video 01 | Aortic Aneurysm

[clussy]

(You know who is not going to react to this situation decently no matter how many times it's explained to him? Eddie. You know who doesn't have a good game face against fear? Also Eddie. He's alone, he needs an adult, and he's pretty sure they don't restock on inhalers here. He knew he didn't need it, not technically, but he also knew that his lungs were contracting at a rate that lead to hyperventilating and as far as he was concerned, that was exactly what an asthma attack was all about. He was having an asthma attack. Maybe. His body was thinking about it.

By the way, he's definitely just been staring at the video for a couple of silent seconds, his jaw working back and forth as he just tried to remind himself that he was actually capable of breathing. This kid......)

My mom's going to fucking kill me.

(The words are whispered under his breath and he would think twice about swearing if he realized how many adults might be watching this video. He was enough of a loser that he could get the whole communication device thing, really, that was fine. But he wasn't quite able to wrap his mind around the full extent of it all.

After a second, he decides fuck it. He needs his inhaler. It goes up, he gives it a few shakes, and takes a deep, deep breath in with it. Holds. Holds.

Then his whole body deflates, his eyes rolling up. He closes his eyes and thinks about how he would talk to the police in Derry. Ha. If that wasn't the biggest fucking joke ever. When he speaks next, his voice is pitched higher than before, that typical 'I'm trying super hard to be polite and endearing' voice that he uses to call his mom 'mommy' when he's real apologetic. He's not even trying to be a suck up. The kid's just scared.)

Um. My name's Eddie Kaspbrak. I'm Sonia Kaspbrak's son and I definitely need to be home for dinner which is like, in an hour. So if anyone can help...I would really appreciate it.

.....God, I really hope this isn't that creep who was taking all those kids.

Comments

[inconsequence]

"Guru" rolls off the tongue better.

[squadgoals]

It would roll better if you swapped them around.

Even moreso if it wasn't there at all.

[inconsequence]

What a shame. Guess I'm not a wordsmith.

Too bad it's stuck.

[squadgoals]

Fine. You know what? I'm warming to it.

I hereby assign you the hallowed title of Novice Chara.

Your first task is to eat breakfast every day at a regular time, because it's the most important meal of the day. Well-known guru fact.

[inconsequence]

You didn't specify the contents of said breakfast. Guess it's chocolate again!

[squadgoals]

No!

Number one, stop flipping my healthy eating pyramid upside down! I spent a lot of time drawing all those fruits and vegetables to emphasize how important it is to eat them!

Number two, we're running out of chocolate! What are you going to do then? You have to at least try the other stuff. It's got natural sugars.

[inconsequence]

I have a hard time taking advice from someone who undermines her own authority. Regularly.

[Don't think they haven't noticed that she is not exactly the pinnacle of healthy habits in regards to eating or sleeping herself.]

[squadgoals]

I'm healthy! I eat three square nutrient cubes a day!

[And plenty of liquid nutrition. On rocks. At bars. Agh.]

Okay, I get the picture. Not sure I can do much about the sleep part for either of us, but what about if we compromise on the nutrition front? Tell me your favorite food that isn't a sweet, and I'll do whatever I can to make it happen.

[inconsequence]

I very much doubt that's possible. Though I am partial to tea.

[That isn't a food, Chara.]

[squadgoals]

Tea is a good start. It's not a food, but I can work with tea.

Anything else?

[inconsequence]

The SOULs of the innocent.

[So, no. No preferences that will be coaxed from them so easily.]

[squadgoals]

And if those souls were to have a flavor, you'd pick...?

[inconsequence]

Chocolate. Obviously.

[squadgoals]

Walked right into that one.

Well, we'll see what I can do.

[inconsequence]

I can't wait to see how everyone manages chocolate nutrition blocks. That sounds positively divine.

[squadgoals]

Are you ready for this?

I'm only going to make it SMELL like chocolate.

[inconsequence]

Should I ask how you might manage such a thing, or should I be content to let myself be surprised?

[squadgoals]

No spoilers unless you want them, but I bet you could figure it out on your own.

[inconsequence]

Certainly.

In that case, I'll be waiting.

[squadgoals]

It might take a little bit for me to get things together, but I think you'll be impressed.

[That she managed to concoct something that smelled great and still tasted like a grassy nutrient block.]

[inconsequence]

Why, Ms. Guru, I had no idea you were such an established cook.

[squadgoals]

Only if scrambled eggs and toast are considered haute cuisine, Novice Chara.

I'd consider this more to do with science. But you'll have to wait to hear more.

[inconsequence]

You might be surprised. I would consider that a notable improvement.

[...over their diet of nothing more than cocoa puffs.]

[squadgoals]

The second I get my hands on eggs, bread, or both, you know what you're getting subjected to.

[A hearty breakfast, apparently.]

[inconsequence]

You may want to consider rephrasing. From the outside observer, it looks as though you might be planning to eat me.