thisavrou | 03 | audio; forwarded to the 8th

It’s almost funny how you guys are rallying around Rinzler lately. All this talk about how what we did wasn’t right, how we need to fix the system here, how we need to be better people. So much outrage, you guys seemed like you really cared a lot about free will and doing the right thing.

And I could have bought it, I really could have, if it weren’t for what happened a few months ago. When the captains did the same thing to someone on board and well, I checked because surely if you’re so upset now it must have been all out war back then. [A small, hollow laugh.] But no. You guys were pretty calm about it. Not even a peep.

And so I started thinking, why? I mean, free will matters right? Justice matters.

There had to be some reason you cared more about what we did to a robot than a mutant, right? Because that’s what he was. A mutant. You even voted to suppress his mutation. Cure him. Temporary of course, because you’re not evil.

It's just, we are. We’re threats. We’re uncontrollable, dangerous. It’s not like we’re real people. Not like Rinzler. [He starts to get louder, faster. Something close to hysteria starting to seep through.] Our free will and DNA and heads, they’re okay to mess with! It’s okay to go after us! Not with a person like Rinzler though. I mean, there’s just a few of us, so it makes sense right? There’s so many of these robots and computers, and you humans out there made them. And that computer can attack and hurt people like us and whatever! The rest of you got to protect your tools. Got to be able to use them again.

We’re different and everyone always fears what’s different. That’s what it is right? Right? Either that or you’re just a bunch of damn hypocrites pretending majority rule has ever been good for the rest of us. Just rather call out people like me and sit on your asses than ask yourselves why this kind of shit was let go on so long and why you never did anything before! Rather take it out on people trying to do something, trying to survive than fix your own damn mistakes!

So come on. [There's no pretense of calm anymore, but the rushed tone is gone. He speaks slowly, pronouncing each word with vitriol. He wants to be sure he's not misunderstood, that people are listening.] Which is it?

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She was trying to help. I was the one who screwed it up.

[He wants to believe she had his best interests at heart and he wants to believe in her. And he really doesn't want to believe he'd made a mistake in trusting her. He doesn't want to think about how things would have different if he'd went to someone other than her.]

That's why I have to do something! I have to fix what I messed up. I have to make it so they're okay. I can't just leave it half way.

Peter this whole plan was a mistake. I've been lured into traps before and I killed everyone there. There is nothing that turns a killer on high alert than being cornered. If you asked my opinion, maybe I would have told you that.

And this... you might want to consider the crap that your sister gets for people being afraid of her getting into their head. Just in general. I don't think this is helping. I think you are afraid, afraid of losing people. And that's okay. But it's leading to bad choices.

But my sister isn't dangerous! She doesn't go around threatening people over stupid stuff. She wouldn't hurt anyone that didn't deserve it.

What other choices did I have? Maybe, maybe the trap wasn't my brightest moment. [It pains him to say it, even for the sake of trying to make a point. He feels he must return Alice's loyalty, even in this.] But it happened. I can't change that. I had to do something from there. This was the better option. I promised I'd stop fighting, so trying to kill him. This was the peaceful way to settle it. Alan said he'd fix it. Alan's made him, for something else. To be something better. He'd know how to fix this and he was going to! Me around or not.

Alice would have went alone to get him and I couldn't let her do that. What if he killed her?

If a mistake was already made, this was the only option we had to keep it from getting worse.

The peaceful way to settle it would be to tell him to fuck off and never look at you or your family again. And if he did otherwise, ask his old man and brother alternate self thing to make sure he listened. They're willing to listen and are embarrassed of him.

As for Alice? If you told me, I would have stopped her. I could have. I know you are loyal and it's good to be loyal. But sometimes being loyal is not just making friends survive, it's telling them that they're making a shitty choice. The people who love me most, that have never abandoned me, have always done that. I make a lot of bad choices, Peter. And I am glad you learn from this one. But next time, tell the asshole to fuck off. Tell Alice you want to take care of your own business because you're old enough to manage it. And if Rinzler did his shitty little comments? That's another good thing to learn. Someone says that stuff to you? Sometimes you turn and walk the other way.

There is no shame in being too good to deal with someone else's insecure bullshit. And that's what he is- he's not a killing machine or many more would be dead. He's an sad cobbled together little fuck with a point to prove. [Something Niko sadly identifies with.] It is even my guess that he thought you were walking all over him. After all, you can talk. He barely can. He had to take everything that is said to him, and only his fists to express himself.

Maybe if you wanted to help, giving him his words back would have been better.

I told him to back off, he just told me to try to make him. [Or that's how Peter took it.] Alan said he'd do something and he never did. I didn't even know about a brother!

And why would I have went to anyone about Alice? I didn't even want her involved but she kept insisting and promising to help. Niko, I don't want anyone doing anything to Alice. [There's a pause, a little fear creeping into his tone because as much as he likes Niko, this entire mess has him still worried someone might do something to her.] Anything, okay?

If he wanted to be angry at me, he could have just attacked me! He could have just come at me! He didn't have to threaten her. I could have handled anything else. Someone wants to start something with me? Whatever, I deal with that shit all the time. It's never worth fighting about. But she is. I couldn't walk away from it after she got involved. You know that.

I've already put her in danger at home. I can't let it slide here. So I didn't want to help him. I just wanted him away from her. Whatever form that took.

I wouldn't have done anything to her, I would have talked to her. She was on the same ship with me before. The one that made us destroy planets, or else they threaten to blow up our own. That part, I do not know if she told you. But that's what she did, what we both had to do.

Alice's morality is a little broken.

You're on the same ship with him. And they will always bring us back if they can. Walking away is your only choice this time. It is the same for him.

She didn't.

[But he doesn't see what that has to do with anything. He can't see beyond his belief she had just been trying to help. Maybe if he was calmer, maybe if he had time to sit down and think instead of letting his emotions cloud his judgment, he could look at this rationally.]

I'm not doing anything else to him. I told Wanda I wouldn't try to fight him anymore. And I won't unless he does something to her. But I don't have to walk away from calling out everyone else.

03 | audio; forwarded to the 8th

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