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death note: l (crau)

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[Illidan's voice is deep and melodic, sounding both speculative and resentful.]

So many things lost worth saving, and so much time spent in preparation and reparation for our chosen paths. Yet, when you look back on your life from the vantage point of these new worlds, what perspective have we?

[He's silent a few moments, speculating answers himself, before speaking again.]

Our presence here does not alter nor reverse what we did on our worlds, nor why we did them. Our mistakes follow us, as do our own truths. The injustice bore on our shoulders follows us too, as it had shaped us before so does it now.

[Illidan's silence this time doesn't last as long, and the resentful tone slips away to leave only a questioning sound to his voice.]

How much can we reshape ourselves here, to find new causes here?

Is there anything here worth sacrificing for?

[Now is the longest pause, and he adds as an obvious side-note not at all related to the ponderings he's shared just now:] And where is the best brothel one can recommend on these worlds?

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What did you lose that was worth saving?

["Ryuuzaki" asks this in a tone of honest interest -- it's possible that he's the nosiest man on Kauto -- but he adds, rather more dryly,]

I'll have to warn you ahead of time that I can't help you with the brothel.

[Well, he can probably tell you where a few are, but he can't offer experiential recommendations or reviews.]

[It's a shame about the brothel but he can always work his way through them until he finds one suitable enough.]

I lost... a friendship.

[Not with his annoying twin brother, no. Illidan doesn't miss that friendship as Malfurion was always frustrating beyond compare. Somewhere deep down inside he still has some kind of love for him, but it's so far buried and thrashed it might as well not exist.

Tyrande. Maybe they could never have found love but he does lament losing her friendship.]

And my homeland. I was banished.

Have you lost something?

Oh, any number of things.

[It sounds airier than he's ever actually felt about it -- but lately, he isn't as angry as he was in the past.]

This isn't the first place I was pulled away to. The previous one was considerably worse than this.

Why were you banished?

[Maybe it's best that this didn't start off as video. Allura would find him unsettling -- oddly, though, not because of the horns or wings.]

[Also, it allows one to enjoy how melodic this conversation is.]

You know... you make it sound as we only carry the worst parts of the past into the future. There's plenty of other things that follow us, isn't there? Our pride and resolve, our promises. Our visions.

I sacrificed everything, to save my homeland, and for this they called me Betrayer. They banished me, then came to the world I ruled and hunted me there to imprison me further.

[Illidan's tone grows increasingly angry and resentful as he speaks of all of this, as if it happened last week and not thousands of years ago. He's quiet a moment as he reigns in his temper, as it has no place on this world and serves him no longer where there is no one to take his anger out upon.]

Another world, was it? How long as it been since you were home?

[It's a good point, but he has a rejoinder immediately.]

What one sees as strength another as evil. Pride and resolve they would twist into selfishness and tyranny. The vision one holds is not the desires of all and as much as one strives for retribution that vehemence is strangled by the nearsightedness of those who choose to oppose you rather than help you.

[His words come out slow but the venom in them only increases until he goes silent. A moment lapses, before he speaks with completely calmness.]

Are none so simple? Are you? I doubt it. With consciousness comes complexity and I would hope you are as complex as any other?

That depends on how you're counting it -- either close to five years, or more than a hundred. We were regularly placed into stasis for months or years at a time in the first place... like sleeping for a long time.

Have you been here for long?

[There are good reasons to guess that the answer is no, but he doesn't like to pose questions in a way that presumes the answer, like You haven't been here for long, have you?]

I'm wondering if anyone has told you about the Moira yet. There are new arrivals lately who had no experience with it.

... it, uh... does sound like you have quite a history behind you.

[She can certainly hear that venom, and she's taken aback by that reply. Apparently trying to be positive isn't the way to go, here. Who hurt you???]

[As pessimistic as he is, he's not really wrong, either.]

I am, of course. Or complex enough, at least, to know that good and evil are never simple things. If they were, war would already be a long forgotten idea.

But what I mean is, we don't lose these things simply by coming to a new place. But we can lose them in other ways. In regrets, for example.

... what's a brothel?

No, less than-- [He's about to make a reference to the lunar cycles of his home world but it's somewhat pointless here and makes him a bit angry at himself. His people run their lives by the goddess Elune but he hadn't in centuries. Out of sight, he scowls at himself.]

...three weeks.

News of the Moira have reached me but in passing only and its journey is yet unknown to me.

[There's a slight pause and more curiously he asks:] Are you human?

Regrets... yes.

[He sounds thoughtful, so much so that a small hmm can be heard before he speaks again.]

For what little good regrets will do. I find dwelling makes them only disabling, that they serve no purpose but to make you doubt yourself on the path you have chosen to walk. Do you not?

[Unseen, his eyebrows rise slowly and a smirk even passes a moment before it's gone.

It's a very simple question and Illidan takes a moment to think of a very simple answer before he speaks.]

A place of business, where one might buy the time of another, most usually with the intention of sexual congress.

