![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}
Entry tags:
Audio; 4/1
[ooc: this is forward dated to April 1st, so newbies feel free to come back and tag in once the intro log goes up and the gates are officially open!]
------------------------
[Audio]
[It sure has been a good while since Peridot has addressed a message to the whole crew… And as it turns out, she’s not intentionally breaking that silence.
Recently, she has been fiddling with the tech built into her limb enhancers, and with her MID, in order to facilitate a proper exchange of data between the two. Synchronization. Efficiency. Music to her little space rock ears.
It’s about to bite her in the ass.
It’s just a regular afternoon like any other when the message goes up, and it’s quickly obvious that the contents were not exactly meant for the public eye.]
Log date, 855...
Since receiving a surprise delivery last month containing the completed works of the horrible, enrapturing human entertainment drivel known as “Camp Pining Hearts”, I have subjected myself to no fewer than eight watches of the series in its exhaustive entirety. Last night as of 18:00 hours SST marked the end of my most recent endeavor. And yet, still, I cannot possibly even begin to grasp how the human CLODS who wrote this cruddy dirt-heap of a story, could possibly deny the obviously SUPERIOR romantic match, that is PERCY AND PIERRE!
[She pauses briefly to collect herself, inhaling deeply.]
I could expound further upon this, but seeing as I have dedicated my last three entries to the topic, I am opting to take a different approach this time. Following the suggestion of a fellow crew member, I have been considering potential “re writes”, so to speak, of catalyst plot moments throughout the CPH saga. Corrections to the writing that actually work with the vast amounts of subtext supporting the one true romantic pairing of Percy and Pierre, which will ultimately result in the two of them dominating each other’s hearts, the camp, and eventually, the world.
[Peridot clears her throat before getting right into it.]
Potential scenario number one: Camp Clod decides to hold an intensely competitive camp-wide game of the human sport known as “capture the flag”. Rather than playing by the standard rules, this game has the campers split up into four color coded, even-numbered teams of players. Needless to say, our two main characters are both members of the yellow team, alongside several C-list extras who will serve to move some of the action of the game along in the background. The devious blue team lead by none other than the treacherous witch Paulette has already stacked the odds in their favor by planting their flag in the most diabolical, impossible to reach location in the entire camp: THE BOTTOM. OF THE LAKE.
Of course what the blue team fails to consider is that the lake is impossible to reach for all but one: Percy, with his indomitable lung capacity, volunteers to take the dive and capture the blue team’s flag, in order to secure victory for his beloved yellow team.
BUT: Conflict arises when Percy encounters trouble underwater: A trap, set by the enemy team for the purpose of protecting their flag, goes horribly awry and puts Percy in mortal danger. Even he cannot indefinitely withstand the crushing pressure of several tons of lake water. But then, just when all hope seems lost, Pierre boldly dives into the depths to rescue his imperiled teammate, pulling him back to the surface in the embrace of his powerfully muscular arms. The pair make it back to the beach, BUT! Percy is still not breathing. There’s only one thing for Pierre to do: He must perform the CPR--
[She’s distracted mid-tirade by a beeping sound from her MID. That’s when she notices that it has been recording and broadcasting literally everything she’s been saying to the entire damn ship.
A horrible strangled yowl erupts, and then the message cutes off.]
---------------------
[VIDEO, several hours later]
[When Peridot comes back, she looks disturbingly blank faced, but there’s a horrible fire burning just behind her eyes as she stares into the tiny wrist-mounted camera. After a moment she speaks:]
If any of you dare to mention ANYTHING. About what you may or may not have heard earlier. I’ll... I'll... Nnngaahhh, I DON’T KNOW WHAT I’LL DO EXACTLY, BUT I PROMISE, I WILL MAKE YOU REGRET IT!!! PERIDOT, OUT!
------------------------
[Audio]
[It sure has been a good while since Peridot has addressed a message to the whole crew… And as it turns out, she’s not intentionally breaking that silence.
Recently, she has been fiddling with the tech built into her limb enhancers, and with her MID, in order to facilitate a proper exchange of data between the two. Synchronization. Efficiency. Music to her little space rock ears.
It’s about to bite her in the ass.
It’s just a regular afternoon like any other when the message goes up, and it’s quickly obvious that the contents were not exactly meant for the public eye.]
Log date, 855...
