[Video] Friends help friends get a social life they don't want

[daintylegs]

[It’s really nice to be on the network for a happy reason for once. Not that he has a lot of previous experience to draw from, seeing as he’s only ever posted there a grand total of one time. Or was it two? He could go back to check, but the amount of effort that will take is far too much for one marshmallow to handle. He’s pretty sure it’s one though.]

Hello everyone!

[He starts off with his usual good cheer.]

My name is Tailgate and I’d like all of you to meet my best friend and roommate, Cyclonus! He’s your resident Evacuation Specialist, so you can bet you can rely on him if things go wrong! He’s really cool and super into gazing out windows, swords, and warrior stuff. Y’know, just in case someone out there is into that too. Hint hint.

Anyway, Cyclonus, say hi!

[Tailgate’s face is very cute and nonthreatening, indeed he practically radiates “I will befriend anyone even if it kills me”. Cyclonus’s face happens to be the complete opposite of that. It’s a very jarring contrast.]

[Cyclonus is too cool for words. He just looks at the camera and nods acknowledgingly before looking away again.]

As you can see, he’s a real talker. But don’t let that discourage you from trying anyway!

[Tailgate turns the camera back to himself.]

Since I like to, uh, what’s the human saying for it? Kiss two birds with one stone? I’d like to take this opportunity to ask if anyone knows anything about gardening. I tried it recently and ended up killing a thing or two. My basic understanding of the universe says that this is the wrong thing to do, so advice would be appreciate. For the both of us.

Thank you!

Comments

audio;

[redshitlord]

Tell Grape Drift I want my sword back.

Oh, also? His face looks like a pirate flag. But less cool.

audio;

[daintylegs]

I honestly don't know what a grape is.

Also why would Cyclonus steal your sword? He's got a bigger and better one of his own!

audio;

[redshitlord]

It's a purple thing! And it turns into a nasty, shriveled thing if you leave it out in the sun.

I don't know! Ask him! He took it from me when I showed up.

video;

[isdronning]

I believe the term is actually "kill two birds with one stone."

[ Elsa offers a friendly smile along with her correction to show that she's not judging his incorrect usage, simply informing him of the correct words. These large robot creatures are still so strange and foreign to her, but none of them have come across as bad from what she's seen, so she figures she'll give talking to another one a shot. ]

It's nice to meet you, Tailgate. And Cyclonus. [ If he's really paying attention. ] I'm Elsa. I'm afraid I don't know much about gardening, so I can't offer you much help there... Is it your assigned job and that's why you're asking? Or are you merely curious?

video;

[daintylegs]

Hi Elsa! And I'm just curious. My actual job is in the cargo bay and I don't mind it there. Might be because it's one of the few places we can go on the ship that's big enough for us.

[Tailgate turns away from his device for a moment and a distant "Cyclonus, she seems nice! You should say hi!" Can be heard before he turns back to her.]

Anyway, I really want to try out this gardening business, but it's sort of discouraging when you accidentally hurt something just by touching it.

video;

[isdronning]

Oh, I see.

[ She was actually unaware of the robots taking up jobs in the cargo bay due to their size. But she supposes it makes sense, if they really do have trouble fitting anywhere else.

When Tailgate glances away from the camera and she can hear him speaking to his off-camera friend, a small smile crosses her lips. He seems sweet, and it's rather endearing to her. ]

I'm familiar with the feeling. [ Considering she's frozen plants just by touching them... ] Perhaps you don't need help so much with the gardening itself, but with learning to be more careful and gentle in your actions? I imagine it's difficult, particularly with plants, given how sensitive and delicate they are, to be careful enough with them given your size.

video;

[tsunclonus]

Hello.

[Happy now Tailgate? He is wrapped around thosr little white fingers so bad.]

video;

[isdronning]

Hello.

[ She repeats it pleasantly, but the awkwardness hangs very heavily in the air. Her smile wavers a little, but she's not about to give up. ]

I apologize if I've bothered you--I know what it's like to be forced into conversations by people more...outgoing than yourself.

