, really, to try to get Surely to go talk to Ulysses. It's Surely's choice. And if this is the decision that works for her? Even if Elle's hands are itching to try to tie up loose ends that aren't hers to tie... They aren't hers to tie.]

Yeah, I really... don't think he'll do anything. He kept talking about how it was important for me to walk the Divide.

He see those missiles still lyin' around? He can keep walkin' it himself.

[Felt weird about it then. Feels weirder, knowing that she's the reason they're there in the first place. Guy's pissed she destroyed his home, so... he wants her to keep destroying it?]

Edited 2016-06-30 03:53 (UTC)

[The thought of Ulysses standing, at the end of the road, alone, for... who knows how long -- Elle doesn't know... how long he'd really wait. She knows he doesn't ever expect to leave the Divide, even after.

But this means, too, that... Surely will never hear the words he left for her, once everything was over. Elle considers... offering to -- share it with her, but... no. Surely wouldn't want to hear it, she thinks. And this message, this one was meant for her. Maybe the holotape meant for Surely would say something different. When he left those words for Elle, he was leaving them for a courier who... chose to walk the Divide. Who was enticed by what he promised -- someone who knew her. That idea clearly repulsed Surely, but it was like a siren call to Elle. She didn't know her history. And he said he was someone... who did.

There's a long pause.]

I... um. I... This... This isn't about Ulysses, but, just, I... Did you -- I... You don't... have a scar. From... when the Platinum Chip was taken. I... [... this may be a terrible thing to ask. She doesn't want to possibly dredge up something unpleasant for Surely. But... She... She's going to ask anyway. She can't -- She can't help it.] Do you -- remember? Everything... before that night.

Edited 2016-06-30 04:13 (UTC)

What do you mean, everything?

[She's thinking about it.]

Most stuff, yeah. Far as I can tell, anyway. Could be missin' some shit, but how would I know? [She's trying not to think about it. Doesn't really bother her, even if she is. Ulysses doesn't know her, she knows her. No guy talkin' over a machine's gonna change that. She remembers the signs out by the canyon. You Can Go Home, Courier. Didn't work much on her.]

Kinda getting the feeling that's not the answer you've got, though. [But maybe he knew Elle.]

Edited 2016-06-30 04:32 (UTC)

[Once again, Elle is... relieved that there's no visual part to this conversation. She's staring down at her hands, brow furrowed deeply. She... Surely didn't... forget. Surely didn't forget.

There's another long pause.]

No. [She tries to keep the tremble out of her voice.] I don't remember anything. My first memory... My first memory is -- waking up... in... Doc Mitchell's house. I...

[Surely didn't forget.

Why? Why? Why did Elle forget, but she didn't? Why...]

Edited 2016-06-30 04:36 (UTC)

[That's... really fuckin' weird. Why doesn't she remember?]

Things were kinda fuzzy for awhile, if that makes you feel any better. But, uh-- the thing with those brain guys, that kinda fixed everythin' up. [Did the Thing happen to Elle? Did she have better sense to avoid that satellite? Or did the Thing not work?]

Figure you could just make somethin' up, if you wanted.

[Elle tries to fight down the jealousy that's starting to bloom in her chest. It's... awful. It feels like gecko teeth gnawing on the inside of her chest. The Think Tank were able to fix hers. Why? Why? Was Benny's hand just that much more steady when he shot Elle? Was the wind different on the night Surely was shot, changed the trajectory of the bullets just enough? Why?!

She breathes in deep through her nose, exhales it heavily the same way. It doesn't matter, she tells herself. It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter.]

I... could. I know I could. But it... It wouldn't be the same. It wouldn't be... real. It wouldn't be the truth. I still wouldn't know.

You plan on findin' out?

[When you've already got one asshole out for revenge promising a home, there's gotta be others lying around somewhere. Don't sit right with her, all this memory stuff. When what's his name -- Ulysses, she said -- talked about the Divide, could act like she didn't know what he was talking about because she didn't.]

It's just the past, anyhow. What's it matter where you came from or where you've been?

If I can. But I don't have very many leads. Ulysses knows the places I walked before I came to the Mojave... So I could go there and see. But, getting away from New Vegas, so soon after the Second Battle... for something -- selfish, it...

[Elle's heart is starting to ache. How... How does she explain this? Surely is the first person to ask something like this. It -- Elle can feel it in every fiber of her being, the need to know, but putting it into words?]

I don't know -- I don't know if there's... If there's anyone waiting for me to come home. I don't have any kind of idea the kind of person I used to be. If I hurt anyone else. If there's anything I can do about it now to fix it. I -- It matters. Everything... Everything about it matters. More than I can even say. I feel like there's this giant hole in me, things I almost remember, but I can't.

Don't you got that whole... army of robots... thing? Pretty sure they can handle shit while you take a lil' vacation to wherever you're going.

[If she thinks about it too hard, she's pretty sure Yes Man could do a better job of running this whole thing than her. But fuck that, we got other things to do.]

