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Hi, everyone! My name is Riptide, and welcome to what I, personally, have come to lovingly call Jack-- er... to be named!
[he's speaking very quietly, despite the enthusiasm and astute viewers may note that he's in the observation deck, crouched in a corner.]
Today's episode is focused on how long I can record Tailgate and Megatron doing something embarrassing before they notice! You'd be surprised how often this happens, despite the weird weary old man image Megatron has going. Anyway, let's see...
[the camera angle is skewed slightly as he leans over out from his little hiding place. it doesn't take too long to refocus on the odd pair sitting a little way across the deck and level out.]
Oh!
[Tailgate can’t suppress a giggle as his hands tingle.]
That tickles!
[How they came to be here is anyone’s guess, but the feed opens up to Tailgate and Megatron on the observation deck. This in itself isn’t particularly interesting or unusual, but what stands out is that they seem to be holding hands. Their sheer size difference, Megatron being the great dane to Tailgate’s chihuahua, makes this setup a little awkward. Even while crouching, Megatron completely dwarfs Tailgate in every way possible. However, Tailgate doesn’t seem to mind.]
Did that say… um… The Lost Light is… no I lost it.
Landing. The word is landing. The verbs tend to feel like this-
[His fingers, interlaced with Tailgate’s, shift slightly, lightly pushing on the small wrist of the Autobot’s hand to repeat the word. He then begins to repeat the sentence contained within the gesture.]
Landing on....
[His thumbs move over, the right hand shifting to a position nearly enclosing Tailgate’s hand entirely. His movements are slow and deliberate. Even someone Tailgate’s size was easier to speak hand with than Ravage’s paws, but since the Autobot was learning, he exaggerated each word.]
Landing on… Cybertron! Er, right?
Okay, now it’s my turn. Hmm...
[His brow furrows with concentration. This isn’t the first time Tailgate’s done this sort of thing, he used to do it with Getaway from time to time, but he finds it a little harder with Megatron’s hands so enormously big. Though unseen by the camera, Tailgate shifts his hands and fingers so he can, haltingly, send his own message.
You are my fusspot.
And with that he beams up at Megatron, obviously pleased with himself.]
Did I get that right? I hope I said that you were my friend and not that you were my most hated enemy or something. Though, I guess as an Autobot that’s technically true.
[The tug at the corners of his eyes and mouth suggest otherwise. If Tailgate pays attention enough - he may notice he almost prompted a smile.]
No, you would save that word for someone you find more… irritating. This is what you want.
[His hands shift again. The motions were nearly identical - save for the last word - which he corrects.]
Ah! Friendship tickles.
[Tailgate focuses on that word, memorising everything about it. It is, after all, the most important word in his vocabulary. He repeats it back to Megatron again, properly this time.]
[Megatron’s hands stop. The ease from his face leaves as something catches his attention, mouth narrowing into a thin frown. He looks up directly at the camera.]
...Ah.
[listen hard enough and you'll pinpoint the exact moment riptide accepts his death.]
[he's speaking very quietly, despite the enthusiasm and astute viewers may note that he's in the observation deck, crouched in a corner.]
Today's episode is focused on how long I can record Tailgate and Megatron doing something embarrassing before they notice! You'd be surprised how often this happens, despite the weird weary old man image Megatron has going. Anyway, let's see...
[the camera angle is skewed slightly as he leans over out from his little hiding place. it doesn't take too long to refocus on the odd pair sitting a little way across the deck and level out.]
Oh!
[Tailgate can’t suppress a giggle as his hands tingle.]
That tickles!
[How they came to be here is anyone’s guess, but the feed opens up to Tailgate and Megatron on the observation deck. This in itself isn’t particularly interesting or unusual, but what stands out is that they seem to be holding hands. Their sheer size difference, Megatron being the great dane to Tailgate’s chihuahua, makes this setup a little awkward. Even while crouching, Megatron completely dwarfs Tailgate in every way possible. However, Tailgate doesn’t seem to mind.]
Did that say… um… The Lost Light is… no I lost it.
Landing. The word is landing. The verbs tend to feel like this-
[His fingers, interlaced with Tailgate’s, shift slightly, lightly pushing on the small wrist of the Autobot’s hand to repeat the word. He then begins to repeat the sentence contained within the gesture.]
Landing on....
[His thumbs move over, the right hand shifting to a position nearly enclosing Tailgate’s hand entirely. His movements are slow and deliberate. Even someone Tailgate’s size was easier to speak hand with than Ravage’s paws, but since the Autobot was learning, he exaggerated each word.]
Landing on… Cybertron! Er, right?
Okay, now it’s my turn. Hmm...
[His brow furrows with concentration. This isn’t the first time Tailgate’s done this sort of thing, he used to do it with Getaway from time to time, but he finds it a little harder with Megatron’s hands so enormously big. Though unseen by the camera, Tailgate shifts his hands and fingers so he can, haltingly, send his own message.
