thisavrou | (no subject)

video.

[The man who appears on the screen is a nice shade of sky blue and a dark shade of grumpy looking, paired all up with a set of sinister looking red eyes. When he talks, gold that decorates his jagged teeth shine. Truly a man of high-quality tastes. He sounds it, too. What's in direct contrast to everything is that there's a brightly colored wall behind him, painted in the bright paint fashion typical of day care facilities.]

Look, I just wound up here an' the first thing they did was put me on assignment with a bunch of rugrats that don't even come waist high. But seein' as me an' the faculty got two very distinct ideas of 'life skills', looks like I'll be lookin' for some alternative work.

I'm plannin' on some freelance but I'm used to workin' with other people. So if there comes up some work soon, I'd like to find someone that can play nice with others.

My standards for "playin' nice" [he raises his hand in view of the feed, does a so so motion with his hand which is just as blue as the rest of him] ain't exactly the same as everybody else's. [He's got the low bar of 'don't steal from me and don't stab me in the back'. Only someone he really likes can get away with that shit, and even then they're coming out with some bruises in tender places if he can get his hands on them.] So I think we could come to an arrangement.

[In the background some kid says-] Mr. Udonta I gotta pee and Keli won't get out of the bathroom.

[And Yondu turns away, looks off screen to respond.] Then go pee! There's a plant over there. It probably needs waterin' anyway.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Yeah, well. Maybe there was a typo somewhere. Does anything rhyme with babysitter?

I don't know. I can't be the only guy 'round here that's raised a kid. Why didn't no one else get this gig?

Guess you're just a lucky guy. What kind of freelance work are you looking for?

I'm usually best equipped for retrieval stuff. I guess I could do some bodyguardin', since that comes with safe transport.

That explains the babysitting skills.

Welp, I can keep 'em alive until their parents come and get 'em. I figure that's the best they want of me. I can't keep 'em happy 'cause you can't keep no kid perfectly happy unless they already got the disposition for it.

... Okay, now you do sound like you know what you're talking about.

[ He sounds surprised, but... sincere. ]

It ain't that hard. Easier than takin' care of drunk people.

[He knows. He just cares considerably less about manners than most parents.]

Yeah, but you're allowed to fight drunk people.

Why fight someone drunk unless you're drunk too? Seems like a waste of time.

Don't know. I've never been the drunk one.

Believe me, fightin' drunk people is only worth it unless you're drunk.

Too easy?

You'd think. But half the time they don't even feel the hit.

Oh. Huh. So it's a tradeoff for dulled reflexes.

[ He's treating this very seriously. ]

You might as well be fightin' a brick wall if you pick on the wrong drunk guy. They ain't gonna feel nothin'.

If you both're gonna beat each other stupid, you might as well be wrecked so you don't remember it nohow.

I guess you're right. It sounds a lot smarter to not do it at all.