March 9: you know what they say about drinking and texting

[neveroutwrenched]

i have some questions. for you guys, the crew. us.

mostly about the ingress because i think its bullshit that no one has any idea how to fix it. or how it works. lots of worlds have technology like the ingress. on the greater cosmic scale, in the MULTIVERSE, it's not even all that rare

so

nowait

i mean, anyway. this is a different question. does anyone know why we haven't utilized
a) any of the ingresses (ingress...i?) on any of the planets weve landed on to get home
b) any of the people on those planet because you HAVE to assume someone knows how to work/repair/etcetc

why havent we scrutinized or been given an actual answer for anything that's happened on this ship? creepy skeleton monster? that KILLED PEOPLE. lying to us about caducus-primary. stealing from caducus-primary. dont get me started on the lack of actual consequence to that.

i know its different in everyone's worlds, but where I'm from, being in charge doesnt make you except from responsibility for your actions. or at least it's not supposed to. unless you have

a lot of money or are a celebrity or something

Comments

[neveroutwrenched]

Ah. Oh. [Ratchet frowns down at the empty glass, looking visibly disappointed. That was typical.]

Well, I...it's okay. [He reaches across the counter for the full bottle, carefully refilling the empty tumbler.]

Here. That's for you. [He slides the overfull drink closer to Papyrus, a final nudge making it splash over the rim. Satisfied that things had been righted, he takes a drink directly from the bottle. He didn't need a glass anyway.]

[coolskeletonnyehntyfive]

Why... thank you!!

[Papyrus glances down as some of the drink sloshes over the rim and onto his fingerbones.

Yep, Ratchet's wasted all right. He wonders if the Lombax would protest being carried off to bed, since that's basically how he handles this situation when it's Sans.

He sticks his fingers in his mouth and immediately wishes he hadn't. He's had alcohol before, but he never fully understood the appeal. It tastes like cleaner and keeps you from being your very best. What's to like?]

You know, you seem very upset tonight. Did something happen?

[neveroutwrenched]

No.

[A lie. A sick feeling in his stomach.]

Maybe.

[Better. Maybe lying wasn't working anymore. Maybe he just didn't want to lie to Papyrus, especially not after the skeleton had been honest with him about Sans, and Chara when he didn't have to be.

He looks down, his hand around the neck of the bottle so tight it's painful.]

We haven't really known each other very long, Papyrus.....would you say I'm a good person? I mean. Seem like a good person?

[coolskeletonnyehntyfive]

[The easy answer was simple enough, and Papyrus nearly went straight for it. But he had an instinct for these things; Ratchet was hurting and there was something he needed to get off his chest.

He toyed a bit with the glass in front of him, but made no move to drink from it. It was just a distraction while he gave Ratchet's question a bit more thought.]

You seem like a very serious person with a lot on your mind, and you like to get to the bottom of things! And I believe the things you say and do come from a place of caring.

[neveroutwrenched]

[Ratchet takes a shaky breath, unable to look back over at Papyrus.]

But coming from a good place doesn't actually make what you do good. Right?

[He's not really asking. Ask far as he's concerned Papyrus' response was the answer to that question.]

I...um. I- [He didn't know how to talk about this. About what was wrong. He'd gotten so good at not talking about it, that trying felt like twisting a knife in his chest. He puts an elbow on the counter, letting his head fall against his palm.] I...think I screwed up. Like, really bad.

[coolskeletonnyehntyfive]

[Confiding in him this much? Either Ratchet really trusted him, or he was super drunk. Papyrus chose to believe the former.]

What happened? You can tell me; you'll find that besides being a very great friend, I'm also quite the listener!

[neveroutwrenched]

[He gives Papyrus a long look; as far gone as he is, there's still a deeply ingrained avoidance of talking about what he was about to talk about. It was easier not to bring it up at all, because he didn't have to face the inevitable fallout of he expects people to react.]

Look.

[Ratchet lets his left hand fall on the counter between them, a device similar to the MID on his other wrist making an audible thunk. Despite showing considerably more wear, it's bigger and sturdier looking than the Moira issued device. Unlike the one they shared, the screen on this one is dark, permanently powered down.]

I was...on a different ship before coming here. It was the same idea. Lots of people from different universes, dragged in from their own worlds to make some...I dunno, a makeshift crew.

[He keeps his eyes on the cuff, not wanting to look up at Papyrus.]

But it was different. Voluntary. They came to our world, asked us to help, and we signed a contract.

[coolskeletonnyehntyfive]

[Papyrus leans in for a closer look at the device. He doesn't recognize it at all beyond the obvious -- it's junked, and he'd need someone super smart like Sans or their oddball Royal Scientist to get it up and running again.

He turns Ratchet's arm this way and that if allowed, examining the strange object as he speaks.]

I see! And you came forward, volunteered your time, and helped people? I don't see how that doesn't make you great, Ratchet!

[neveroutwrenched]

[Ratchet lets Papyrus look at the cuff. It's harmless deactivated, but it's hard to forget how dangerous it had once been. When active it put the wearer's entire life in the CDC's hands. The fact that Ratchet was still wearing it, even months later, was testament to how much respect he had for that power.

Not respect, fear.]