What kinda person are you now? [Kinda boggling, here. Wasn't aware she was supposed to be keepin' track of this kinda thing.] And if you fucked up somewhere else, well, can't be that bad if nobody's out there lookin' to make you pay for it, right? [Cough.] Can't go back and change it, anyhow, so how're you gonna fix things up?

I... I don't know. I'd feel bad for dumping everything on Yes Man like that. It wouldn't be fair to him.

[Elle needs to calm down. She thinks she knows how to explain this part. She just needs to breathe and stop... whatever it is she's doing. She doesn't need to be upset. There's nothing to be upset about. She can do this. There's a pause as she takes a moment to pull herself together.]

It's... It's -- Not... Not everyone is like Ulysses. Not everyone seeks revenge. That doesn't mean there's nothing to... address. But... Just because I can't... undo the damage, doesn't mean I shouldn't make the effort to make it up to them. Doesn't mean I shouldn't try to make amends.

I can't try to avoid mistakes I've made in the past if I don't know I made it. I can't try to... I can't try to follow Joshua's example if I don't know -- If I don't know what my sins are. Not knowing doesn't mean I'm absolved of them. [That's something Ulysses taught her.]

Edited 2016-07-08 12:41 (UTC)

He's a fuckin' toaster!

[Speech 65/75]

Seems kinda... I dunno. Can't you just fix the stuff you know you did? Don't gotta worry about things you don't know about things you might've done. [Right over her head, all this. What's all this about amends? Elle seems like a pretty alright person from here, what's she worried about, that she nuked a town on purpose?]

The fuck is Joshua. [Who's this douchebag?]

[That literally stuns Elle into silence for a moment.] A... toas -- But... [Eventually, her voice falls, and stays quiet, almost dejected.] He's so much more than that.

I... I mean Joshua Graham. It's... If -- If you don't know it, it's just... It's a really long story. I don't know if I want to go into it. [Normally, she's more than happy to sit up and talk about Joshua. But right now, she just feels -- helpless. She was wrong, she really doesn't know how to explain this in a way Surely will understand. And it makes her feel frustrated with herself, because all of this matters so much to her and she can't seem to get it across.

The only thing she can think of now is that, maybe, if she explains how it feels, like she did with Kazuhira...] It's... It's just. I know -- it's hard to understand. I just... This -- It's... It's so important to me. I've -- Ever since I woke up, it feels like there's this great gaping hole inside of me and it won't go away. There are just so many questions, and I -- I have to know.

I mean, he's got wheels...? [Not really a Bots Rights poster child, here. Or at least, she's no good at talking 'bout them.]

That sounds kinda familiar.... [Where'd she hear that name before... Wasn't she talkin' to Chief Hanlon about... Oh!] Wasn't he at Hoover Dam...? Worked for Caesar, got kicked off a canyon or something? Or is this a different guy? [Or does she have the name mixed up?]

So go and find out, don't see what's so complicated about that. You rather sit around miserable because you might boss a robot around a little?

[Elle sighs quietly.] Yeah... That's who I mean. I've... met him. Like I said, it's... It's a really long story.

I have a responsibility. People are depending on me, now. I... Yes Man can't do everything. And he shouldn't have to. Things are still really unstable, I shouldn't just... leave when I should be helping. As much... As much as this is important to me, there are other things going on that are more important than me, than what I want for my sake.

No kidding?! [And then she starts laughing. Really hard.] Boone tell you I killed Caesar yet?

[Okay, and after she wipes the laugh-tears from her eyes a bit, it's time to get serious.]

That don't make no sense. Everybody can go to you and get their problems solved, but you gotta just... sit on your hands, 'cause they might need you for some shit? If it's that important, they can pay you. Or... I don't know, ask somebody else for a change. Whole place ain't gonna fall apart 'cause you took your eyes off the ball for a couple seconds.

I... [Again, Elle is caught off-guard as Surely starts to laugh, but luckily, it just ends up seeming like she's politely waiting for her laughter to end, so, uh, hey.] You know? Honestly, I have no idea how Joshua would feel about that.

I... I just. It's not little stuff. I don't mean like -- running errands in Freeside. The NCR is pulling out of the Mojave. They've been manning HELIOS One and Hoover Dam. I need to figure out how to keep those places running -- I gotta find people who can keep them running. Who can teach others how to do it, too, so we aren't reliant on just a handful of people. And that's just to start with.

Could go and find out. [Focus, Surely, focus. Operation: Fuck the Legion can wait.]

Well. [That's a very good argument, so let's think about it for a second. Alas, all she comes up with is this.] That idiot with the sunglasses still have a job?

Mr. Fantastic? Uh... The NCR is the one who brought him in, so. Probably not? At least, I hope not. I'm definitely not leaving him in charge, though. I don't know a whole lot about power stations, but... Someone who does told me that he, uh, isn't doing a good job.

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