video

[businessinfront]

[ The feed opens on one dark, out of focus eye squinting at the camera. The owner of the eye blinks, pulls back, and frowns, looking over the screen. It's pretty obvious that Keith doesn't have the first clue that he's actually streaming this — no, he's just setting the TAB down on the counter.

He pulls out a pocket knife. He gathers up a handful of the back of his unruly hair, a few months overdue for a cut. And... yes, he's really doing it. He's using selfie mode as a mirror to trim his mullet with a knife.

After a minute of him hacking away at the ends of his hair, the "transmitting" symbol on the TAB catches his notice, and his eyes go wide. There's a smack as he slams the TAB facedown on the counter, grumbling something indistinct. After a moment, he gathers it back up again, with an expression on his face somewhere between "annoyed" and "I hope an asteroid hits me." ]

... Someone tell me how to delete this. Thanks.

Comments

[yablueit]

Well this explains a lot about your hair.

[businessinfront]

Like yours is so great!

[yablueit]

At least I've never cut mine with a knife.

[businessinfront]

It's efficient!

[yablueit]

How!

[businessinfront]

I already had a knife?

[ obviously. ]

[shiro2hero]

Keith... they have scissors here.

[businessinfront]

I had a knife right here.

[shiro2hero]

Yeah, and there's scissors in the kitchen.

Or people who actually cut hair.

[businessinfront]

I don't need to go to someone else! It's fine.

[ It's not fine. ]

[shiro2hero]

Keith. Buddy.

[You're saying the magic words.]

That's... not... Look, you can do these things now. You've got options.

[businessinfront]

I know. But it's less hassle.

[ A beat... aaand he misses the point. ]

I guess I can get scissors.

[redshitlord]

Do the whole thing next! The long weird back part!

[yablueit]

It's called a mullet and I agree.

[redshitlord]

Whoa. It has a name?

Dude, that's like... the lamest thing I've ever seen a human do with their hair. And it has a name?

[yablueit]

Oh yeah. And he wears it like that on purpose, too.

[redshitlord]

...

What, really? Why?

[businessinfront]

No!

—and it's not weird!

[redshitlord]

Dude, it's a little weird.

[businessinfront]

What's so weird about it?

[redshitlord]

Like... literally everything. Did you even use a mirror?

[pidge_out]

You had it streaming. Pretty sure there's no way to delete that.

And dude, was that a pocket knife? Seriously?

[businessinfront]

Can't you— I don't know, hack it or something?

And yeah, it was.

[pidge_out]

Maybe. But even if I did, everyone's already seen it and there's nothing I can do about that.

Did you not know where the scissors were?

[businessinfront]

[ S I G H ]

Yeah, I did, but I already had a knife, so...

[ Shrug. ]