thisavrou | 01 | [Video]

[The video opens with a myriad of dizzying images: a few quick, blurry shakes that indicate the owner of the TAB has no idea how to turn it on, a couple of glimpses at the ground as they spin the device to try and find a button, a palm as it strikes down on the screen.

Clearly someone isn't used to such technology. They even mutter a:]

Jesus, how does this thing--?

[Sam jumps a little as he turns the TAB to face him, only to see that it's already recording. And what a sight he is to behold, with dirt on his clothes and blood on his nose and down his left arm. He looks like he could go for a nice hot bath, or like he's just come out of a jungle.]

Holy shit, okay. Okay, uh--hey.

[That's what you're supposed to say, right? Sam gives a small little uncommitted half wave with his free hand, like he's not exactly sure if that's what he should do.]

I'm not sure if anyone is actually on the other end of this, but if there are others out there, I could use a little help. I mean I realize I'm not exactly in Kansas anymore, but space? A whole other planet? Come on, somebody's gotta be busting my balls here, right? At least buy a guy a drink and let him have a cigarette first before you throw that at him.

[He pauses as if expecting some kind of laugh track or other response, but then continues shortly after.]

Also, I--[He shifts uncomfortably, considering what he should say. It takes him a little longer than before to speak again, but once he does, he looks directly at the camera.] I'm looking for my brother. He's about this tall, he's got bro--oh, shit!

[Which is the last curse everyone hears as he accidentally loses his grip on his TAB and it tumbles to the floor and turns off. He'll get the hang of this eventually.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[Oh they they it, he's just behind on the times on memes.]

How weird we talking? Like pineapple weird or anchovies weird? They at least have pepperoni, right?

[Priorities. He chuckles at the second question though, like he's laughing at himself. It's kind of a loaded question to ask, even if it should be simple.]

Yeah, about as close as two brothers can be. [Well, considering everything that's happened.] Practically raised him myself. [Okay time to change the subject] There isn't some sort of directory or something here, right? Some kind of guest list or information booth or anything like that?

Like the pineapple talks weird-- no, I'm kidding. But it does move. And yeah, pepperoni is just pepperoni.

[he's quiet for a moment and damn, he shouldn't have asked.] So you'd know the indian burns on his ass anywhere, right. There might be one, on the TAB. A directory, that is.

Woah, woah, woah--it moves? Hate to break it to you, but that's not pineapple you've been eating.

Well, I may have put some of them there myself, but yeah. If I had to look at his ass, I could probably identify him in a line of suspects. How long you been here for?

It ain't alien dick that's for sure. It's alien pineapple.

Pffft-- yeah, you're his brother alright. A couple months now I think.

You so sure about that? I mean they could just be advertising it as alien pineapple and you wouldn't ever know.

Jesus, it seems like everyone's been here for at least that long. Guess I better get my space legs adjusted.

I'm not but I've chosen to just accept it, kinda like all the junk they put in foods at home.

You'd better or you'll slip right through the cracks.

Probably just bad as bad as those fast food places. Gotta say, I wouldn't mind a good burger right now, though.

Got any advice?

You don't seem the type to worry about what parts of chicken are used in chicken nuggets.

Don't judge a book or a tentacle by its cover, don't get involved in anything that might get you killed....try not to piss off mind readers.

Can't be worse than what they serve in prison, right?

Jesus. They've got a real motley crew here, huh? They really got mind readers in this place?

At least they kinda try with the mac n cheese in there, or so I've heard.

There're really mind readers. Two people, dunno about any of the more exotic life here.

I wouldn't know. Never got lucky enough to get mac n cheese where I was. Really, it was a good day if you got soggy rice and beans to eat.

Holy shit. You know any other circumstance, and I would have said you were shitting with me. I guess I better be careful about what I think around here.

What were you in for?

Yup, and also what you say about payin' rent. [this sounds really Specific]

Which time?

[He chuckles.]

My most recent time was--well, let's just say it was a bit of a misunderstanding. Got me in there for a few good years, though.

[Sucks, but he's out now.]

Sounds like somebody had some trouble with their landlord.

You mean your MO ain't the same? What kinda criminal are you.

A misunderstanding, right. Take it you weren't squeaky clean enough to get some hotshot to prove you innocent huh.

Not exaaactly.

Well, I guess if you're looking for some jail time getting caught stealing a few things is a good way to do it.

[Such is life. One he's apparently used to. But he's going to not so casually avoid that second remark. It's a touchy subject.]

What, you insult an alien's mother or something?

Pretty sure the point's not to get caught.

[don't think he doesn't notice, but he doesn't pursue]

It wasn't an alien or a mother?

Yeah, well, sometimes that's easier said than done.

Who'd you piss off then?

Right cause the specials on PBS tend to do that.

Uhhh a teenaged....telepath....

Pretty sure there's a Sesame Street episode out there somewhere on that.

Holy shit. [Although he definitely sounds amused.] And you're still alive?

Did the bird steal a seed or something by accident?

[he's definitely puffing his chest out:] Yuuup. I'm just that hard boiled.

Or the guy that lives in the trash can took something he wasn't supposed to. Either way, they probably did this whole thing about how stealing is bad.

[He chuckles.]

Better than being runny, right? What did you even do to piss them off?

I bet that was the first lesson-- nah my dude Oscar just wants to live life he doesn't have time for that.

That's right! [its like he Appreciates that someone gets it] I don't remember what I did but y'know.

Guess I missed it when I was a kid. But with all that free food, who wouldn't want to live like that?

I'll have to remember to use my please and thank yous when dealing with my landlords then.

Slippery rotten banana peels? No thanks.

Also maybe bribe them?

Least you got your fruit intake. Could be living off of nothing but maggoty gruel instead.

What, not to use their telepathy on me?

Re: voice;

brokeassgoing - 2017-04-17 05:38 (UTC) - Expand