Since receiving a surprise delivery last month containing the completed works of the horrible, enrapturing human entertainment drivel known as “Camp Pining Hearts”, I have subjected myself to no fewer than eight watches of the series in its exhaustive entirety. Last night as of 18:00 hours SST marked the end of my most recent endeavor. And yet, still, I cannot possibly even begin to grasp how the human CLODS who wrote this cruddy dirt-heap of a story, could possibly deny the obviously SUPERIOR romantic match, that is PERCY AND PIERRE!
[She pauses briefly to collect herself, inhaling deeply.]
I could expound further upon this, but seeing as I have dedicated my last three entries to the topic, I am opting to take a different approach this time. Following the suggestion of a fellow crew member, I have been considering potential “re writes”, so to speak, of catalyst plot moments throughout the CPH saga. Corrections to the writing that actually work with the vast amounts of subtext supporting the one true romantic pairing of Percy and Pierre, which will ultimately result in the two of them dominating each other’s hearts, the camp, and eventually, the world.
[Peridot clears her throat before getting right into it.]
Potential scenario number one: Camp Clod decides to hold an intensely competitive camp-wide game of the human sport known as “capture the flag”. Rather than playing by the standard rules, this game has the campers split up into four color coded, even-numbered teams of players. Needless to say, our two main characters are both members of the yellow team, alongside several C-list extras who will serve to move some of the action of the game along in the background. The devious blue team lead by none other than the treacherous witch Paulette has already stacked the odds in their favor by planting their flag in the most diabolical, impossible to reach location in the entire camp: THE BOTTOM. OF THE LAKE.
Of course what the blue team fails to consider is that the lake is impossible to reach for all but one: Percy, with his indomitable lung capacity, volunteers to take the dive and capture the blue team’s flag, in order to secure victory for his beloved yellow team.
BUT: Conflict arises when Percy encounters trouble underwater: A trap, set by the enemy team for the purpose of protecting their flag, goes horribly awry and puts Percy in mortal danger. Even he cannot indefinitely withstand the crushing pressure of several tons of lake water. But then, just when all hope seems lost, Pierre boldly dives into the depths to rescue his imperiled teammate, pulling him back to the surface in the embrace of his powerfully muscular arms. The pair make it back to the beach, BUT! Percy is still not breathing. There’s only one thing for Pierre to do: He must perform the CPR--
[She’s distracted mid-tirade by a beeping sound from her MID. That’s when she notices that it has been recording and broadcasting literally everything she’s been saying to the entire damn ship.
A horrible strangled yowl erupts, and then the message cutes off.]
---------------------
[VIDEO, several hours later]
[When Peridot comes back, she looks disturbingly blank faced, but there’s a horrible fire burning just behind her eyes as she stares into the tiny wrist-mounted camera. After a moment she speaks:]
If any of you dare to mention ANYTHING. About what you may or may not have heard earlier. I’ll... I'll... Nnngaahhh, I DON’T KNOW WHAT I’LL DO EXACTLY, BUT I PROMISE, I WILL MAKE YOU REGRET IT!!! PERIDOT, OUT!
no subject
... I want to see this human entertainment.
no subject
[You are slowly killing her with embarrassment Jasper WHAT KIND OF BODY GUARD EVEN ARE YOU.]
no subject
no subject
Right.
I mean, I suppose I could show it to you... I'm just not quite sure that it's something that you would actually find interesting. But. If you really want to...
[God she's already getting anxious just thinking about this scenario.]
no subject
no subject
You don't just choose to witness part of CPH. It's meant to be experienced as a whole.
no subject
no subject
no subject
How long is it?
no subject
no subject
no subject
no subject
no subject
no subject
Okay. Fine. I'll watch it with you.
no subject
THIS IS ALL GOING HORRIBLY WRONG.]
Oh. Well. [Blink.] Good. We will have to set a date at some point for this activity, one that will not interfere with either of our set duties.
….
Not like, a human style romantic date, of course! Just, a scheduled period of time on a day, that happens to work for both of us!
[SWEATING]
no subject
What exactly is a "human style" "romantic" "date"?
no subject
Please don't make me explain. Luckily for you, you'll learn what it is when we watch the show. It can be... educational, in that regard.
no subject
Hm. Alright. I suppose it couldn't hurt to know more about them.
no subject
no subject
no subject
Peridot blushes fiercely and clears her throat awkwardly, trying to reclaim her composure.]
I mean, it helps facilitate better cooperation between myself and other crew members. Increases productivity, but-- Anyway yes. We can work all of that out some other time then. For now I-I should be getting back to work. Um. Peridot out!
[And she hangs up. Sorry Jasper.]