thisavrou | video. 001.

( the face that appears is open and handsome, smiling charmingly and with wavy black hair parted smartly to one side. it's clear from the feed that he's unusually tall, and his accent when he speaks is rich and warm, though guttural. a cousin to russian, maybe, if someone was familiar with that particular accent. he's dressed in the given uniforms of the ship, reclining in his assigned quarters that are, for once, blissfully quiet.

well mostly, because there's a small, tiny meow coming from his hand — a grey kitten from the bonsai kitten tree. someone's stepped up and taken responsibility for something that came from his universe. ivan's petting it absently with a finger until it decides that its had enough of that and sinks its teeth into it instead. ivan hisses in annoyance as he tries to pry it away. )

Get off you little monster — I knew General Count Piotr was a good name for you—

( because his great uncle was a right fucking terror. anyway, onto the point of this broadcast! )

I'm looking to set up my cousin on a blind date. He's going to drive me mad otherwise — I think he's doing it on purpose this time, instead of it being a natural byproduct of his personality. ( a beat, and then he has a really great idea. ) And my other, more distant cousin, because he deserves to have a good time for once in his life. I can vouch for them both if you like, give an honest opinion of them to interested parties, but I think they'd like to speak for themselves. Well, one of them you won't be able to get to stop.

He likes tall women. Dark hair, and with the ability to break him in half if they wanted to. Not actually that hard to do, so be careful when throwing him around. I'm told he's charming, but it comes across as him being an egotistical prat. Damned clever and knows it, so be prepared to suffer if you can’t keep up. Requirements include being open to sexual creativity and unusual partners.

( you're welcome, miles vorkosigan. )

Anyway, the other one's your typical tall, dark, silent fellow. I don't actually know what his type is, come to think of it, and I'm not sure anyone does. M'mother would have thrown every woman that fit it at him until he married one of them if she knew. If the phrase 'let’s wait and see what happens' won't drive you up the wall, he's the guy for you. Requirements include being open to having five children. At least.

( you're also welcome, gregor vorbarra. please find a nice woman and get married and have as many children as there are uterine replicators on barrayar. )

So! Interested? Let me know and I’ll set you up.

ADDED IN LATER:
Nevermind about the child thing, just be willing to handle a fun, no-committment deal with him instead.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

I think I could always stand to laugh with you, but never at you. You know your relationship with Ivan better than I do, it's true. I'm probably just projecting-- I've never had a family before, and somehow I think I couldn't stand watching one fall apart. Which is dramatic, probably, forgive me for not knowing enough about these kinds of things and opening my mouth anyway.

[No doubt she's romanticizing things, that she can only appreciate Ivan, Miles, and Greg from a perspective of someone who wants that kind of interaction in their life. Elizabeth can't help it, though, she's spent years wanting it and she's not about to break her own survival habits.]

Small ship, but people seem to be arriving all the time. Never say never.

[ miles is glad this is over text, because he actually cringes at that -- not from unintentional insult, but unintentionally close-to-home comment. dammit, this whole self-deprecation thing usually works great as a deflection. the fact that it isn't really working with elizabeth is... well. elena and elli have always neatly sidestepped that attempted smokescreen, too. ]

Don't worry, Elizabeth, that isn't what you're seeing. This family isn't falling apart any time soon, certainly not from this -- we are much, much harder to dismantle. Trust me.

[ usually it takes mass murder, and hey, they're still here!

but that offer feels about as much of a brush-off as he thinks elizabeth is capable of giving him, and miles deflates a little. well, that's probably for the best. ]

I suppose you're right. Some people I can start fresh with, without this embarrassing nonsense hanging over me. Hopefully.

[Elizabeth ran with the king of self-deprecation, Miles. She has not begun to ignore your deflection to the fullest extent of her ability.]

Plenty of people in the universe, Miles, I know that for a fact. And if one of them doesn't strike your fancy... we can go break into a sealed room somewhere, how about that? You won't have time to think about it, we'll be too busy trying not to be stabbed/eaten/frozen/burned/suffocated/etc.

Just so. Well, I'm not for lack of wanting, that's for sure.

