thisavrou | video. 001.

( the face that appears is open and handsome, smiling charmingly and with wavy black hair parted smartly to one side. it's clear from the feed that he's unusually tall, and his accent when he speaks is rich and warm, though guttural. a cousin to russian, maybe, if someone was familiar with that particular accent. he's dressed in the given uniforms of the ship, reclining in his assigned quarters that are, for once, blissfully quiet.

well mostly, because there's a small, tiny meow coming from his hand — a grey kitten from the bonsai kitten tree. someone's stepped up and taken responsibility for something that came from his universe. ivan's petting it absently with a finger until it decides that its had enough of that and sinks its teeth into it instead. ivan hisses in annoyance as he tries to pry it away. )

Get off you little monster — I knew General Count Piotr was a good name for you—

( because his great uncle was a right fucking terror. anyway, onto the point of this broadcast! )

I'm looking to set up my cousin on a blind date. He's going to drive me mad otherwise — I think he's doing it on purpose this time, instead of it being a natural byproduct of his personality. ( a beat, and then he has a really great idea. ) And my other, more distant cousin, because he deserves to have a good time for once in his life. I can vouch for them both if you like, give an honest opinion of them to interested parties, but I think they'd like to speak for themselves. Well, one of them you won't be able to get to stop.

He likes tall women. Dark hair, and with the ability to break him in half if they wanted to. Not actually that hard to do, so be careful when throwing him around. I'm told he's charming, but it comes across as him being an egotistical prat. Damned clever and knows it, so be prepared to suffer if you can’t keep up. Requirements include being open to sexual creativity and unusual partners.

( you're welcome, miles vorkosigan. )

Anyway, the other one's your typical tall, dark, silent fellow. I don't actually know what his type is, come to think of it, and I'm not sure anyone does. M'mother would have thrown every woman that fit it at him until he married one of them if she knew. If the phrase 'let’s wait and see what happens' won't drive you up the wall, he's the guy for you. Requirements include being open to having five children. At least.

( you're also welcome, gregor vorbarra. please find a nice woman and get married and have as many children as there are uterine replicators on barrayar. )

So! Interested? Let me know and I’ll set you up.

ADDED IN LATER:
Nevermind about the child thing, just be willing to handle a fun, no-committment deal with him instead.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

An astute observation. A pity it hadn't occurred to Ivan earlier, but alas.

It is obvious you did not get a choice in this. If that helps

[Because wow half of that is stuff people normally try to bury in the dark parts of their minds, not parade in front of the entire ship.]

Edited (Coding on phone :/) 2015-12-29 22:28 (UTC)

I do appreciate that, in light of the less-than-flattering assessment of my character as a brooding, baby-crazy recluse who never talks to anyone and needs his cousin's mother to coordinate his social affairs. Completely ridiculous. I'm not baby-crazy in the least.

( somewhere on the moira ivan just laughs. )

[Just a regular brooding recluse with a family who has serious boundary issues, then? Wanda's glad he can't tell she's laughing; he's having a bad enough day without her teasing him.]

Starting over completely might be a better idea if you want to try this again

[Nobody but Ivan can reliably tell when he's making a deliberate joke one way or the other anyway, so perhaps it's just as well.]

I'm tempted to just scrap the whole sordid business, but I'm not sure I'd ever hear the end of it from Ivan, so I fear I may be stuck.

Is it something you wanted before this? It will be hard to hide if it wasn't.

And I do not think you will hear the end of it either way

I'm not strongly opposed to meeting more people, romantically or otherwise, but it wasn't exactly at the top of my to-do list. I was more enjoying not having someone constantly arranging my private personal affairs without consulting me, but perhaps Ivan takes after his mother more than I previously considered. Terrifying thought, that. I suppose you're right. I should likely just resign myself to injured dignity and be grateful Ivan didn't reveal anything even more embarrassing. We've known each other since we were children, he's had ample time to gather ammunition--though, put that way, so have I. Hmm.

[Ivan, you're going to get it later, though you don't know it yet. He just has to figure out how.]

Not freezing has been more important, yes? But if he is not wearing her clothes there is still hope.

[Ivan's also managed to really step in it regarding her dead brother, so she doesn't comment on that last bit. It's still raw and when Wanda can talk about it, it still has to be on her own terms.

She is, however, not above providing subtle ammunition.]

[Gregor chokes on a helpless laugh at that particular mental image. Maybe he'll request some be delivered, just to see what Ivan would do.]

Yes, one would think that he would find more constructive things to do to occupy his time, but one becomes accustomed to disappointment if one knows Ivan long enough, I suppose.

Maybe this is what happens when we're kept in one place too long. Everyone will forget this by the next stop, I think. Too busy getting away from the ship.

Shore leave does tend to inspire that sort of short-term memory loss in my experience, it's true. A cheerful thought, thank you.

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