[ersatzeverything]

Hey, Cyclonus, yeah I can see you're a real chatterbox.

And yeah, I know about gardening. The first step is you put the root ends in the ground. Or the seed, if you're starting with basics.

[daintylegs]

And then you bury them right? The plant?

[Meaning the whole plant. Tailgate's understanding of green organic things is fairly nonexistent.]

[ersatzeverything]

[Oh boy. And here he thought he was being smartassy with his comment. But the basics are actually totally needed here.]

Uh, you bury the roots, not the rest of the plant. And when you bury it, you don't want to pack the soil down too hard, just lightly compress it.

[vengeance_driven]

My English isn't so good. Are you sure that is what you are meant to do with one stone?

Anyway, tell him I say hi. I bet when he has a sword, it is scary as hell. Nine of me tall.

Also when I was young I was a farmer. But I did not keep pretty gardens, I just made food grow.

[daintylegs]

I don't know. I mean, human sayings can get a little weird sometimes, but probably because we don't have a lot of context for them. I think you can only learn so much from movies, that's something my friend Rewind said once.

Oh and Cyclonus can be really scary! You should see him fight, it's really great. He's not so scary when he doesn't fight though.

[vengeance_driven]

I guess a lot of human sayings in other languages are strange too. Serbians have sayings, too. Like my people have the saying, "Trust yourself and your horse!" It means to not just trust anyone.

I probably should listen to it more, but I have enough problems without distrusting everyone.

That sounds pretty neat, actually. I hope he does not have to use it here. But with that sword, if someone needs to break things here without using fire it seems like he could do good at it.

[warandpeace]

[Miller is a little torn here. Despite himself, the robots are unnerving. It's not their fault, he knows they're their own people, but when you know of psychopaths making walking weapons out of them to try and dominate the world.]

[But that robot looks like it's in Samurai armor. And Miller likes Samurai.]

...What kind of sword?

[He guesses that gazing out of windows is some sort of universal warrior law.]

Video;

[tsunclonus]

[Well here's a response that actually piques Cyclonus's interest.

Pulling his sword from its place on his back, he pans the camera lovingly over its length.]

My blade of choice, a Great Sword.

Re: Video;

[warandpeace]

[That's a big sword.]

[Sahelanthropus had a sword that could double as a whip, but being that the robot depended entirely on a pilot and one that was rather young it wielded it like a club that it aimed at the target.]

Is there any sort of discipline on your planet for warriors? Code of honor, martial arts styles?

[The thought behind wielding a weapon makes all the difference.]

video

[knaval]

[riptide completely ignores the parts about cyclonus. he knows it's what cyclonus would want.]

I think you gotta water the green stuff. I think that means you gotta grow 'em under water?

Re: video

[daintylegs]

That would make sense I guess.

[Even though the gardens were completely unflooded, Tailgate can't help but accept the logic behind Riptide's comment.]

Have you been in the gardens before Riptide? It's really pretty.

voice;

[kidjoy]

[The initial response to this is just an awed and whispered 'giant robots' followed by a quiet squeal. It takes her several minutes to come back with real words.]

You're a robot! [So much for a real conversation. At least the child sounds excited?]

Re: voice;

[daintylegs]

Not really.

[Tailgate replies, very gently correcting her.]

We're Cybertronians! Calling us a robot implies that we're not real people. Everyone calls us that though, so I guess it's not too much of a big deal.

audio;

[longshadow]

[ what the fuck is wrong with the constructs in this place ]

What were you trying to grow?

[ He sounds mildly perturbed. ]

audio;

[daintylegs]

...

A plant?

[Frankly you should be impressed that he even knows that word.]

[lets_see_what_happens]

If you need gardening advice, I'd recommend talking directly to Rosethorn--she works in the gardens here and has an uncanny knack for plants.

[daintylegs]

Oh! I like that name a lot. I'll bother her over it sometime, thanks!