If You Thought Robots Were Good At Things Then Wow Do I Have News for You [Backdated to Feb 12th]

[daintylegs]

[Some people might look at something they’re doing and realize that holy shit, this is a terrible idea and they shouldn’t be doing it. Other people are people like Riptide and Tailgate who decided to just go ahead and do it anyway. After all, what’s the worst that could happen?

The answer to that is a massive explosion that could be heard and felt throughout the Nomo deck. About five minutes later a very scorched face appears on the network. Tailgate’s visor is cracked in several places and his usually white and blue paint has now been comically blackened. He attempts to sound cheery and nonchalant for the listeners, but is faintly defeated by his staticky vocalizer.]

Heeey! So, you might have heard a little something a moment ago, and I just want everyone to know that everything is under control! There’s no need for anyone to panic!

[He says, unaware that the viewers can clearly see the total lack of a wall behind him. Alas, Riptide and Tailgate no longer have a door. Or the wall that used to belong to that door.]

He's right! It's all fine. Just a minor hiccup. Carry on!

[there's riptide waving in the background.]

Uh. [his optics visibly widen when he stops waving at the camera to actually look around.] That was-- that was already like that. When we got here. Invasion of privacy, really. Wow, is there smoke?

[he waves his hand in front of his face.]

You know what? Imagined it. Nothing there.

And if something HAD been there, as in, if we HAD been building something, then I can promise we wouldn’t have set it off on purpose. We’re not that careless. Yet somehow I don't have a bed anymore.

So, uh, everyone enjoy their day!

Comments

[warandpeace]

The hell do you think you're doing?

There's nothing I'd have to disable in the hallway? Volatile chemicals I would have to dodge?

[knaval]

No, nothing like that.



I mean, I think. Like, 90% chance. I'm not picking up any radiation, at least.

[warandpeace]

You do know if you ever managed to breach the hull, you might cause a real problem for everyone that has lungs on the floor, correct?

Any idea who's going to clean that mess up or do we gotta have a nice view into your room for a while.

[knaval]

It wasn't that strong...

[riptide awkwardly rubs at a scorch mark on his face, accidentally spreading it all over his cheek.]

[warandpeace]

Just try to keep it to the areas that contain less flammable materials and people, alright.

I hope I don't have to see a blanket hung over the wall there for more than a couple of days.

[knaval]

Blanket-- ppff. What do you think I am, some sort of... blanket using... [he trails off then shakes his head, holding up his hands.] It'll be tarp! Who uses blankets now, anyway? Tarp is the new blankets!

[warandpeace]

[This is probably why it was lucky Sahelanthropus didn't have an AI. He might have blown up motherbase trying to play with the tanks.]

Right. Well. I would still prefer walls.

[knaval]

Why, you on Nomo deck?

[warandpeace]

Yes.

Look. I'm in charge of the training simulation room. It can take incredible forces. You could probably try something in there.

Or ask the people in the armory to help you out.

[knaval]

You're saying that like this was intentional. It was not.

[riptide is trying really hard to avoid all the good points people are making about safety precautions.]

[warandpeace]

I think another word for that is "ignorant". You should go check up on what's dangerous.

[knaval]

But... I know what's dangerous! I think we just electrified something that should not have... ever been electrified.

Lessons were learned and no-one died! That's the important thing.

[warandpeace]

Just take the advice to learn lessons in safer places.

[knaval]

But what if it's a lesson I never expected to learn! That's my point!

[warandpeace]

Future lessons, then.

Anyone reporting in on when the damage will be fixed or are we going to see a tarp for a few weeks?

[knaval]

Tarp. Honestly. Repair officer is-- [his boss. his boss from his own universe.] --well, I'll get to him. Eventually.

[daintylegs]

Um? No?

It wasn't that bad!

I think.

To be completely honest, I'm not sure why it blew up so I can't say if it's volatile or not. The chemicals I used I mean. I guess it's pretty likely that they are. But. You never know.

[warandpeace]

...

[This is exactly why Metal Gears should not have AIs, he is now convinced. They're like kids. Large metallic kids.]

You know, there are a lot of books in the library discussing explosive materials. You should probably figure out which ones are a bad idea to screw with, even in a domestic setting.

[He knows what they are since he teaches people to use them to make bombs.]

[daintylegs]

We have a library?

[Wow!!! That's news to him!]

And it has books on explosives?

That's awesome!

[warandpeace]

Yes.

And how they're probably not a great idea to use in living and storage areas.

[Unless you're trying to assassinate someone but that's beside the point.]

[daintylegs]

So... you're not going to tell me not to blow stuff up?

Because that seems to be the most popular response so far.

[warandpeace]

Blow stuff up where you're allowed to blow stuff up.

[daintylegs]

That's fair!

Are you good at blowing stuff up?

[warandpeace]

I think that's a little beside the point.

[Yes he is.]