thisavrou | 002. that's classified

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002. that's classified

Greetings!

Listen, I know it's like three a.m. ship's time, so it's perpetually Thursday on this planet. And Thursday is the worst, because it just sits there, when it could be a perfectly good Friday instead.

But I digress.

Most of us have been through a lot together, whether aboard the good ship Moira or here in the utopic gardens of Thisavrou.

And I know we're in for nasty weather, and there's lava beasts cutting swathes through upper Kauto midtown, but.

But, all that aside, I have a desperate and serious conundrum. I mean, like, I've got a real problem.

Right now.

And I need your help.

Which of these looks most like an apology to you?

...Bonus points if you can rationalize why.

Threaded | Top-Level Comments Only

[???????????]

First.

See-through and high craftsmanship.

you need to little more context than that.

Are you meaning to apologize to someone by means of replacing their door?

Edited 2017-04-07 21:16 (UTC)

A door apology, I've never heard that one before, but whatever works. If it does, I might have to use it sometime.

Definitely not the last one, it screams revenge

what do you have to apologize for?

[Cue a lot of confused squinting from the aggrieved in question. Alan does, for a split second, wonder if this has anything to do with the time Clu ripped off the door to his room on the Moira with his bare hands. And then, he considers both that the Moira is gone and Alan’s ruined door frame along with it and that he would expect a repeat offense from Clu far more than an apology-anything.

Which means this must be about someone else. Obviously.]

Should I even ask whose door it was this time?

[Everybody wants to text.

Well. Give the people what they want, right?

...Especially if it gets him what he wants.]

But I already picked the best ones. I just want some input to narrow it down.

[Deliberate obtuseness is a go.]

Greetings!

Correct!

It's more like...fair play, really, but the point stands. Yes.

You wanna help me out, or what?

[Why is everybody so mystified.]

[Hey, he knows this ID--

...Oh, geeze.]

Kiddo! How is everything? Life treating you okay?

...Let you in on a secret?

[Cursor, cursor, cursor...TEXT!]

Sometimes grownups do things they don't mean. It's true.

...It's what you do after that's important.

[So, so true, and yet ultimately entirely self-serving: best possible explanation.]

No, no you should not.

However, if you had a [Ridiculously long pause] p r e f e r e n c e, now's the time.

[???...!]

Your response is important to us.

[Someone who can follow the instructions and actually made a decision.

This may be the grudgingest point in someone's favor ever given, but it's totally there now.]

If you don't know their tastes, get the most expensive one and keep the receipt. At least the person will have monetary compensation if they hate it.

Hullo! Alright! I like the first two, while the first one can be quite delightful with the light bringing color through, the second demonstrates a different level of craftsmanship. An artistic detail of dedication, discipline, and grace. The second is more my flavor.

[...Interesting. Alan assumes a Clu-proof door would be ideal, but...] Am I correct in assuming you could destroy any of these doors if you were determined to do so?

Statistics suggested this was the broadest range of possible aesthetics known to suit the basic rectangular form.

Subsidiary analyses suggested...how do I put this. Less nonsense? Nothing round, ditch the irising models, no outre` handles or bells or doodads.

[In other words, not an answer.]

that so just saying that itd help if i knew who youre apologizing to and what for

[They're still not really speaking, but.]

Sensible. I like it.

As for the blind guessing portion, I'm acquiring more data presently.

Greetings!

It's reparation, in a way. We'll see.

Really? Interesting.

I was kinda hoping it screamed 'Open door, receive NINJAS' but I will take that under advisement.

[That.

Surprises him.

Not only is he very interested in avoiding admission of responsibility, but.

Nobody has ever cared why. They just expect him to fix or undo or remove the problem.]

...You could say I owe them one.

a new door? sounds like you got wild story behind that

In that case, go with the most expensive one.

If they like Ninjas then you're set, otherwise it's very intense.

First time I've heard that from you.

Enjoy your doors.

what species are you that you apologize with architectural fixtures?

It's treating me fine!

[Nothing traumatizing has happened in recent months, so hooray?]

Did you break someone's door? I broke a window once, a few years ago.

Taxonomy? Ugh, no.

As for the door: equal and opposite reactions, man.

