Tailgate (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
daintylegs) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
thisavrou2016-05-18 12:20 am
daintylegs) wrote in thisavrou2016-05-18 12:20 am
Entry tags:
[May 19th] Text/Video
[Locked FROM the Lost Light Crew]
[A lot happens in the short time he's been gone, and Tailgate's still wrapping his head around it. Several things are very clear, though, and the first thing Tailgate does when he gets back is angrily rip up that photo and toss it out the garbage chute. It doesn't make him feel good, but it's better than nothing.
In the end, he has so many questions. And he can't ask the people closest to him because he can't handle admitting how terribly, and completely, he had been manipulated. For something like this, it feels better to ask things from complete strangers.]
What do you do when you find out that the person you had spent months with turns out to be an absolute gearstick? No, that's not even the right or strongest word to use. What I should be asking is, what do you do when you found out that someone who told you that they cared about you, and offered to be your conjunx endura, turned out to be using you? What if he separated you from your friends and told you all sorts of terrible lies? What if he told you to prove your love to him by hurting someone else? What kind of person does that?
And how do you recover from it?
[Because he doesn't know. No one had ever paid attention to him the same way Getaway has, and every part of him feels crushed and kicked around. His shame over the matter is great enough that he carefully locks this conversation from his Lost Light crewmates. There's not much reason for it, truthfully, other than to hide the extent of how mind-blowingly stupid he is.]
[Locked TO The Lost Light Crew]
[But of course, there are some mind-blowingly stupid things he's done recently that he can't hide, and Tailgate chooses now to reveal them. This time he locks his post to his Lost Light crewmates, and puts on his bravest face.]
I have a confession to make.
[Instantly, his brave face crumbles.]
I'm... I'm...
I followed Tarn into his world. Yes, I know it was stupid, but while I was there... Um. Well...
Maybe it'll be better to show you.
[He turns his camera so that the purple badge on his chest can be seen. After a moment, he moves the camera back to his face.]
Please don't be angry. I... Tarn said I should, and I just... couldn't say no.
I'm sorry.
[A lot happens in the short time he's been gone, and Tailgate's still wrapping his head around it. Several things are very clear, though, and the first thing Tailgate does when he gets back is angrily rip up that photo and toss it out the garbage chute. It doesn't make him feel good, but it's better than nothing.
In the end, he has so many questions. And he can't ask the people closest to him because he can't handle admitting how terribly, and completely, he had been manipulated. For something like this, it feels better to ask things from complete strangers.]
What do you do when you find out that the person you had spent months with turns out to be an absolute gearstick? No, that's not even the right or strongest word to use. What I should be asking is, what do you do when you found out that someone who told you that they cared about you, and offered to be your conjunx endura, turned out to be using you? What if he separated you from your friends and told you all sorts of terrible lies? What if he told you to prove your love to him by hurting someone else? What kind of person does that?
And how do you recover from it?
[Because he doesn't know. No one had ever paid attention to him the same way Getaway has, and every part of him feels crushed and kicked around. His shame over the matter is great enough that he carefully locks this conversation from his Lost Light crewmates. There's not much reason for it, truthfully, other than to hide the extent of how mind-blowingly stupid he is.]
[Locked TO The Lost Light Crew]
[But of course, there are some mind-blowingly stupid things he's done recently that he can't hide, and Tailgate chooses now to reveal them. This time he locks his post to his Lost Light crewmates, and puts on his bravest face.]
I have a confession to make.
[Instantly, his brave face crumbles.]
I'm... I'm...
I followed Tarn into his world. Yes, I know it was stupid, but while I was there... Um. Well...
Maybe it'll be better to show you.
[He turns his camera so that the purple badge on his chest can be seen. After a moment, he moves the camera back to his face.]
Please don't be angry. I... Tarn said I should, and I just... couldn't say no.
I'm sorry.
no subject
[Which is about as simple as he can make it. He knows all the reasons to lie, and all the ways people do it, but that kind of lying he knows mostly from experience. And for him, it had so often been about proving his superiority, of making people dance because he could.]
Then you've learnt from the experience. In the grand scheme of things, that actually puts you ahead of some, trust me.