thisavrou | [video]

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[ the feed flickers once, twice, before it settles on Thisavrou's latest Turian resident. ]

I have heard of machine-gods that could harvest entire civilizations and render them into nothingness in nanoseconds, or even create a symbiotic relationship between machines and organics...but I have never heard of the likes of machinery that could resuscitate the dead.

Yet, I am led to believe the technology here is so highly advanced that it is as common as any other glitch in a program. Is that right?

[ here, Saren pauses, clearly disbelieving. ]

I seek more credible answers, which surely someone must have uncovered by now. Is there more to how we arrived here? What is known about our gracious hosts, is there information regarding them or their government?

Humans are known for their arrogance and non-compliance. I cannot imagine that all of you have been content to act as no better than cogs in a machine, submitting so that our gracious hosts could reap the benefits of your contribution.

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[ I can't do this.

The realization comes hours too late.

I can't-

Ice colored eyes root Nihlus to his spot and everything stops. He feels his heart threaten to hammer it's way out of his chest, the sudden ghostly scent of smoke and machine and death, the point blank crack of gunshot and split second of blinding, molten agony-

He's shaking.

Drawing in a sharp, sudden breath, Nihlus curls his hands into fists, claws digging into his palms, struggling to steady himself.

He can't do this. But it was too late to back out and he can't break now- not with Saren watching him. ]

What do you remember? [ he asks shakily. ] The last thing- before you woke up here.

[ The scene was reminiscent of Eden Prime, if the positions were reversed.

Only this time, Saren was the one who had let his guard down, and Nihlus (if it was Nihlus) was the one with the element of surprise. Yet there were certain details that didn't match up, which Saren spotted immediately after the shock factor wore off. Like the fact that Nihlus was unarmed, dressed in civilian clothing which was identical to what he'd seen from the locals. It implied familiarity with the land that Saren lacked. Also telling was the manner in how Nihlus approached him, as if Nihlus were the one staring in the face of a ghost and it wasn't the other way around. ]

I had scarcely believed the source of that encryption would be so obvious. I thought surely, there must be more to it.

[ Yes, he's dodging the question. ]

Yet, here you are. I see death has treated you well...?

[ It's said more like a question than a statement, like he's trying to pry information out of Nihlus first.

Or a reaction, to see who he is dealing with. ]

Edited 2017-03-20 22:24 (UTC)

[ Nihlus laughs before he can stop himself. It's a sharp sound, cut through with something ugly and old and borderline hysterical. His subvocals were a tangled mess.

This test. He knows this test. He knows exactly why and what Saren was doing it, but it's so hard not to feel resentful.

Alright. If it's going to be this way then... alright. It was almost like nothing had changed.]

It's been one year.

[ Against better judgement, he folds his arms, half to hide the shaking, half to stop himself from reaching out- or lashing out, he's not sure which right now. The bionic arm felt like a lead weight against his shoulder. ]

One year and a lot of nightmares. [ His voice is quiet, under notes muted. ] The Ingress pulled me through after you shot me.

[ There's a pause here. Nihlus peers at the other man, eyes narrowed. Searching. ]

Tell me what you remember, Saren.

[ Saren correctly assumed his betrayal was the last thing Nihlus remembered, but he hadn't anticipated the time frame between then and now. It was an odd gap to consider since Saren could recall the memory like it was yesterday -- how he lured Nihlus out to talk. He could remember his obsessive focus with the mission, influenced by Sovereign. He could remember how he struggled with his options, in regards to how to best handle his student and the threat he posed. How he pulled the trigger, like he convinced himself Nihlus meant nothing to him. ]

You've had a year to question my motives and what I did to you. Still, you show up unarmed.

[ Saren's mulling the situation over in his head, going over what he knows so far and the possibilities. He knows Nihlus isn't stupid and wouldn't face a potential threat unprepared, so he scanned their surroundings, still avoiding the question. He figured Nihlus must have back up hidden somewhere, and his hand twitched by his gun as he got more tense. He could see why Nihlus chose this particular location now. ]

Am I to believe you're not interested in revenge?

[ Saren scoffed. ]

How could anything I say be relevant to you, if the last thing you remember is your death?

I was never under any illusion about what would happen the moment I stopped being useful to you. [ Shrugging, he gives Saren a bitter little smile. ] My flaw was thinking I was still in the green. Just didn't factor in a giant, murderous AI taking over your mind.

[ It was a lie. And it was the truth.

Saren IS his family. He'd trusted the man deeper than surface calculations of usefulness.

But Nihlus never once held onto the notion that the sentimentality was returned. ]

This isn't revenge and I'm not seeking it, [ he continues, eyes flashing with a sudden frost. ] But I intend to keep the people here safe and you running around, still hellbent on destroying all organic life... is not conducive to that.

[ In his peripheries, he sees Saren's hand hovering over that pistol and Nihlus takes in a quiet, shallow breath. As a Spectre, his most valuable weapon had always been his ability to read people. Figure out how they ticked, how to get close, how to use their flaws and hopes against themselves- or to turn them away from destruction.

