text

[forwardmomentum]

Personnel Officer Miles Vorkosigan here. Due to the recent influx of new crewmembers onto the Moira, my job has gotten far busier and more complex by about a factor of ten. Not that I mind putting a few extra hours in, but this is no longer a one-man job, let alone for a man with two jobs. So, with that in mind, there are two new Personnel Officer postings available for any who might be interested in assisting with the workload. If you've got a knack for paperwork and find desk jockeying an appealing career opportunity, I'd be glad to have you on board. At any rate, anyone who's interested in the job should take a look at the posting and get in touch with the captains.

And there's one other matter: it seems that last month I received yet another mystery package from the postal Russian roulette that is the Ingress and, unsurprisingly, it does not belong to me.

[ attached is an image of a crate full of assorted shoes. ]

But I have a sneaking suspicion some of these belong to someone -- many someones -- on the ship. In fact, I'd bet you Betan dollars that more than a few of you will find something that belongs to you in that crate. It's in the cargo bay if you want to have a look. Vorkosigan out.

The crate contains:
Ratchet's gravity boots
A previous 616 Bucky's combat boots
Fennel's boots
Eily's pretty shoes
The 10th Doctor's gym shoes
Elizabeth Dewitt's shoes
Bel Thorne's gray boots
Clare's slip-resistant sensible shoes
Breq's shoes
Steve Rogers' boots ( x2)
The Courier's boots
Lara Croft's boots
Napoleon Solo's shoes
Cyrus' shoes
Medusalith's shoes
Papyrus' sneakers
Dutch Velders' boots
Cordelia's shoes
Crona & Ragnarok's nightengale boots
Trish Walker's shoes
Scott Lang's shoes
Peter Maximoff's sneakers
Beast Boy's shoes
Joseph Joestar's shoes
Leonard Snart's combat boots
Maya's left high heel and right boot
Edward Elric's boots

Comments

[forwardmomentum]

Good God, no. There isn't even a child to hurt, at that point -- just a few cells. There's DNA in every cell, right? All of this happens before the child is even properly conceived. Pretty boy from Barrayar, eh? that sounds like Ivan Vorpatril to me. You've just met my cousin, he's a bit of a -- he offered to what?

[takeitslow]

Offered to shoot me. [He smiles brightly. This is a much better conversation than to continue talking about gene cleansing and risk getting riled up again.] I'd actually kind of forgotten about it. I should call him out on that.

[forwardmomentum]

Why?

[takeitslow]

Why do I want to talk to him or why does he want to shoot me?

[forwardmomentum]

Both?

[takeitslow]

Well, I have to talk to him so I know if he still wants to. And he wants to shoot me so we can see if I can out run it. It's, like, science.

[forwardmomentum]

You want to see if you can outrun a stunner blast.

Please tell me you have some kind of superpower and that this is a lesser act of massive stupidity on all parties.

[takeitslow]

I can't promise we're not being stupid. [Because they are.] But I do actually have powers. Speed related ones. So, you know, this is not as stupid as it could be.

[forwardmomentum]

[ AT LEAST PETER IS BEING HONEST ABOUT IT god he's so going to harass ivan about this later. and ivan thinks miles does stupid shit. ]

Well, I guess that counts for something.

What are you going to do if you lose that bet?

[takeitslow]

[He is always honest about how stupid he is. It's his only good trait.]

But I'm not going to loose. So nothing. Cause I'm going to outrun it, no problem.

[forwardmomentum]

Humor me.

[takeitslow]

Fine. [The quickest of eyerolls.] Get to the medbay I guess. What else would I do if I was shot with that thing?