thisavrou | If You Thought Robots Were Good At Things Then Wow Do I Have News for You [Backdated to Feb 12th]

[Some people might look at something they’re doing and realize that holy shit, this is a terrible idea and they shouldn’t be doing it. Other people are people like Riptide and Tailgate who decided to just go ahead and do it anyway. After all, what’s the worst that could happen?

The answer to that is a massive explosion that could be heard and felt throughout the Nomo deck. About five minutes later a very scorched face appears on the network. Tailgate’s visor is cracked in several places and his usually white and blue paint has now been comically blackened. He attempts to sound cheery and nonchalant for the listeners, but is faintly defeated by his staticky vocalizer.]

Heeey! So, you might have heard a little something a moment ago, and I just want everyone to know that everything is under control! There’s no need for anyone to panic!

[He says, unaware that the viewers can clearly see the total lack of a wall behind him. Alas, Riptide and Tailgate no longer have a door. Or the wall that used to belong to that door.]

He's right! It's all fine. Just a minor hiccup. Carry on!

[there's riptide waving in the background.]

Uh. [his optics visibly widen when he stops waving at the camera to actually look around.] That was-- that was already like that. When we got here. Invasion of privacy, really. Wow, is there smoke?

[he waves his hand in front of his face.]

You know what? Imagined it. Nothing there.

And if something HAD been there, as in, if we HAD been building something, then I can promise we wouldn’t have set it off on purpose. We’re not that careless. Yet somehow I don't have a bed anymore.

So, uh, everyone enjoy their day!

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

but honestly is that not self explanatory its like playing tag but with grenades not that i would know or anything because i don't do that

didnt u go five rounds with mainframe and jackpot that one time?

I remember ratchet not being happy

that was obviously my relative tiderip becuase i don't get involved in those sort of antics my friend

yeah ok but are they live grenades? or do you just chuck duds at each other and hope they don't explode?

i mean depends how much betting is involved, really but once again i do not engage in these activities

[ oh jeez riptide give it up!!! ]

i understand you're trying to safeguard your innocence but really dude no one's buying it

excuse me i am the most innocent you know what we accidentally exploded we were trying to grow flowers probably to give to you

right ok my bad
"flowers"

well protip: next time don't put gasoline in the soil

we did not use gasoline we used something else that may have been surprisingly conductive

maybe next time wait 'til we're docked on some random planet before you start your demolition gardening

okay in my defence i did not know it would explode and it was not ment to

dude seriously what were you really building
i don't want this to keep me up at night

it was a machine a machine that explodes and makes people wonder why i call it "tailgate's enigma"

alright fine keep your mysterious robot secret
i don't care

[ spoilers: he totally cares. ]

in fact i hope all your creations explode in your face

:'(

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:]

alright see ya buddy

wait is that another human meme

who the hell's been telling you about our memes?
can't we humans have anything sacred

you came back to me!!! my love!!!!!!! a scientist, actually

what can i say
you're magnetic

[ HAHA GET IT

no seriously give him like five minutes to be done laughing at his own joke ]

a scientist? well whatever tell that fucker to stop spilling all our ancestral secrets to whoever will listen
it's only fun if you don't know what we're talking about

i don't actually get it it was a sad frog man?? he never explained it :(

wow he showed you sad pepe? really?? like out of everything that's what he went with

well maybe i can explain it IF
you tell me what you were building

are there meme ranks??? oh geez you're holding me verbally hostage here alright i'll tell you it was none of your business

damn pal you're a tough customer

was it something really embarrassing
or ig more embarrassing than explosive flowers

is there anything more embarrassing than flowers? the answer is yes it was

(no subject)

kickbancaboose - 2016-03-03 21:10 (UTC) - Expand

knaval - 2016-03-03 21:33 (UTC) - Expand