(no subject)

[realitywarped]

[Have a possibly familiar face- although for those who haven't seen this particular Loki before, his face is marked with a scar under his left eye, looking rather like a 7. If he looks a little grim, try not to worry about it too much.]

For those of you who have miraculously escaped any knowledge of any iteration of me, my name is Loki, Norse god of any number of things. Also, apparently, head chef of this journey to nowhere- for now.

[He waves at the camera, getting a little more into character, smiling crookedly, sounding off-hand. And yes... Loki does like the sound of his own voice. Particularly when he's grouchy and a little concerned.]

For a number of reasons- including safety in numbers, it being much warmer in here with the ovens on, the fact the captains see it fit to keep sending kitchen staff to me who think penne is a mispelt item of coinage, and if I'm counting right it was my birthday yesterday- if you want to come down to the kitchens, I'll be here all day. If you want to attempt to learn a little baking, I intend to make myself a cake and perhaps teach a few other people in the process.

[He shrugs, one eyebrow up, indicates the kitchen behind him.]

There'll also be coffee on almost constantly, so you're welcome to that, too. I do make very good coffee- although really, you owe master Kaplan for this one.

[He pans the camera to a pile of boxes on a counter, tone turning mildly irritated.]

-Ah, and if you have any idea what groats are, past an ancient term for currency no longer in use, you can come collect them as soon as you can.

Comments

video

[forwardmomentum]

Wait, you have groats?

[realitywarped]

Well-volunteered, mister Vorkosigan! No, I don't. You are now the proud owner of ten boxes of groats, collectable at your earliest convenience- or inconvenience for that matter. Also, I believe this book may be yours, but I haven't quite finished reading it yet.

[Covering for lingering awkwardness with pre-emptive irritation? Would he do a thing like that?]

[forwardmomentum]

Ten boxes? Where the hell did you -- never mind. I think I know.

[ thanks, ingress. miles blows out his breath. somehow, loki's behavior doesn't surprise him, given that he's pretty sure the other man -- god, whatever -- has been avoiding him since their stint in the morgue. well, miles can't really blame him. ]

All right, fine -- I'll pick them up on my next kitchen shift. [ then his look goes totally quizzical. ] What book?

video;

[neveroutwrenched]

[While learning how to bake has exactly zero (maybe less) appeal to Ratchet, anyplace warm and with food sounds incredibly alluring right about now. Despite having a hundred other more pressing issues - power outages, life support failing, monstrous murderers stalking the halls - Ratchet was still trying to shake the post-cryo need to eat like he hadn't eaten in two weeks. Which, in all practicality...he hadn't.

Which probably makes what he zeroes in on strange.]

What is coffee, anyway?

[realitywarped]

[Hey, coffee is entirely serious business. Loki can't really blame anyone for zeroing in on it. He steeples his fingers under his chin, shaking his head in (entirely feigned) sadness.]

The roasted beans of the Coffea plant, in this particular case mostly Coffea Arabica, brewed with hot water in a startlingly arcane alchemical ritual. Add milk and sugar to taste.

[Don't ask Loki to explain things, seriously. The urge to troll is strong.]

[neveroutwrenched]

[Well that....clears things up.]

Is it good? Humans bring it up often enough, I guess it would have to be...

[There had to be something to it. He'd never asked about it despite the frequency that it came up on both the Moira and the Neheda. It even seemed to be a commonality between humans who had come from different times, worlds and dimensions. As ubiquitous as their obsession with cats.]

[moralperil]

[Clare is, predictably, as obliviously upbeat as ever:]

Happy belated birthday! Do you have a birthday wish? I'd bake you a cake or two, but it looks like you have that covered.

[realitywarped]

[Thanks for being the only person to indulge him and notice that one line about his birthday, Clare. Loki actually has to think about that one, just for a while.]

...You know, I think I might actually be good, for once. There are things I want, of course, but getting them on this ship might be an issue.

[moralperil]

True, but I can't even try it if I don't know what I'm looking for! If anything, it'll give me a project to work on!

video

[whatdidisay]

Where the hell did you get groats?

( he knows miles is on the case, but you know -- he still wants to know. groats!! breakfast food of choice!! )

[realitywarped]

I didn't. They appeared on my counters, and I very much want them gone.

[Or an idea of what to do with them, but he'd rather wind Miles up, honestly.]

[whatdidisay]

We'll take them. I don't know where we're going to put them, but we'll take them.

( it'll be like a little bit of home )

They're food, by the way. Normally for breakfast.

video;

[hatesimprovising]

Coffee?

[ Of course, that's the part that really gets Wash's attention. God, he could so go for a cup right now. ]

Maybe I'll stop by. I'm kind of terrible at baking, but if it's just a learning experience, I don't think I can mess up too badly.

[realitywarped]

Coffee. We had to cheat just a little to get this batch, so I wouldn't expect it again too soon unless we can find a planet that grows some kind of substitute, but I have limited supplies for now.

[He got Billy to magic it up for him, which, alas, is not a sustainable option.]

I'm not that bad a teacher, honestly. Although perhaps we'll start with cookies, rather than cake.

[hatesimprovising]

In that case, I'm definitely there. I'm dying for a cup of coffee.

[ ...That probably sounds like some kind of terrible joke considering the recent events. But honestly he's just got a caffeine craving that hasn't been filled in far too long already. And he's only been here a few days... ]

That...might be a better idea. I'd feel bad if I messed up your birthday cake. I'd much rather mess up on a batch of cookies and use that as a learning experience.

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[seeingscarlet]

[Wanda's a lot calmer than the last time he saw her, but she looks exhausted. Someone's not been sleeping well.]

What kind of cake?

[realitywarped]

Whatever kind I can scrounge up the ingredients for. It might be an interesting experiment, given my lack of regular ingredients, but I think I've found workable substitutes for most of them.

[He gives Wanda a small wave. Turns out alien planets only have analogues to Earth staples, but- Loki wants cake and he's willing to try.]

[seeingscarlet]

I will help, if you want it. If that is not strange. [In Sokovia it would be, but the last several months have featured a lot of culture shock.] Maybe you will discover something new.

text to talk

[intherigging]

[Jacky was, of course, sitting at the bar when Loki's message came in.]

What's your favourite drink?

[realitywarped]

Would make do with sufficiently strong to have any effect :-( Bar sorely lacking on that front.

video

[hellsbel]

Free drinks if we bring a friend? [wry smirk. ghost-hunting is thirsty work.]

[realitywarped]

I can hardly charge for them even if you don't.

[He shrugs, smiling a little crookedly.]

Although it might be interesting to try.

Audio

[vengeance_driven]

If you got time, I'd like some tea.

[Niko's not really a big coffee guy. No one makes tea the way he likes it but he'll take what he can get.]

Do you have some of that?

[realitywarped]

Tea might be slightly more of an issue.

[They cheated on the coffee front, after all.]

I have something that might be similar from the last planet, but it certainly isn't camellia sinensis. Tannin and caffeine content- and taste- very much not guaranteed, but I'm willing to experiment with it if you are.

[lets_see_what_happens]

Groats are the hulled kernels of various cereal grains such as oat, wheat, and rye. They're cooked in water or milk to prepare them and are usually eaten at breakfast, though dried and colored they're used for certain ceremonies on my home planet.

[This in the tone of voice of someone who's used to explaining this particular culinary cultural eccentricity.]

What an odd thing to show up here unsolicited.