thisavrou | [voice]

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[voice]

[Ryuuzaki's low voice is accented in a way that people from places other than the U.K. might think of as "generically English," and when the message begins, his tones are pleasant and measured without being effusive.]

Hello, everyone.

The Ingress has brought us to the Moira from any number of places. When I meet someone, I can't say whether our similarities will outweigh our differences, or vice-versa... when you're this far from home, even small commonalities can seem important. It's led me to be curious about the broad strokes of everyone's backgrounds.

[A pause, as he approaches his real question.]

What can you tell me about the government in the place you came from before this? Both the form of government and, if possible, specific names of leaders.

If it wasn't your original home, I'd be interested in hearing about that, too, even down to what year it was for you.

If you'd prefer to answer privately, that's all right with me. I can promise you my discretion.

Thank you.

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Yes, I am! And here I thought the voice would give me away!!

[Being inorganic is great! Robots can be repaired much more easily than organic beings. Broken bones? Haha, not likely! Pain? Well...Mettaton kind of dug it in small doses!! It's the thrill of ratings-spiking violence that keeps him going!

As for the other question...Mettaton pauses, considering if he cares to protest against answering it. Mmm...nah, not really. If he's over it, this fine gentleman can't bother him with any judgments!]

Ohhh, it wasn't voluntary, dear. Their participation was mandatory!!

[The voice might have given it away, and yet... two and a half years of meeting all sorts of people means it's better not to make that kind of immediate assumption.]

So you wanted Frisk to appear on your show? Why?

Mm, that's a good question!! Here's a better one before I continue; why are you so curious to know? We've strayed far and away from the initial topic of governments.

[The subtext is clear; What's your angle, buddy?]

Oh, I'm just naturally curious.

[That's somewhat true, especially in cases where he's being given little enough of the story for it to be confusing, but he's also willing to let people keep talking if they seem to want to and if it will lead to more information.]

Also, it's very different from my own past experiences. I've never had the chance to talk to a celebrity before!

[ :) !]

[Hmm...Mettaton isn't fully satisfied with the answer. He feels there's some insincerity there, but then again, maybe this guy was legitimately curious about the workings of his show!!

The robot could hardly fault the fellow, he was pretty interesting. And his shows? Even more so!]

Ohoho! What a lovely little flatterer you are!! [A brief metallic chuckle escapes him.] Anyway, I was paying my creator a favor!! She wanted to be closer to the human, so I made it easier. You see, I'm a wonderful actor, so all I had to do was play the part of a killer robot and allow Dr. Alphys to save Frisk from all the "dangers" I was putting them in!

A fun little game for a while, I admit!!

[I wonder, he thinks. Very likely, Frisk wouldn't have found it fun.]

I suppose there was a reason for this charade.

Also, was Dr. Alphys employed by the King?

[He wouldn't be surprised, if she'd created the only celebrity in the kingdom. But he could be wrong.]

[Well, maybe not at the time!! But they warmed up to it. He'd swear it!!

Ryuuzaki might be interested to find that Alphys hadn't initially created a "celebrity" at all. But he'd have to do a little more snooping for that.]

How astute of you! Yes indeed, Dr. Alphys was the Royal Scientist!! And yes, there was, as I said, her desire to be close to the human, which led to her fabricating the entire affair. I made the plan work, but it was her idea to be the hero in this little charade. I don't blame her for finding the child to be very intriguing though, humans have a tendency to be quite interesting!! So, you know. I went along with it for a little while!!

I suppose it was for the better I did. Dear Alphys made a lovely friend out of the situation.

[And...Mettaton was not referring to himself. He wasn't really a good friend.]

Did Frisk ever find out what really happened? They must be very forgiving.

[He's beginning to get the impression, from other things he's seen, that Toriel probably hadn't liked this situation at all.]

You mentioned cooking earlier. What sort of things did you make?

[The less Toriel knew of the actual situation, the better for everyone, since attempted murder might not have come off too well.]

Frisk knows! I told them all about Alphys was doing right before I attempted to take their soul!

[He pauses, realizing that sounded a little...cold on his part. Oh well, it's not as if there wasn't resolution between him and the small human at this point. He's not an actual child murderer!]

Clearly I was unsuccessful. For the better, I say!! The human turned out far more capable than I gave them credit for!! Oh but anyway, cooking's a much more interesting subject! I've made cake before, among other things!

[Oh, all of the rest of that is being set aside for the moment: take their soul? Instead, he focuses on something else, pretending his interest lies there.]

What kind of cake?

[He's careful to sound enthusiastic, but it's not hard to fake.]

Oh, any really! I made a good joke of whipping up a cake with human soul baked in it for that whole acting to-do, but I also excel at chocolate cake!!

[He's still learning what other flavors suit the human palate, since apparently only a select few enjoyed snails just as much as the next monster.]

Are you fond of such things? [The enthusiasm doesn't go unnoticed.] I find that many humans do enjoy indulging in sweets, so I must put in more effort into mastering more recipes if I plan to carry on with a cooking show!!

