ivan "pretty boy from barrayar" vorpatril (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
whatdidisay) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
thisavrou2015-12-29 11:43 am
whatdidisay) wrote in thisavrou2015-12-29 11:43 am
video. 001.
( the face that appears is open and handsome, smiling charmingly and with wavy black hair parted smartly to one side. it's clear from the feed that he's unusually tall, and his accent when he speaks is rich and warm, though guttural. a cousin to russian, maybe, if someone was familiar with that particular accent. he's dressed in the given uniforms of the ship, reclining in his assigned quarters that are, for once, blissfully quiet.
well mostly, because there's a small, tiny meow coming from his hand — a grey kitten from the bonsai kitten tree. someone's stepped up and taken responsibility for something that came from his universe. ivan's petting it absently with a finger until it decides that its had enough of that and sinks its teeth into it instead. ivan hisses in annoyance as he tries to pry it away. )
Get off you little monster — I knew General Count Piotr was a good name for you—
( because his great uncle was a right fucking terror. anyway, onto the point of this broadcast! )
I'm looking to set up my cousin on a blind date. He's going to drive me mad otherwise — I think he's doing it on purpose this time, instead of it being a natural byproduct of his personality. ( a beat, and then he has a really great idea. ) And my other, more distant cousin, because he deserves to have a good time for once in his life. I can vouch for them both if you like, give an honest opinion of them to interested parties, but I think they'd like to speak for themselves. Well, one of them you won't be able to get to stop.
He likes tall women. Dark hair, and with the ability to break him in half if they wanted to. Not actually that hard to do, so be careful when throwing him around. I'm told he's charming, but it comes across as him being an egotistical prat. Damned clever and knows it, so be prepared to suffer if you can’t keep up. Requirements include being open to sexual creativity and unusual partners.
( you're welcome, miles vorkosigan. )
Anyway, the other one's your typical tall, dark, silent fellow. I don't actually know what his type is, come to think of it, and I'm not sure anyone does. M'mother would have thrown every woman that fit it at him until he married one of them if she knew. If the phrase 'let’s wait and see what happens' won't drive you up the wall, he's the guy for you. Requirements include being open to having five children. At least.
( you're also welcome, gregor vorbarra. please find a nice woman and get married and have as many children as there are uterine replicators on barrayar. )
So! Interested? Let me know and I’ll set you up.
ADDED IN LATER:
Nevermind about the child thing, just be willing to handle a fun, no-committment deal with him instead.
well mostly, because there's a small, tiny meow coming from his hand — a grey kitten from the bonsai kitten tree. someone's stepped up and taken responsibility for something that came from his universe. ivan's petting it absently with a finger until it decides that its had enough of that and sinks its teeth into it instead. ivan hisses in annoyance as he tries to pry it away. )
Get off you little monster — I knew General Count Piotr was a good name for you—
( because his great uncle was a right fucking terror. anyway, onto the point of this broadcast! )
I'm looking to set up my cousin on a blind date. He's going to drive me mad otherwise — I think he's doing it on purpose this time, instead of it being a natural byproduct of his personality. ( a beat, and then he has a really great idea. ) And my other, more distant cousin, because he deserves to have a good time for once in his life. I can vouch for them both if you like, give an honest opinion of them to interested parties, but I think they'd like to speak for themselves. Well, one of them you won't be able to get to stop.
He likes tall women. Dark hair, and with the ability to break him in half if they wanted to. Not actually that hard to do, so be careful when throwing him around. I'm told he's charming, but it comes across as him being an egotistical prat. Damned clever and knows it, so be prepared to suffer if you can’t keep up. Requirements include being open to sexual creativity and unusual partners.
( you're welcome, miles vorkosigan. )
Anyway, the other one's your typical tall, dark, silent fellow. I don't actually know what his type is, come to think of it, and I'm not sure anyone does. M'mother would have thrown every woman that fit it at him until he married one of them if she knew. If the phrase 'let’s wait and see what happens' won't drive you up the wall, he's the guy for you. Requirements include being open to having five children. At least.
( you're also welcome, gregor vorbarra. please find a nice woman and get married and have as many children as there are uterine replicators on barrayar. )
So! Interested? Let me know and I’ll set you up.
ADDED IN LATER:
Nevermind about the child thing, just be willing to handle a fun, no-committment deal with him instead.
Audio
( gregor's talking to a girl. eggsy is going to hook miles up with someone. it's a goddamn success. )
Audio
"Date our cousin Ivan. He is easy. Babies not required. Yet."
Audio
( no such luck. alys vorpatril is a force of nature.
he's not arguing about the easy part, however, because he knows he is. )
no subject
[His first meeting with Ivan was of Ivan being easy, but let's be real; most of Niko's friends are easy, and before Kate was he was too. He has no real place making fun of him for it.]
[But he will anyway.]
no subject
( because the sooner gregor marries and has kids, the more bodies are between him and the damned camp stool of barrayar. ivan would rather not be third in line by some accounts for ruling a tri-planet empire. thanks but no fucking thanks at all. )
no subject
Better start coming up with important excuses now.
no subject
Maybe I'll just. Let the professionals vet her, eh?
( miles is impsec, it'll be fine. )