Time to see if he was still right. If he still knew his old mentor as much as he thought he did. ]

I want you to convince me that you're not still under.

[ He takes a step closer. Then another. No sudden moves, but he doesn't stop, not until he's perfectly within the other Spectre's reach, defiance written in his striped face. ]

If I have to chain you down and manually peel every bit of Indoctrination out of you with my bare hands, I will do it. But I'd really, really rather I didn't have to.

You came here seeking answers to questions that have clearly haunted you, but you've provided me with more intel than you realize. You have a source, one who was closer to the events than you were.

[ For obvious reasons.

Saren sounded critical and disapproving, like he was lecturing Nihlus after a mission gone awry. Nihlus confirmed several of his suspicions at once - that Nihlus still trusted him to some degree even now, that he had some sort of resource who had knowledge of him and his actions after death, and that he knew about the Reapers. There could only be one possible source for such intel and the logical conclusion Saren reached was that Shepard or her crew must be involved somehow. It wouldn't surprise him. Shepard was always interfering somehow. She was vermin who he couldn't get away from. ]

I was never hellbent on destroying organic life. I meant to save it. Did your intel indulge that much?

[ Saren met Nihlus' eyes with equal hardness. He never thought he'd be in a position where he'd be judged by a buried memory, but he would not deny or lie about his actions. ]

I have nothing to convince you with but my own words, and even then I am not sure I trust them. I am hardly convinced myself, yet here I am.

[ There. An olive branch. A little taste into Saren's doubts and fears. ]

Our worlds burned, Saren. [ Teeth flash and Nihlus' neck curls in an angry arch as he snarls. ] Thessia, Sur'Kesh, Palaven- ALL the known worlds. Regardless of what you THOUGHT you were doing, Sovereign's will- the will of ALL the Reapers- has always been eradication.

[ And just how much of Sovereign was still influencing Saren?

It's an interesting question. This close and Nihlus isn't dead. The AI had thought him enough of a threat to destroy him on sight before: here was Saren's chance to do it again, served up on a silver platter. Any backup he had wouldn't have been able to stop his mentor in time.

But Nihlus is still here. Unhurt, despite the very blatant threat to remove all traces of Indoctrination.

There were, of course, a thousand other factors to take into account. The brainwashing made sleeper agents, after all and Saren might be lucid now, but there's no telling what was lying dormant in his systems.

His mentor aware and alive was a start, though.

Tilting his head, Nihlus' expression softens. He doesn't step back, a part of him still waiting to see if Saren was trying to buy his trust again-

But this... this seemed honest. ]

... If your people skills were even marginally better, you'd have found out about Shepard's presence on this planet long before this meeting. [ There's quiet amusement in his voice, almost lost under the exhaustion. ] Neither of us were being particularly secretive.

Edited 2017-03-21 10:31 (UTC)

I see that now.

[ Saren quieted at the accusation and the heat in Nihlus' voice. For once, he didn't have anything biting to say and there was a crack in the composure he tried to maintain. The visions which started his descent on to this path flashed through his eyes. Of civilizations burning, collapsing, torn apart into nothing. Was it true? Did what he try so hard to prevent come to pass anyway? Did he fail? Did Shepard fail? It was like he could taste the deaths he was responsible for. He had said that everything they loved would perish. Was he right, after all. ]

And I know you're both here now, so it hardly matters.

[ Saren sounded equally exhausted, feeling the weight of his actions for the first time. ]

Shepard, you can show yourself. I'd recognize the smell of you anywhere.

[There’s a few beats of silence following Saren’s jab, and from deep in her hide, Shepard twitches a grim smile at the attempt. On a Reaper scale, you’re the smallest fish I’ve had to fry.

In tandem, Nihlus and Saren’s TABs light up with a perfectly location-scrubbed message from one ID: JANE SHEPARD. Haptic holo keys were so blissfully silent for messaging.]

Pretty fond of my current angle on the situation.

[Dramatically waltz out, revealing her position and losing the immediate upper hand, regardless of outcome?

nah]

[ Nihlus automatically flicks out his TAB at the cheery little 'PING' of notification. He looks at the message, then looks up at Saren before offering him a blase shrug.

Don't look at him, guy. You killed him before he became her mentor and took any sort of authority Nihlus might have had along with it. ]

She probably won't shoot you.

[ Probably.

He sobers a little after that though, eying Saren critically for a few wordless seconds. ]

... Saren. We have a lot to talk about- so much to talk about.

[ A falter here. Another stop to sort out what to say. ]

But the information you'll gain isn't something I want in the hands of a potential Indoctrinated. If at all possible, I'd like to do an assessment on your cybernetics.

[ So there. A check-up in return for information. Not an ultimatum Nihlus wanted to push on a man who'd just been pulled through the Ingress. Not an ultimatum he ever wanted to put on Saren, and especially not with the reaction he'd just had to the news of what the Reapers had done.

But Nihlus is not risking it. Especially not with how cagey the old bastard was being about what he remembered before his arrival.

