video | backdated to the third or so

[coolskeletonnyehntyfive]

[The first thing visible on the screen is eyesockets. Big, round, empty eyesockets, with the back of the skull just visible if anyone's paying attention.]

Wowie! This is even cooler than my phone at home! Look at all the buttons! And now everyone can see and hear me, regardless of where they are? Nyeh-heh-heh!

[Finally, the person on the screen pulls their arm away from their face and holds it up, tilted down slightly at a classic selfie angle.

Word has probably spread about living skeletons on the ship, and now it appears the tall one is addressing everyone.]

A-HEM!

[He doesn't have a throat to clear; he just literally said the word "ahem" really loud.]

Attention, monsters and humans and... otherwise! I, the great Papyrus, was selected to act as your new Morale Officer, and as such, I have some questions for you. Do not be intimidated! There are no wrong answers, just a really cool guy listening to everything you have to say!

[He ticks the questions off on his bony fingers.]

Firstly! If we haven't yet met, what is your name?
Secondly! Are you happy here on the ship?
Thirdly! If not, what is troubling you, and do you need a hug?
And lastly, if you said yes to the second part, what is your location. I may need a few minutes, as this place can get a little confusing, but just hang in there! I believe in you!

[A short pause as he tries to think of what else to say. This is his big debut, he should make himself seem as cool as possible so he can attract a lot of friends! Maybe he can just use some awesome radio slang and end it here? Yes, yes, of course, that's totally what cool guys do!]

This has been a very important message from the great Papyrus! Roger and out. No, wait--!

[Thinking he can erase the message and do it over, he jabs a button and turns it off.]

Comments

[warandpeace]

There are more of you.

[A statement of fact more than a question. He's already met Sans (awkwardly). He still doesn't know how to feel about this.]

[coolskeletonnyehntyfive]

There are?!

[He glances behind himself and in both directions, fully expecting to see more Papyruses.]

Oh! So you were pranking me! Nyeh-heh-heh... well, you're in luck this time, since I find pranking to be kind of lame! Only my brother likes stuff like that.

[warandpeace]

I mean the shorter and wider one. With the puns.

[This man is somehow very off-putting but mostly because Miller can't decide if he's sane or not. He is thus far assuming "no".]

That's your brother?

[coolskeletonnyehntyfive]

[Papyrus isn't crazy, just very, very sincere and naive. He grimaces and tilts his skull back in a very apt imitation of eye rolling.]

That's Sans, all right. I keep telling him his jokes are terrible, but he never listens!

[warandpeace]

They're not so bad. I thought he was a little funny.

[He's not helping discourage Sans, unfortunately.]

[Also did this skeleton just roll his eyes at him???]

[coolskeletonnyehntyfive]

[He sure did.]

Well, I'd still advise you not to encourage him! They only get worse the longer you're around him.

By the way, I don't think I caught your name.

[warandpeace]

Kazuhira Miller.

I don't know... he's actually pretty funny.

To answer your questions. No, I don't like it here. I have a lot of problems with it. And no, I don't want a hug.

[coolskeletonnyehntyfive]

[He just gives a little nyehh at that. It's too late. You've clearly fallen into Sans's trap.]

I see, I see. But what is it you don't like about living here?

[warandpeace]

[May the angels in heaven weep for them all. Miller is going to do nothing to discourage the puns.]

I don't like living in a place I have not choice to be in. Pretty simple.

[coolskeletonnyehntyfive]

I suppose that makes sense! I, too, lived in a place where I didn't choose to be and couldn't escape from! At least, not until I found myself here.

But at least you have the opportunity here to meet lots of cool skeletons and go on adventures! With or without the aforementioned skeletons.

[warandpeace]

I'm not sure how many more adventures I have in me. And most of the skeleton themed people I've met haven't been particularly charming.

[But space, yet, maybe he'll actually find something that doesn't feel quite so exhausting.]

[coolskeletonnyehntyfive]

You've met other skeletons before? Wowie! I can't remember ever seeing any that weren't myself or my brother!

[warandpeace]

Not skeletons. Just matched the theme. A fighting unit called "the Skulls", under the control of a man named "Skull Face".

You wouldn't want to meet 'em. Tended to use big knives when they hugged.

[Except Skull Face who was all drama. Which... dear god he couldn't imagine this guy in an argument with that. That hurts.]