You are my fusspot.
And with that he beams up at Megatron, obviously pleased with himself.]
Did I get that right? I hope I said that you were my friend and not that you were my most hated enemy or something. Though, I guess as an Autobot that’s technically true.
[The tug at the corners of his eyes and mouth suggest otherwise. If Tailgate pays attention enough - he may notice he almost prompted a smile.]
No, you would save that word for someone you find more… irritating. This is what you want.
[His hands shift again. The motions were nearly identical - save for the last word - which he corrects.]
Ah! Friendship tickles.
[Tailgate focuses on that word, memorising everything about it. It is, after all, the most important word in his vocabulary. He repeats it back to Megatron again, properly this time.]
[Megatron’s hands stop. The ease from his face leaves as something catches his attention, mouth narrowing into a thin frown. He looks up directly at the camera.]
...Ah.
[listen hard enough and you'll pinpoint the exact moment riptide accepts his death.]
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The environment I was raised in [and prison and organized crime and the military and the merchant navy] could make it send wrong ideas.
Also I agree with the revenge idea you speak of with another person. Get him back pretty good.
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[Imagine not holding hands with other Cybertronians because of pronouns! It's such a strangely backwards thinking.]
Yeah, Riptide deserves to be glued to his bed. Out of love and good fun, of course.
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Good plan. Make sure it is the strong stuff.
[Good diplomacy, Niko.]
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That's so weird.
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Then it became tradition. But people get scared of tradition being broken, so some religions started to say that if people loved someone of the same gender then when they died their soul would suffer. So that made a lot of men scared. Not to mention? We're kind of jerks to everybody.
I mean, even if not all human, look at how many of the fights that hurt people here have been started by people that identify as men as opposed to those that are women. I have been hit by much more men than I have women. It is a very small sample but most of the time that's how it works out. We can be stupid violent idiots. Even without the threat of afterlife, we're nervous of each other when we are living.
But maybe if there were more romantic movies about two people of the same gender loving each other? And both being okay with it even if they are tough guys are strong mean ladies, then this wouldn't be so scary for people. I don't even like movies anyway. I nitpick too much.
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[Tailgate's brow furrows in disapproval. Women as property? That sounds like slavery!]
If anyone tried to make Nautica or Velocity their property, I bet they'd hit them with something hard and sharp. They're super nice, but I don't ever want to see them angry.
[Nautica getting angry would probably spell the end of the world as they know it.]
There aren't a lot of Cybertronian movies, to be honest. Rewind mostly has propaganda stuff from the war, so we usually just watch alien movies instead. I guess there just isn't time to make those when things are actively going to hell.
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I think it is similar with me. I did not get electricity until I was eleven or twelve. And then the war came and no time to watch movies. When I did? They all felt fake. I could not identify with them.
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[like tailgate, riptide doesn't have the best grasp of gender beyond the pronouns.]
What revenge? Who's getting revenge? It better not be on me.
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In my society, most men are pretty much assholes. It is a miracle that any women date us at all. If you're very lucky, you find one that is not secretly a prick or completely full of himself.
A lot of us are big dumb aggressive apes and we know it. Like sometimes we got complicated hand greetings. But like... nothing that makes use keep hand contact for too long. Because I think human men are scared of having what could be meant as romantic gestures with other men. And a lot of the men I have been around have been especially forceful, pushy assholes with something to prove. I had a friend that I had to protect from being beaten up, just because he does like other men romantically.
There might be some pretty good people here, but back home human men could never talk like this. Unless they were trying to communicate in secret then they would probably do that.
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[which, you know. when 90% of a race identifies as male...]
Anyway, no-one really cares about handholding when it's also a language.
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Tarn may go on about a shitty history, but at least you guys can be really cool about being close to one another. Which is important on a ship with so little space but still.
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[depressing, but the truth.]
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[he's trying to put a positive spin on this. imagine living for millions of years with someone you love a lot!!]
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I think we started way back with fish. And then it turned a few other things that I don't remember but fish that breathe first.
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That's just how the universe is, though, isn't it? I'm pretty sure there's some really long lived organic races.
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At least you guys don't got to go through puberty or anything.
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[robots do everything slowly, regardless. imagine a teenager that's still a teenager after 3 million years. that's riptide.]
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[he shakes his head. then, based on his experience of other humans telling him about human stuff:] No, Cybertronians don't have puberty. Before you ask.
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[Always so squishy and eager to touch each other. It was very strange to him.]
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[He sat on your foot, Megatron. That should say something significant.]
Generally other men? At least human men? This ship is lucky to have pulled so many decent people of my gender and species onto it. And still. There is a lot of aggression among us. It makes getting close to someone feel not so safe.