A bit arbitrary isn't it? The past, the present, the future, who we were, what we did...all of that gets a bit mangled up here doesn't it? [He's come across all sort of individuals from his own world from different times that make him question who he thought he was.] I suppose it really depends on what you want from yourself here and how you wish to go about it, all that self discovery...and who knows, maybe you'll find what you are looking for.

[As for the brothel...well, Dorian has to think about that for a moment.] You know, I've not come across any brothels, not that I've been actively looking for them, but if you find one let me know...well...on second thought...

[His TAB quietly alerts him that a video is being broadcast but he can see nothing of it. Illidan has learned quickly that his ability to see magic doesn't work through the TAB and so if this man responding to him has any he can't know, for now, unless they meet in person.

Illidan wonders a moment whether he should turn on his own video feed but he decides not to; he can't think of any point to it.]

A bit arbitrary I would agree, though not completely. As I understand it, this place has the potential to bring you people you knew here. Upon them your very past would come, with their memory, with judgment upon their lips.

That and I do not know what I would wish of myself in a place where I have no roots, no gods, no purpose. Have you found a purpose here?

[Illidan taps his talons on the desk he's sitting at.]

Hmm. I may simply have to work my way through the brothels and find out.

[Dorian has simply become accustomed to the video, it's become part of his routine and so he doesn't even think about it anymore, but he does have a pleasant voice, velvety and gentlemanly.

Dorian laughs a bit.]

I come from a world where my homeland precedes my reputation, I am an evil Tevinter magister by virtue of coming from the Tevinter Imperium. Even in my homeland I'm a pariah...I suppose I've simply learned to let judgments wash over me.

Some gods can be asses, honestly, but that's just me...as for purpose? Well that is an ongoing process, it's always been an ongoing process...I go through cycles of purpose and floundering.

[Every time he finds a purpose something happens.]

I have very specific interests so you may not find what I...mmm...[no, he's spent too much time in brothels.]

[He can relate, which isn't too profound in and of itself, but he hasn't really related to anyone in a very long time. It's surprising, and Illidan is silent as he listens to the pleasant voice for as long as the man wants to talk.

At the end of it, he makes a soft scoffing noise, mistaking the reason which the thought isn't finished. Illidan assumes it's for some kind of sake to spare him gritty details of a personal nature.]

Nothing you say can shock nor offend me. On my chosen world there was an entire wing of my temple full of concubines, succubi, incubi, all at my disposal.

[And as rewards for his favored lieutenants and commanders, though he doesn't add that. It's not pertinent to this conversation.

To respond to the other half of their conversation he admits to the empathy he feels.]

I was called Betrayer, Lord of Shadows, Lord of Outland, and I can only assume all manner of unsavory titles which the unimaginative may devise.

Well...having a temple filled with concubines does have a certain splendor to it [Dorian doesn't ask if they want to be there, but that doesn't mean he's not curious] I'm not entierly certain what a succubi or incubi is however. I suppose without a temple a brothel would be very important, yes?

[They have desire demons in Thedas, likely very similar in many regards, and Dorian has even had...experiences...that would proably be shocking to someone from his world, but he doesn't talk about it. Ever.

Well he wouldn't say not ever...but not in polite conversation. Is this polite conversation?]

They sound like impressive titles, and here I've only the one - Dorian of House Pavus...and then there are the nicknames, but they do not count. [Sparkler definitely doesn't count.]

Dorian.

[Illidan can be heard chuckling. It's not the most pleasant sound to most, but he is genuinely amused at the question.]

The Sayaad are a race of demons. A succubus is a female and an incubus the male counterpart of Sayaad; they derive much of their power from sexual energy and are known for their artistry in perversion, and seductive ability.

I'm uncertain of a mortal's capacity to satisfy me. However, I'm left with little choice but to find out.

[Illidan thinks for a moment.]

Are there demons on your world, Dorian?

[Well now this is...unusual? Awkward? Dangerous? Dorian isn't quite certain what word to ascribe to this particular situation simply because he's making an effort not to be biased here. Demons are different on Thedas are they not? Also as a mage Dorian should have more liberal opinions as well...but presently Demons are falling out of rifts in his world and they are causing a great deal of mayhem...

...not Thedas. Not a Fade Demon. Be clever Dorian.]

Yes? Demons exist in this beyond space called the Fade, they tend to embody negative emotions like rage, sloth, desire, fear, envy, terror, and despair...the list is longer, but I suspect you get the picture. They do not start out as demons, however, they start out as benevolent spirits...for example a spirit of justice can become a demon of vengeance...the corruption happens when they touch the sleeping mind of a particularly twisted mortal...[oh, right, he should probably explain that, shouldn't he]...the Fade is the beyond, but it is also the place where mortal minds go when they sleep, some people have dreams that are more lucid than others...that is how spirits come into contact with these emotions.

[And he should probably add.]

Mages have a particular tricky bond with Demons, because our magic has influence across the Veil...which is sort of a curtain between the Fade and the mortal world...we are at the greatest risk for demon possession. Demons can turn us into Abominations if we are not careful.

[Meaning Dorian is a mage.]