Far as picking one, care to try your luck?

Good! Good, that's good to hear; I'm glad.

[It surprises him that he actually...is...glad to hear it. That feels weird.

...As long as he's okay for real, though. The cursor flickers a moment, then:]

Man, you know if anything is bothering you, you can tell me, right?

And I busted it up real good. Making amends is necessary.

Edited (it would be cool if i formatted my tags properly) 2017-04-12 13:32 (UTC)

[Sure, he does. But like all the stories about him, it's entirely his fault.]

Nah. Not really.

I just-- [What's the expression...match: found] kinda flew off the handle.

A bit literally.

Edited 2017-04-12 13:38 (UTC)

that made no sense at all.

blue door, though.

[Alan is just going to take that as a “yes.” He takes another look at the selection of doors Clu has chosen, feeling just slightly discombobulated that he’s at a state where he’s helping the program make decisions about exterior design. Maybe the fact that Clu is actually apologizing for something just feels like something Alan shouldn’t discourage.]

The third door is probably your safest bet if you don’t know anything about their tastes. The other ones might be too particular.

The doors, my friend, are not for me.

[There's the confusion again, but...Which part? Where is he causing it? User inference-making is very strong, but unpredictable, and his own is too literal and tightly iterative to be good for guessing or hints.]

...Doors that are concave want replacing.

Idiom: you break it, you buy it.

Hey, thanks!

I think he'll like that.

[ They're not technically talking.

Nihlus is just curious. And very suspicious.

He peers at the text, trying to divine some answers underneath the letters. They don't come. ]

What did you do?

[ The worst thing Clu can pull is not give him an answer. ]

that doesnt really answer questions but whatever all those doors are horrible. first one is pretentious and creepy, second one just plain weird and probably doesnt match with anything, third one is fine i guess. if you like living middle-class fuckery that is. fourth one is boring and fifth one ugly.

[He has the distinct and uncomfortable perception that of course Alan-1 knows better--and that Clu, himself, should do better when trying to redirect him like that.

Are they...is this? Well, they're not arguing.

It's not a miracle. Miracles don't exist anymore.

...Still.]

...Everyone likes the third door.

[He'll never ask a User for anything, least of all whether they really like it.]

If you're sure, I think the ayes have it.

[There. Give the guy one last chance to pick something else, without actually creating the potentiality of no, Clu.]

Edited 2017-05-01 01:40 (UTC)

[Well, okay; texting will do.

He can practically feel the suspicion in those letters, terse, short, sudden.

...Never give Clu a chance to do the worst thing. He'll take it.

If he were anything like a good person, it might almost be a tragic flaw. But as it is:]

Oh, that's history--back on the ship.

This is just the reparations phase.

You could say I don't know my own strength, but the problem here is that I do...New hinges weren't gonna cut it.

Really? I like the second one. It's orange.

[As though this alone makes it perfect.]

Still, I guess the third one is safest, at that.

...You have an interesting eye.

you can hardly tell the color under all those ugly scribbles. And orange is childish color so there. I have the eye of true cosmopolitan

[...This is the moment when Alan begins to wonder in earnest whether this door actually is for him. This would be an awful lot of consideration for his opinion if the door was for someone else.

But… Alan already has a door. Clu knows Alan already has a door.

...If this is Clu’s idea of an apology, it’s remarkably inconvenient.]

I’m sure.

[This is easily the most civil and civilized exchange they've ever even had.

And it ends in yes!

Score.

The rest is details, all but the smallest already dealt with.

They're in the future, or something like it--a great deal of junk data, some of it black-and-white; Jane, stop this crazy thing!--and they live on a binary extraplanetary system in space.

Little things like why and how are semantic, entirely automated for their convenience! With the correct currency exchanged, service drones were only too happy to deliver and install on a while-you-wait basis.

It's cutting into his nonrenewable allowance, a little, but that's all.]

Oh, good. That's very fortunate.

...Your new key should be under the flowerpot, by the way.

what did you do to a door to "concave" it. it's not actually broken? it's just weirdly bent? that's weird as fuck i wanna see.

or you can buy it then break it.

Threaded | Top-Level Comments Only

002. that's classified

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