text; locked from Riptide

[redshitlord]

HELP OK SO

UM

I NEED TO KNOW LIKE WHAT YOU DO WHEN YOU ASK SOMEONE TO GO DO SOMETHING AND THEY SAY YES

ALSO WHEN YOU KIND OF MAYBE



THINK THEYRE REALLY COOL ??? IN A LOT OF WAYS

TAILGTE SAYS BRING A PRESENT AND TALK ABOUT YROUSELF BUT ?????



HOW DO I DO THIS HELP ITS IMPORTANT

[No, it's really not that important. He's just panicking and completely misreading a situation. Whoops.]

Comments

[text]

[imahologram]

[Oh, Sideswipe.]

What are you planning to do on your date? That might make a difference.

text

[ersatzeverything]

Okay, here's what you do. First, get a piece of paper--for you, I'd say poster-sized, off-white, 80#--and then write down exactly what I tell you. It goes like this:

Do you like Sideswipe as more than a friend?

[] yes
[] no
[] maybe

After you've done that, fold the paper in half and then in half again and give it to one of your friends to deliver to Riptide to fill out, hand back to that friend, who will then return to you. Then you'll know where you stand.

Oh, and make sure that the dots of the "i"s are all, like, cute little open circles. That's super important.

[redshitlord]

WELL
KIND OF???

i mean hes awesome and sure im awesome too but hes been in the WAR and stuff

you sure?

[redshitlord]

[What is sleeping with people.]

Just... be fun?

And that's seriously it?

[There's got to be more to it than that. That just. Sounds too simple.]

[redshitlord]

Dude, cool accent.

[And he means it, too. No one says it like that, and it sounds neat.]

I already talk to him like all the time. We're kinda.



Roommates.

So you see, it'd be weird if I went and made this... weird.

[redshitlord]

Okay, but, see, Tailgate said to give the present, and he's actually from the same world as ... this guy. So they could do it different!

And yes it's something to freak out about!

[redshitlord]

ok so i said hey riptide u wanna go watch the stars itd be fun
and he was like SURE




so i think i kind of
asked him
to date

and now i dont know what im doing help me rey youre my only hope

[Sideswipe you said that to Tailgate like five minutes ago, you can't pull that one twice.]

[text]

[redshitlord]

i was like HEY YOU WANNA GO LOOK AT STARS AND NOT TALK ABOUT GIANT PURPLE MURDERBOTS????

and he was like 'hey sure cool ;D'


so???? DOES THAT HELP???

text

[redshitlord]

dude thats


thats like something out of one of those Holemark movies or something

are you serious???

humans really do that???

[deal]

It really isn't. I promise.

What present are you wanting to give to him, anyway?

[daintylegs]

i think u should avoid talking about the war
unless you can be sensitive about it
he's an mto you know

i bet if u tried to talk about the war and how awesome it is he wouldn't like it much

[imahologram]

Bringing a present is very gentlemanly of you. Just let the conversation develop naturally. Don't worry too much about talking about yourself if you'd rather talk about something else.

Have you ever been on a date before?

text

[ersatzeverything]

Totally. It never fails. Humans have been successfully using it for, like, millennia.

[redshitlord]

whats an mto ???

but it was wasnt it??
hes like a hero or something right ??

thats like what it is back home



except bee hes just bee

[redshitlord]

[Jazz hands into:]

Boat polish.

[redshitlord]

ok cool cause i dont think im supposed to just be like HEY YOU WANNA TALK ABOUT ME? the whole time yknow



OH SURE TOTALLY.
LOTS OF DATES.
EVERY NIGHT.

text

[redshitlord]

seriously????



is there even paper on this ship?

[deal]

[She has no words. At all.

It takes her a while to respond.]

Is that some kind of sex thing where you're from? It's not like he has a boat here that can be polished.

[daintylegs]

[Y'know it's not often that Tailgate gets to feel like the more knowledgeable one in a situation.]

wow you should def not talk about the war
talk about music instead
that's nicer

[imahologram]

If you do that, you probably won't have a second date. You know how to have a good conversation already, Sideswipe. We've had them before.

[...Sideswipe, bro. There is no need for sarcasm.]

Then I'm sure you'll be fine, if you're so experienced.

text

[ersatzeverything]

Sure there is. There are trees aren't there? Paper is part of the natural life cycle of trees.

[warandpeace]

Think of how many murders and declarations of horrible atrocities have happened on this ship in the past month.

Wouldn't you be happy to be around someone that took your mind off that?

Rare treat. Those people. More important than you'd think.

[vengeance_driven]

Thanks. I still have to work a little extra with certain words.

That is a sticky situation. And does not leave a lot of guess work for hypothetical questions. At least you already know all of their more annoying habits and are okay with those.

[redshitlord]

tailgate

whats an mto

[redshitlord]

People got murdered here? Already? When did he -- I didn't think he'd done anything yet!

[See, to Sideswipe, the only scary murderer here is Tarn.]

... Y-yeah though, that's why I asked him to go with me. To stop talking about said creepy murderer.