Tailgate (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
daintylegs) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
thisavrou2016-05-18 12:20 am
daintylegs) wrote in thisavrou2016-05-18 12:20 am
Entry tags:
[May 19th] Text/Video
[Locked FROM the Lost Light Crew]
[A lot happens in the short time he's been gone, and Tailgate's still wrapping his head around it. Several things are very clear, though, and the first thing Tailgate does when he gets back is angrily rip up that photo and toss it out the garbage chute. It doesn't make him feel good, but it's better than nothing.
In the end, he has so many questions. And he can't ask the people closest to him because he can't handle admitting how terribly, and completely, he had been manipulated. For something like this, it feels better to ask things from complete strangers.]
What do you do when you find out that the person you had spent months with turns out to be an absolute gearstick? No, that's not even the right or strongest word to use. What I should be asking is, what do you do when you found out that someone who told you that they cared about you, and offered to be your conjunx endura, turned out to be using you? What if he separated you from your friends and told you all sorts of terrible lies? What if he told you to prove your love to him by hurting someone else? What kind of person does that?
And how do you recover from it?
[Because he doesn't know. No one had ever paid attention to him the same way Getaway has, and every part of him feels crushed and kicked around. His shame over the matter is great enough that he carefully locks this conversation from his Lost Light crewmates. There's not much reason for it, truthfully, other than to hide the extent of how mind-blowingly stupid he is.]
[Locked TO The Lost Light Crew]
[But of course, there are some mind-blowingly stupid things he's done recently that he can't hide, and Tailgate chooses now to reveal them. This time he locks his post to his Lost Light crewmates, and puts on his bravest face.]
I have a confession to make.
[Instantly, his brave face crumbles.]
I'm... I'm...
I followed Tarn into his world. Yes, I know it was stupid, but while I was there... Um. Well...
Maybe it'll be better to show you.
[He turns his camera so that the purple badge on his chest can be seen. After a moment, he moves the camera back to his face.]
Please don't be angry. I... Tarn said I should, and I just... couldn't say no.
I'm sorry.
[A lot happens in the short time he's been gone, and Tailgate's still wrapping his head around it. Several things are very clear, though, and the first thing Tailgate does when he gets back is angrily rip up that photo and toss it out the garbage chute. It doesn't make him feel good, but it's better than nothing.
In the end, he has so many questions. And he can't ask the people closest to him because he can't handle admitting how terribly, and completely, he had been manipulated. For something like this, it feels better to ask things from complete strangers.]
What do you do when you find out that the person you had spent months with turns out to be an absolute gearstick? No, that's not even the right or strongest word to use. What I should be asking is, what do you do when you found out that someone who told you that they cared about you, and offered to be your conjunx endura, turned out to be using you? What if he separated you from your friends and told you all sorts of terrible lies? What if he told you to prove your love to him by hurting someone else? What kind of person does that?
And how do you recover from it?
[Because he doesn't know. No one had ever paid attention to him the same way Getaway has, and every part of him feels crushed and kicked around. His shame over the matter is great enough that he carefully locks this conversation from his Lost Light crewmates. There's not much reason for it, truthfully, other than to hide the extent of how mind-blowingly stupid he is.]
[Locked TO The Lost Light Crew]
[But of course, there are some mind-blowingly stupid things he's done recently that he can't hide, and Tailgate chooses now to reveal them. This time he locks his post to his Lost Light crewmates, and puts on his bravest face.]
I have a confession to make.
[Instantly, his brave face crumbles.]
I'm... I'm...
I followed Tarn into his world. Yes, I know it was stupid, but while I was there... Um. Well...
Maybe it'll be better to show you.
[He turns his camera so that the purple badge on his chest can be seen. After a moment, he moves the camera back to his face.]
Please don't be angry. I... Tarn said I should, and I just... couldn't say no.
I'm sorry.
no subject
And I was on his ship.
[He feverishly hopes that this is the extent of Rodimus' anger towards him.]
But it doesn't change anything, right? I mean, I'm still me, and we're still friends... right?
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[And Tailgate has a hard time with disappointment from other people. He realizes that this a very feeble excuse to do anything.]
And... and I thought maybe we could be friends anyway. I mean, if I could be friends with Cyclonus and Megatron, why not Tarn? Everyone says that they've all done bad things and...
no subject
Primus, Tailgate.
Megatron's our prisoner and he's on drugs! And Cyclonus is-- Cyclonus is a different story. He was there with me in Vector Sigma and saved Cybertron with us. And I had a talk with him when he showed up on the ship.
Just. Tarn is a militant Decepticon torturer.
no subject
[He lets out a small sob, covering his face, the MID screen turning away for a moment. He'd be quite happy to stay like that, but another thought rises that brings him some comfort.]
It doesn't meany anything anyway.
[Tailgate says when he turns the camera back towards himself.]
It's just a badge.
no subject
Wait, where's your Autobot badge?
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Gone?!
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[And that's another reason to be upset too, because Tailgate was rather fond of his badge. He can't say the same for his current one, even if it is literally made for him.]
So, I guess I'm stuck with this one.
At least it matches my colour scheme.
no subject
[ Tailgate, why. He looks very upset. ]
Or you could just take it off? I mean it's not like you made it from your spark casing, right?
no subject
[...]
It hurt at lot less than I was expecting.
You're... taking this a lot more personally than I was expecting.