I...no. I mean yes but only because they lied to us. Or at least to me. Sort of. They said whatever it took to get us to agree to help them. For some people that was honesty or...or blackmail, or threats, or promises. Whatever it took.

[He pulls his hand back, looking even more uncomfortable than when he'd started. Papyrus isn't wrong. It's really the worst part; the CDC could lie, or lie by omission or twist the words in your mouth but you still had to say yes for them to have you.]

But in the end the contracts were all the same. We helped them destroy planets, and in exchange, they left ours alone.

[coolskeletonnyehntyfive]

[Monsters as a species were extremely diverse. They came in all forms, shapes, sizes, colors, and even between the brothers there were worlds of differences.

Which was partly why they were so good at divining what was in a soul. The appearance of the person in front of them was far less important than the contents of their being. Papyrus himself tended to just assume greatness and kindness in those around him, but as the conversation shifted to something much darker, he decided to go for a real read on Ratchet.

The anger is immense. The pain even more so. And what he's saying gives him even more to think about. Other worlds -- other lives, each one just as precious and important to those who knew them as Ratchet's loved ones were to him -- in exchange for his own.

God.

No wonder he was here, drinking too much and arguing on the MID and spilling his guts.]

And you're angry about it. That you were deceived, that you had no choice but to hurt others.

[Papyrus is smiling at him still, but it's softer now.

It's focused and kind, instead of just blindly sunny as always.]

Even if you were forced to do all those violences, you did them because your own friends and family hung in the balance, correct? Not because... you were afraid, or you hated them, or you didn't care one way or the other and only wanted to know what comes next.

And the fact that it's still hurting you, even though it's a terrible thing I wish I could take away from you, says everything about the sort of person you really are.

[neveroutwrenched]

Not...not everything.

[Papyrus' words are almost comforting, as far as Ratchet will allow them to be. He doesn't want to be relieved but he can't help but be a little bit. He looks over at the skeleton, the smile is kind and Ratchet flinches away from it, turning just a little so he doesn't have to face the brunt of it.

He's leaving things off. Leaving off the part where he didn't just go along with it like he was supposed to. That he argued, and insulted, and dodged orders, and committed acts of blatant disregard for what everyone had at stake. He got so caught up in not having his hand forced that he was practically doing their work for them.

He stares fixedly at a spot on the countertop, noticing that it already looked more dented and worn in just the few months since they'd begun their journey.]

Our contracts were one planet. One planet in exchange for however many they wanted us to help them wipe out. So I, made a deal. If you even wanna call it that. [His tone takes on a flat bitterness.] I asked for more collateral. A lot more.

[Two galaxies worth, if he was being exact.]

It was never a good idea. I don't think I ever even thought so. I was just...desperate. To make it make sense? The weight of what we were doing versus...what we were protecting. How was I supposed to protect one planet, knowing they were out there, and could destroy the next one over whenever, whenever they wanted?

[Ratchet pauses, struggling to keep his voice even. He pulls the forgotten bottle closer, shoulders slumping in a resignation of things that he couldn't take back.]

I think part of me also just wanted to shove it in their faces that I wasn't afraid of them.

[coolskeletonnyehntyfive]

[This is one complicated problem, and Papyrus can't help feeling like he's not getting the full story. He knows there are plenty of strong beings out there, but the idea of someone having the power to repeatedly take out entire planets is difficult to wrap his mind around.]

I think it makes sense to want to protect the things that matter to you! Even if it's... costly.

[He reaches up, his fingerbones brushing against his neck. He doesn't seem to realize he's doing it.]

But, Ratchet. One thing still doesn't make sense to me. Why would anyone want to destroy entire worlds in the first place? Especially ones that were still being used by people?

[neveroutwrenched]

Because. [Ratchet pauses, allowing his own bitterness to dig in a little deeper.] The universe is full of shitty people who don't care about anything or anyone but themselves.

[That was harsh. He can't quite bring himself to take it back, but he can at least elaborate. Tilting his head down he resists taking another drink.]

I never...we never knew. They didn't tell us. Money? Territory? Just because they could?

[He'd spent more time and energy and sleepless nights speculating over that than almost anything else. All except one thing.]

I need to be clear, Papyrus. I wasn't protecting anyone when I signed that contract. I...I put them in the line of fire. They would have been....I don't know. I don't know. [Safe? He wipes the back of his hand across his face, lowering his head further, forehead almost touching the counter top.] Being here means...it means I broke contract. I broke contract, even if it was an accident, they don't care. Everything I was trying to protect's probably already gone.

[coolskeletonnyehntyfive]

[This is all hard to take in, especially with the information being recounted by a very drunk lombax to a skeleton who wasn't there.]

I don't... think that's true. If you hadn't made the contract, couldn't they have ended up targeted anyway? Even if you didn't intend to protect them, you still did! Which is admirable in its own way!

And why would they turn around and hurt them? There's no way you'd want to hang out there or work for them after they did something like that! It's just bad business sense for them to do such a thing.

[Papyrus reaches over, attempting to ease the bottle out of his hand.]

I'm not sure if lombaxes are anything like skeletons, but it might help to drink something less... saddening. It only makes your problems loom closer, in my experience. I could get you a glass of milk, if you like!