video | backdated to the third or so

[coolskeletonnyehntyfive]

[The first thing visible on the screen is eyesockets. Big, round, empty eyesockets, with the back of the skull just visible if anyone's paying attention.]

Wowie! This is even cooler than my phone at home! Look at all the buttons! And now everyone can see and hear me, regardless of where they are? Nyeh-heh-heh!

[Finally, the person on the screen pulls their arm away from their face and holds it up, tilted down slightly at a classic selfie angle.

Word has probably spread about living skeletons on the ship, and now it appears the tall one is addressing everyone.]

A-HEM!

[He doesn't have a throat to clear; he just literally said the word "ahem" really loud.]

Attention, monsters and humans and... otherwise! I, the great Papyrus, was selected to act as your new Morale Officer, and as such, I have some questions for you. Do not be intimidated! There are no wrong answers, just a really cool guy listening to everything you have to say!

[He ticks the questions off on his bony fingers.]

Firstly! If we haven't yet met, what is your name?
Secondly! Are you happy here on the ship?
Thirdly! If not, what is troubling you, and do you need a hug?
And lastly, if you said yes to the second part, what is your location. I may need a few minutes, as this place can get a little confusing, but just hang in there! I believe in you!

[A short pause as he tries to think of what else to say. This is his big debut, he should make himself seem as cool as possible so he can attract a lot of friends! Maybe he can just use some awesome radio slang and end it here? Yes, yes, of course, that's totally what cool guys do!]

This has been a very important message from the great Papyrus! Roger and out. No, wait--!

[Thinking he can erase the message and do it over, he jabs a button and turns it off.]

Comments

text;

[neveroutwrenched]

uh, hey no offense, but do you really think that you're going to improve the morale of this ship just by hugging people?

[coolskeletonnyehntyfive]

NO, NO JUST!! THIS IS ONLY PHASE ONE OF WHAT I HOPE WILL BE A FANTASTIC MORALE BOOST FOR EVERYONE!

I JUST NEED TO KEEP WORKING AT IT, SINCE IT SEEMS THERE ARE A LOT OF SAD PEOPLE ON THIS SHIP.

[neveroutwrenched]

phase...one. okay.

ah, well, i mean...i think its great that youre taking your job....seriously. [An understatement.] its just, you know. im not sure if hugs are everyone's thing.

you might need to ease back on the throttle, a little, you know?

[coolskeletonnyehntyfive]

I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY ANYONE WOULDN'T WANT A COOL SKELETON HUG, BUT SOME PEOPLE JUST NEED TIME TO GET USED TO THE IDEA, I GUESS!

I'LL CERTAINLY TAKE YOUR INPUT INTO ACCOUNT, BUT I STILL HAVE SO MUCH TO DO! SO MANY LOW SPIRITS! PERHAPS SOME GAMES ARE IN ORDER?

[I'm sorry, Ratchet, Papyrus is really bad at not trying super hard.]

[neveroutwrenched]

[Ratchet is trying to imagine if hugging a skeleton would be anything other than uncomfortable but says nothing of the sort.]

yeah. Maybe they do.

Games. Uh. Yeah, games might be a good idea....what kind were you thinking?

[coolskeletonnyehntyfive]

[It's probably weird and pokey, not that he would have any idea. In his mind, skeletons are ideal for basically anything you could think of.]

I SUPPOSE IT DEPENDS ON WHAT PEOPLE ARE FAMILIAR WITH! PERHAPS SOMETHING WITH SLIPPERY ICE, OR SPIKE TRAPS?

[neveroutwrenched]

[Spike traps.]

Oh boy. Yeah I'm...okay. That's not a bad start but maybe, you want to steer towards something a little...safer?

[coolskeletonnyehntyfive]

[He IS a monster from an RPG. Tradition is tradition.]

Really? Safer than that?

[He sounds so dubious.]

Well, what sort of games do they play where you're from?

[neveroutwrenched]

[They're really big on bloodsport and televised death courses where Ratchet's from but that's really not the direction he thinks they should be taking things in.]

Ah, well, you know, I've spent the past eight months with humans, and I've learned that they seem to really like games with cards and all kinds of complicated rules.

...although they also like to shoot each other with guns filled with paint. [technically that had been a combat exercise, but everyone mostly seemed to be having fun.]

We probably can't get them, but humans also have these things called "legos". They're pretty cool. You just build whatever you want out of them, so I guess it's not really a game.