You know...a few months ago? I would have said that there wasn't anything here worth changing myself for or sacrificing myself for.

But now...?

Now, I'm actively trying to find a way to change myself. So that I can protect the people I've found here.

I'd sacrifice myself without a second thought if it meant saving the people who took me in.

Congress?

Isn't that like. Some kinda human government stuff? Why are people buying that?

[Sideswipe you need to watch more cable.]

[It's fascinating actually. This Dorian character is surprising him, in the best of ways. Illidan leans back in the chair he's in and closes his eyes behind his blindfold, leaning his head back as he takes in every word said.]

A mage, then. [He's impressed, having his own twisted roots in the ways of a sorcerer. Illidan wonders if Dorian too feels the need to always do more, learn more, become more powerful. Magic is as limitless as one's imagination and the lengths one is willing to go to in order to master it. In the back of his mind, his brother's voice nags at him that no one person can truly master magic. Illidan smirks to himself.]

My people lived in a place like the Fade, thousands of years ago. The Emerald Dream we call it. We walked there with the gods and demi-gods who would later shape the waking world. Even now the most skilled of druids among us can transcend there at will, though it is the dream keeper dragons who truly preserve it now.

[He's rambling a bit, lost in ancient memories, remembering his many lessons in those enchanted groves with his twin brother and of course... Tyrande. Illidan is silent for just a moment before he comes back to the topic at hand.]

The Dream has its own corruptions currently. Everything stems from the Burning Legion, demons from the void of space who would see all worlds crumble into ash.

Dorian, what is the name of your magic? What powers do you wield? ...have you heard of Fel magic?

Congress, it means "to come together." [No pun intended.] You pay for someone's time, to spend together, with the intention of sex.

Is that more clear?

[Illidan chuckles]

I know little of human government.

[Illidan wonders if he too can or will find someone here worth sacrificing for. Everything he did, everything he was, is so wrapped up in his home world and his people that it seems massively pointless once away from all of that. He makes a thoughtful noise before speaking.]

You made a new family here, is that right?

Yeah...

I wasn't exactly looking to. It's...weird. I've been alone for most of my life so it was kind of jarring.

But...they accepted me. They didn't care what I was or what I could do. They saw beyond that almost immediately.

So...yeah. They're my family now. I'm thankful for them.

[Darin smiles to himself as he thinks about his new friends. His new life.]

It sounds like you're looking for something similar, friend.

[Dorian is quite good at surprising people, at least when he wants to be, or even when he isn't trying. Apparently he can surprise people by defying expectation. When people think of Tevinter they think of evil magisters and corrupt mages, blood magic and abominations. Obviously Dorian is none of these things.]

An Altus [Dorian added.] A member of mage nobility, I've had a great many successes that I'm quite proud of.

[Obviously Dorian enjoys being a mage, something of a privilege when you come from the northern region of Thedas, the south? Not so much. Dorian appreciated magic, naturally, it was a tool like any other tool...a bow, a sword...and it was a wonder. Of course there were aspects of magic that were not understood and there was where Dorian walked the line of caution. Too many mages played with magic that they didn't understand because they believed it would make them very powerful and...oops abomination...oops a whole in this sky...oops a tear in the fabric of time, let's unravel the world! Dorian was not a fan of Blood Magic either because it was also the sort of magic that wasn't fully understood.]

It seems like our worlds aren't terribly different, we have Dragons as well...not dream keeper dragons...more like melt the flesh from your bones dragons, steal your cattle when you're not looking dragons, terrorize your villages dragons. Some of them even become archdemons...well archdemons are a very specific sort of dragon...actually an old god that has been corrupted by Darkspawn and the Blight...another story entirely.

[Darkspawn, dragons, magic...now there is a long and complicated history, fortunately it's not something he has to expand upon at the moment. Not yet anyway, as there are more pressing questions needing answered.]

I've not heard of Fel magic...but we tend to call our magic...magic. Oh there are different schools of magic, let's see...there are very specialized classes of magic such as blood magic, arcane magic, rift magic, and necromancy...then you have your base level magic, spirit healers, creation, entropy, primal, elemental, spirit, and force...and then you have magic by race or by types of mage, a hedgemage might be able to shapeshift, Dalish elves might have nature abilities, and Darkspawn will use blight magic.

[There's so much out there and this list isn't exactly limited to what exists in his world.]

As for me I specialize in necromancy and I also excel in the spirit and elemental areas of magic as well...and I helped create time magic, but I refuse to use it.

...

Dude.

Dude. That's. Why would you wanna do that?

Perhaps.

[Although he seriously doubts anyone here will be wanting to make friends with him. From what he understands, there are different races here but nothing quite like him, and not with the drenching of foul, Fel magic he comes with. Illidan isn't the most congenial of people even on a good day which doesn't help either.

There's also this stubborn, bitter side of him that refuses to see the good in others and assumes they're all unworthy. Thousands of years in solitary confinement can make anyone bitter.]

Though I don't think so. It's more an existential question, of carrying forward motives on a new world which have no history for those motives to have any relation to.

Somebody wants to get laid.

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