VIDEO

[tigermillionaire]

[Steven decides to make a network post, just to be sure he can settle this before it starts getting out of control. When he comes on screen he looks to be a child in ambiguous adolescence, except that he is entirely green, has curls of fuzzy moss for hair, and has plants growing all over his body in the place of any clothing. He looks a little bit disgruntled, but like he’s mostly keeping his patience.]

Hi, my name is Steven! Um...I guess I just thought I should clear some stuff up because Jasper doesn’t understand how babies are made because she’s a gem, so she thinks that I’m my mom, Rose Quartz...which I’m not, so...I mean I sort of am? But only a bit, and I don’t have her memories or anything, so you shouldn’t really call me by her name. She had to give up her physical form so I could be born so she isn’t really around anymore.

And, even if I was my mom, she wasn’t a war criminal! She was a rebel and a revolutionary and she loved everyone and stopped the gem homeworld from destroying the Earth! She was a good person and my whole family loved her, so you really shouldn’t listen to what Jasper or Peridot say about her because they’re wrong. They just think that way because the gems wanted to make Earth into a colony even if it would destroy all the life on it...it’s kind of a cultural thing? A lot of gems are just kind of like that I guess...

Um...and I’m “green now” because I was at another place before here where stuff was weird and kind of crummy...and so I don’t really look as human as I used to. It’s okay, though, don’t worry about it...I guess getting pulled between dimensions because of stuff happens a lot? Kind of scary!

Bluh. I think this was kind of a bad post...oh well. I’m happy to meet all of you guys even if this is sort of awkward, so...um...again, this is Steven, and um...have a good day!

Comments

[peridork]

I don’t understand what you mean.

[neveroutwrenched]

peridot don't you have something you should be doing?

1/3

[peridork]

What? No.

2/3

[peridork]

Not that I'm aware of anyway. You know I always do all of my duties promptly and efficiently!

3/3

[peridork]

Wait. Are you indicating that I missed a memorandum of some sort?!

[tigermillionaire]

oh well if your not busy
we shoooulllldddd
go have ice cream instead!!
or something like that anyway
it would be way better than what we're doing right now.....

[peridork]

Absolutely NOT

[tigermillionaire]

why not??

[peridork]

BECAUSE, you're the enemy, you CLOD. Besides which I refuse to put any of that weird human-made substance in my oral cavity!

[tigermillionaire]

no i'm not!!
we're crewmates now!

[neveroutwrenched]

yeah peridot we're crewmates lighten up and eat some ice cream with us

[Ratchet doesn't even know what ice cream is.]

[peridork]

[Peridot does, but that's literally only because there was some at the reception when she first joined the ship. HANDY.]

I ABSOLUTELY REFUSE TO TAKE PART IN YOUR BIZARRE ORGANIC "ICE CREAM" RITUAL

[tigermillionaire]

we could do something else!
you can pick peridot
whatever you want
as long as we do it as a TEAM

[peridork]

I want to do NOTHING. WITH EITHER OF YOU! EVER!!!!!!

[neveroutwrenched]

oh real nice attitude peridot. i thought we were friends?

[tigermillionaire]

YEAH!!

well i mean i never thought we were friends but i thought we COULD be friends so
my point stands!!

[peridork]

STOP TALKING TO ME!!!!!!!!!!