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[forwardmomentum]

Personnel Officer Miles Vorkosigan here. Due to the recent influx of new crewmembers onto the Moira, my job has gotten far busier and more complex by about a factor of ten. Not that I mind putting a few extra hours in, but this is no longer a one-man job, let alone for a man with two jobs. So, with that in mind, there are two new Personnel Officer postings available for any who might be interested in assisting with the workload. If you've got a knack for paperwork and find desk jockeying an appealing career opportunity, I'd be glad to have you on board. At any rate, anyone who's interested in the job should take a look at the posting and get in touch with the captains.

And there's one other matter: it seems that last month I received yet another mystery package from the postal Russian roulette that is the Ingress and, unsurprisingly, it does not belong to me.

[ attached is an image of a crate full of assorted shoes. ]

But I have a sneaking suspicion some of these belong to someone -- many someones -- on the ship. In fact, I'd bet you Betan dollars that more than a few of you will find something that belongs to you in that crate. It's in the cargo bay if you want to have a look. Vorkosigan out.

The crate contains:
Ratchet's gravity boots
A previous 616 Bucky's combat boots
Fennel's boots
Eily's pretty shoes
The 10th Doctor's gym shoes
Elizabeth Dewitt's shoes
Bel Thorne's gray boots
Clare's slip-resistant sensible shoes
Breq's shoes
Steve Rogers' boots ( x2)
The Courier's boots
Lara Croft's boots
Napoleon Solo's shoes
Cyrus' shoes
Medusalith's shoes
Papyrus' sneakers
Dutch Velders' boots
Cordelia's shoes
Crona & Ragnarok's nightengale boots
Trish Walker's shoes
Scott Lang's shoes
Peter Maximoff's sneakers
Beast Boy's shoes
Joseph Joestar's shoes
Leonard Snart's combat boots
Maya's left high heel and right boot
Edward Elric's boots

Comments

[ersatzeverything]

Yeah, some of those are mine.

[No they aren't, Deacon's just a compulsive liar.

And also he'll definitely take any unclaimed shoes that are even close to fitting. You can never have too many shoes. Getting the right kind of shoes for an outfit is all part of assembling a good disguise.]

[forwardmomentum]

[ miles cross-checks the name with his memory -- he's read deacon's personnel file, or at least skimmed it. recently enough to know that deacon is one of the new arrivals. funny thing about trying to trick the personnel officer who used to work in covert ops, pal... ]

Deacon, isn't it? Interesting that some of your belongings should show up here before you did, considering this shipment arrived last month. Perhaps you can tell me which shoes are yours, so I can check them against my manifest? Your shoe size too, please. I'd hate for there to be any discrepancies. The devil is in the details, after all.

[ersatzeverything]

[Oh man, busted. He has to give it one last try to keep the lie going though.]

Deacon, yeah. Shoe size 9. Or 9 1/2. Or 10. Maybe as high as 11. It's the post-apocalypse, I'm not picky. If it's too big you stick some rags in the toe and you're good to go.

And hey, the Ingress is weird, right? Who knows why it does the crap it does. Maybe it was nabbing my shoes for weeks before it got a hold of me? That would totally explain why they went missing. And while we're talking about it, has the Ingress spat out a bunch of mismatched socks recently, too? Every time I get a pair of socks it's like a month later suddenly I only have one and no idea where the other one went.

[forwardmomentum]

[ caught in a lie, and keeps on going. miles has to admit, he can appreciate deacon's finesse a little. what was gregor's favorite tactic again? ah, yes. the good old 'give them enough rope to hang themselves with' trick. ]

So, which are your shoes again? Describe them, please -- and spare me no detail. I'll hand deliver them to your cabin myself to ensure their safe transfer.

[ersatzeverything]

Sure. Black boots, pretty scuffed up, seen a lot of wear and tear. [That's a safe enough detail. He knows he saw some black boots in that image, and there's probably at least one pair that's battered.] And dirty white sneakers.

[forwardmomentum]

Got it. I'll be sure to locate them for you, Crewman.

[ the next day deacon receives a hand-written note in his inbox:

I'm afraid we're all out of scuffed up black boots and dirty white sneakers, but if your wardrobe is suffering from any critical gaps, I suggest you contact the ship's tailor, Harry Hart, for all your sartorial needs.

Miles Vorkosigan, Personnel Officer ]