[May 19th] Text/Video

[daintylegs]

[Locked FROM the Lost Light Crew]

[A lot happens in the short time he's been gone, and Tailgate's still wrapping his head around it. Several things are very clear, though, and the first thing Tailgate does when he gets back is angrily rip up that photo and toss it out the garbage chute. It doesn't make him feel good, but it's better than nothing.

In the end, he has so many questions. And he can't ask the people closest to him because he can't handle admitting how terribly, and completely, he had been manipulated. For something like this, it feels better to ask things from complete strangers.]

What do you do when you find out that the person you had spent months with turns out to be an absolute gearstick? No, that's not even the right or strongest word to use. What I should be asking is, what do you do when you found out that someone who told you that they cared about you, and offered to be your conjunx endura, turned out to be using you? What if he separated you from your friends and told you all sorts of terrible lies? What if he told you to prove your love to him by hurting someone else? What kind of person does that?

And how do you recover from it?

[Because he doesn't know. No one had ever paid attention to him the same way Getaway has, and every part of him feels crushed and kicked around. His shame over the matter is great enough that he carefully locks this conversation from his Lost Light crewmates. There's not much reason for it, truthfully, other than to hide the extent of how mind-blowingly stupid he is.]

[Locked TO The Lost Light Crew]

[But of course, there are some mind-blowingly stupid things he's done recently that he can't hide, and Tailgate chooses now to reveal them. This time he locks his post to his Lost Light crewmates, and puts on his bravest face.]

I have a confession to make.

[Instantly, his brave face crumbles.]

I'm... I'm...

I followed Tarn into his world. Yes, I know it was stupid, but while I was there... Um. Well...

Maybe it'll be better to show you.

[He turns his camera so that the purple badge on his chest can be seen. After a moment, he moves the camera back to his face.]

Please don't be angry. I... Tarn said I should, and I just... couldn't say no.

I'm sorry.

Comments

text;

[niffin]

first things first: are you in a safe place? are you with anyone?

text;

[daintylegs]

this happened back home
not here
he's not here so I think I'm safe
good thing too because I would have gone out of my way to punch him into space

[niffin]

just don't punch him into this space because he sounds like a real dick

i can't imagine how it has to feel to be dealing with that kind of betrayal. do you have anyone here who also knew him, that you could talk about this with?

[daintylegs]

I don't know what a dick is but he's definitely that and worse.
He didn't just betray me, he sent me to die. He spent all that time telling me nice things and dancing and fishing together just so he can get me to do something. He told me that all I had to do was prove my love for him and we'd be Conjunx Endura, and we'd be happy.

I never had anyone say such nice things to me before. I'm so stupid! I should have known something was wrong. Looking back, everything he said sounds so fake, how did I miss it?

[He pauses for a moment to bury his face into his hands. Just admitting it to people makes him feel like the stupidest person alive. No wonder Getaway decided to use him, it must have been so easy.]

I have my friends. I know that Cyclonus knew, he tried to warn me. I hope he can forgive me for choosing Getaway over him.

[niffin]

ok, a total fucking dick, just trust me on this one

you're not stupid. people like that, they'll do anything to get what they want. sometimes that even means pretending to be someone they're not. someone kind, attentive, loving

[ WTF a Conjunx is, Alice doesn't have the slightest idea. But the importance of the context is clear enough. ]

and you aren't wrong to respond positively to that. all it means is that you treat people well. him taking advantage of that, of lying about being that too, that's on him

your friends, people who love you, they'll understand. if they're upset, it's just because they were worried for you.

[daintylegs]

But he chose me because no one else would have fallen for it. It's mMY fault for being too... whatever i am. if i had been diferent, none of this would hav happened

i jut wantd someone to say thy loved me. i should have known better who evn would
why am i so pathetic?
bet he laughed at me th entir time
stupid pathetic tailgate

[niffin]

hey

hey

where are you? we're going to talk about this in person, ok? i'm getting ready to go now.

[daintylegs]

garden

[niffin]

[ She's out of breath when she arrives, peering around the trees with a faintly hunted look. She's seen Tailgate before on the network, has some idea of what to look for, but that doesn't mean she has any clue about the details. Aren't these guys supposed to be, like, huge?

If he was, she's pretty sure he would've suggested a different meeting place.

Alice carefully smooths out her expression, calls out soft: ]

Hey? I'm, uh. It's Alice. From the network.

[daintylegs]

[Tailgate isn't too hard to notice. While he's not nearly as big as any of his friends, he's fairly sizable compared to a human. Somewhere in the 8-10 feet range, if you want to be more specific. He is sitting, at this moment, with both his arms wrapped around his knees, and he sadly waves Alice over.]

I'm Tailgate, hi. Thanks for... For coming.

[He hadn't doubted that she would, either. Maybe he should start doubting people more often from now on. Trusting others is how he gets into these situations anyway.

He turns away from and stares down at a small bush with pink flowers on it.]

Everyone like me is a lot bigger than I am, so I like to hide in places they can't get me. It's easy on this ship, because there are a lot of places that are too small for them.