Oh, yes, nearly getting ourselves killed is a fine diversion, but it makes an even better method. There is a lot to learn about this ship.

I'm not certain you should go poking around where that monster was locked up for a date, Miles. You can't possibly be so eager that you'd take a deadly creature out for dinner? Seems like a terrible method of finding romance.

[ oh god ]

Ha. No, not quite that desperate. Not really my type, anyway. I prefer women with dark hair, and...more of a face.

[Sorry Miles, she had to. This was far too serious at the beginning. She bites her lip and pulls on a lock of her hair as she reads. Maybe it wasn't dark enough...?]

Not a big sucking hole where the mouth should be? So demanding, Miles.

[ he takes back the last 'oh god'. this is way more of an 'oh god' moment. miles actually groans and runs his hands down his face before he types back an answer. ]

Appealing though that might be to some of my peers, I prefer a little more substance to my connections. A mouth is sort of needed for conversation, but if wanting to actually talk with a woman is an unreasonably high standard, then I suppose it's no wonder I'm single.

[ single here, anyway. he hasn't seen taura or elli quinn for months; he feels about as disconnected from them as he could be, and in his present loneliness he misses them. but that doesn't distract him from the uncomfortable crush he seesm to have developed on elizabeth when he wasn't looking. make light of his relationship status, that's the ticket. ]

[She smiles, then it turns into a slightly confused frown. They talk! They talk all the time!]

[...Ngh. She's not going to dye her hair black for Miles. She already cut off about half of it for his sake...]

[...wait is he thinking that she meant... Oh God. IT WAS JUST A HORRIFYING ADJECTIVE SHE'D THOUGHT OF.]

Yes! Yes, definitely yes. ...I didn't mean it that way, but if it's any consolation now I've got some terrible images that will probably never go away. Conversation. Yes. I suppose those of us with such old-fashioned standards struggle no matter what we try, right?

I'd say 'misery loves company' but it sounds a tad cruel.

I don't know, you seem to be doing pretty well for yourself. You might be onto something there.

[ miles doesn't intend that to be catty, he only intends it as a neutral compliment, a very vague congratulations of sorts, but the second he sends it he immediately begins fretting over the tone being misinterpreted. oh, god, why didn't he stop texting like ten texts ago ]

I'm getting better I suppose, but I still feel... naive. Like I have to have everything explained to me, or I say things without really knowing what I'm saying. Like... what I just said up there. I realize complaining about coming from a different time and place is fruitless, but sometimes I feel like I'm trying to see the world through binoculars while everybody else can just look around and see everything as easily as they please.

[ miles HOW DO YOU KEEP MAKING THIS CONVERSATION WORSE ]

Ah, well, I think Ivan is good for that sort of thing, if you're worried about being inexperienced, or...something. He's a patient man, at least with women. You're still broadening your horizons, that's all. Sometimes that takes time.

[ look how hard he's trying, saying nice things about ivan. it's killing him a little bit. ]

Ivan? Really? He seemed... amused when I asked if we could hold hands. I didn't think he'd stay patient with me, to be honest. ...wait did he talk to you about me?

[Why would he be talking about Ivan unless he knew they were going to go on a date... someday?]

[ miles buries his face into his pillow to let out a muffled scream. ]

Well, he mentioned that you two were going on a date, that was all. I think he just wanted to share the good news with someone.

[ look how much effort he's putting into not typing he just wanted to brag.

miles hesitates there, though, because he doesn't know any details. holding hands? ivan mentioned something about taking it slow, he thinks, but that's... well it's kind of frigging adorable. ]

I doubt it was intended as derision. I think it was more of a novelty to him than anything else. But he likes you, and the more he likes someone, the more patient he is. I'm sure you have nothing to worry about with Ivan, Elizabeth.

Oh. Well, I guess that's alright.

[A little overblown to call it 'good news', but maybe Ivan's more excited than he let on. That's nice to know, that he's excited. It's nice to be wanted, after all.]

Well I think 'worried' isn't the right sentiment, but I get what you're saying. That does make me feel a little less like I'm running down a hill with a brick wall at the end.

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