How did you die, Arterius? he wonders quietly, mandibles tight against his jaw. Which death did you choose? ]

[ Shepard's decision to remain hidden didn't bother Saren. He just wanted the confirmation that she was the source Nihlus had, and now he had it, among other info. He assumed Shepard and Nihlus must have been here for around the same duration of time. Nihlus trusted Shepard, clearly, and Shepard trusted Nihlus enough to let him make this call. Not only that, but Shepard's trust in Nihlus was evident in the way she stayed out of the way.

Maybe what he said wouldn't sound so unbelievable. ]

Possibly the most sensible thing I've heard you say so far.

[ Saren scoffed, but he didn't sound like he objected, strangely enough. ]

If you're expecting resistance to such an ultimatum, you'll find none. I would have done my own assessments eventually.

[ Yes, Saren's casually suggesting he would have started to run experiments on his own body. So it's probably better that he had supervision. ]

But I imagine you won't be satisfied until I give you answers.

[ Saren paused. There's really no point dragging it out since he could guess time passed differently for Shepard, as well. ]

The last thing I remember is thanking Shepard. For...showing me the errors of my ways, and that I still had a will of my own.

[Ah.

That was something. Whether this was her timeline's Saren or not (doubtful – there was bound to be minuscule discrepancies here and there), he had chosen the same path – his final, finest act as a Spectre, to an audience of three. Adjusting her earpiece, she leans in to the scope, watching the older Turian's face intently.

That he mentioned thanking her was worthy of note – rather than claim the suicide as his own personal success. A will of his own, indeed. They had never seen eye to eye—likely never would—but there was something there worthy of respect. One-handed, she taps out a quick message to the two.]

Glad you don’t remember what happened next.

[ The first iteration of the story Nihlus had heard came from the clone. She'd told him that Saren was killed trying to take over the Citadel, that Sovereign had controlled him completely.

The second iteration of the story had come when Shepard had dropped off the head wrap. It'd been mistakenly delivered to her, thanks to the strange nature of their on-ship mail system. He'd learned about Saren's sacrifice then. Her reports and the codex filled in a lot of the gaps.

He hadn't known Saren's last words.

Despite his best efforts to suppress his reactions, Nihlus' claws still dig into the sleeves of his jacket, hard enough to cut through the leather. ]

I'm... relieved that you agree, then. [ The quaver creeps back into his voice before Nihlus can stop it. He swallows the dissonance before carefully continuing. ] I have the tools needed for everything in my workshop, including a fabricator if we need anything else. We'll have to find some way to translate Reaper programming into a language the rest of the equipment can work with- but that should be feasible.

[ Shepard's ping gets a glance- and Nihlus draws in a another slow breath. ]

Right. Like I said, [ he shrugs quietly. ] There's a lot we need to talk about.

I overestimated the control I had over the situation. I won't make the same mistake twice.

[ He thought his facility in Virmire was enough to protect him from full indoctrination. But Sovereign's indoctrination was there the whole time, slowly eating away at his ideals and values, corrupting them. He was so used to Sovereign's influence that he wasn't sure he knew what to do with his freedom or if even trusted his new state of self. ]

I confess I'm intrigued by what you have in mind. Is the tech here that advanced?

[ Saren seemed to become still again over Shepard's message. He could guess what she was referring to but he didn't think it'd happen to him. Then again, he was so sure that Sovereign saw him as useful, didn't he? ]

But first, we must assess the risk. I want the same answers you want, Nihlus. Perhaps even more. I need to know if there's any remnants of the indoctrination.

[ What would happen if he died here, he wondered. The same thing that Shepard implied? The idea of that disturbed Saren. ]

Nobody could have anticipated that. We could only prepare for the worst.

[Coming from Saren, it was practically an apology.]

Agreed on risk assessment. I've got some code fragments that might ease the translation process.

If things come up clean, maybe I'll even tell you what happened to the Reapers.

[Reaper disagreement had practically been Shepard and Saren's bread and butter — time to discuss the final results.]

Tech here's a bit of a mishmash, really. You've really advanced technology interspersed with some pretty antiquated oddities, interspersed with what's- essentially- magic as far as I can make out.

[ Considering the fact that Saren was chatting it up with Dorian, he'll probably find out more about that last bit in greater detail pretty soon.

Gingerly peeling his claws out of his sleeves, Nihlus lets his hands drop back to his sides. Saren can probably see the odd flash of pink under the leather on his right arm before it resettles.

To Shepard, Nihlus asks, ]

Think you could send those to me on my omni-tool?

[ And then to Saren, expression carefully neutral now, ]

Everything's pretty much ready to go. When do you want to start?

You've my permission to begin whenever you like. Why delay?

[ The sooner he had answers, the sooner he could start to trust his own state of mind. Maybe then, he could work toward some sort of reconciliation with Nihlus. ]

[ Well, that went a lot smoother than Nihlus thought it would. No one had been shot, no obvious signs of lasting Indoctrination and they didn't have to knock Saren out and put him into the trunk.

Speaking of... ]

I've got a rental nearby, [ he says, jerking his head in the vague direction of said ride. ] Let's head out.

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