Yes.

[It's not something he can hide; anyone who sees him around for long enough and takes note of him will probably figure it out sooner rather than later.]

Chocolate is good.

What's the significance of a human soul cake? Merely a joke? Or is that kind of thing achievable?

It's more of a joke than anything. Monsters don't generally attempt to absorb human souls. I'm fairly certain making human soul cake is achievable if someone tried hard enough though. It's just a scientific endeavor for which I have little interest, darling.

[This is an interesting conversation, but because Mettaton feels in charge of all the information, he's having quite a good time chatting Ryuuzaki up.]

[Mettaton is in charge of all the information, and it's L's experience that vain people like to talk about themselves, whether or not they're organic. But the subjects under discussion are also far enough outside of his experience to be interesting in their own right.]

Is it feasible for a monster to absorb a human soul, even if it's not typically done?

It's too bad you're not particularly interested in the idea of human soul cake. It's terrible to contemplate, and I wouldn't want to see someone making one. But I can't help but be curious about what would happen if a human were to eat one.

Hmm, well. It is possible!! History states that monsters are capable of absorbing a human's soul, if only because unlike our own, a human's soul will persist after death!! The result would be, and I quote, "a horrible beast with unfathomable power." It all sounds ghastly to me, I'd rather not imagine the result, or even the circumstance which would bring it about!

[He's being a bit of a hypocrite, because hadn't he wanted a human soul specifically to leave the Underground? What, then, would he have had to do with it to cross the barrier? But no, Mettaton prefers to ignore that detail. Anyway, this human is lucky he has a good memory for all this. Mettaton really doesn't put much effort into memorizing things he doesn't care for. However, since he's a robot, he has the ability to store such information for later reference.]

Why are you so interested? There's no reason to think a human would cannibalize the soul of it's own kind!! Lending thought to such an awful thing...it's better to joke about a cake with human soul inside it than think too hard!!

That's probably true... it's mostly that I really wouldn't want there to be any incentive for anyone to eat my soul, let alone another human.

[And he can think of a few people who would have done it, if it had been an option, for one reason or another. Some would have wanted to hurt him or erase him; others would have wanted those things, but also to absorb his abilities if they had the slightest chance.

That's not even getting into what his soul might do to the taste of the cake.]

But the idea of monsters having done it... that's legendary, or actually historically documented?

[Mettaton is quietly thoughtful for a moment or two. Sometimes, he wondered what humans really were capable of. Although he gave them the ultimate benefit of the doubt...the truth was he hadn't been around during the war. How could he even understand their motives?

Mm, well. He didn't want to overanalyze it at any rate!]

If monsters have done it, the historic documentation of such may not be present in any way you could read it! The walls in Waterfall are full of monster history, but whether anyone transcribed it...I cannot say!!

[So Ryuuzaki is just going to have to take word of mouth.]

[His response to that is quick.]

So we'll call it legend... that's all right. There's often at least a grain of truth in a legend. What have you heard?

Call it what you like!! [He's not arguing whether monster history is steeped in legend. Obviously every culture is.] But I believe I have told you all I have heard on that subject, darling!! It's not as if there were so many humans around that we could assimilate souls willy-nilly!!

Was the human who appeared on the show the only one you'd ever met? What about the other monsters -- had the King met many, that you're aware of?

Prior to Frisk, I hadn't met any humans, no. Asgore...ah.

Yes, he's been...acquainted with at least seven humans at one time or another. More if you consider his advanced age and where it places him in history.

[Whoo boy, what an uncomfortable atmosphere!]

What do you mean?

[He sounds both genuinely confused and genuinely interested. He doesn't know anything about Asgore's advanced age, why "at least seven" humans would have any significance, or what that has to do with the monsters' history.]

Well, I told you that monsters were trapped underground, correct? We were kept there by a barrier constructed by human mages after we lost a war against humankind a very long time ago. It wasn't so bad!! We acclimated as needed, until it was decided that to break the barrier, we would collect any human souls that wandered into our midst and use their power for that purpose.

[He deliberately leaves out information. While he hadn't been fully interested in the details due to his egotistical nature, Mettaton knew enough--and had enough respect--not to talk about that which he had no personal stake in.]

Frisk would have been the seventh soul he'd captured. It just turned out differently, as luck would have it!!

[He imagines that it might have been bad for humankind, at one point, if mages had made a point of sealing the monsters in... if there had been a war to begin with. If human souls had to be collected and sacrificed to break through.]

What would have happened if he had been able to break through the barrier?

[Context is important! Context that L isn't going to get from Mettaton, unfortunately...but humans weren't the only ones who had it bad.]

His initial promise was to wage war on the humans!! But I rather think that any of the fight went out of our dear king the closer he got to his ultimate goal! He's a pretty gentle person, and I don't believe he would have done any war-waging so much as simply been happy to free his subjects!! I guess that's why he was the king!!

[Kings knew who to put first!]

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