thisavrou | [Video]

[A]

So, listen--

[Anybody who pays attention to any of Elizabeth's network activity probably notices something odd about this: it's a video. She uses audio only almost as a rule. But maybe she's not really thinking. It sure looks like she's not up for much deep thinking, if the unfocused way she keeps looking around the bar she's in is any indication. There's a glass in front of her, but who knows how much she's actually had.]

Who here... knows a thing or two 'bout 'attachment'? Because God, I could talk about it for days. About how great it is at first, but then in the end, it utterly destroys whoever it manages to get in its steely little claws. [This is accompanied by a very appropriate 'claw gesture' with all nine and a half of her fingers.]

Because the only thing that's ever constant... [She has an amused little laugh at the word, like it's a private joke.] ...is change? Who wrote that... Hey! [She snaps her fingers over at someone behind her.] Who wrote 'the only change is--' No, 'the only constant is change'? Who wrote that when you're from? ...ah nevermind, you probably couldn't read your own name. [She turns back to the camera, disgruntled noises coming from the insulted party. But Elizabeth doesn't seem concerned.]

What I'm saying is-- nobody warned me, so now... [She points into the camera.] I'm warning you. You start liking somebody, start thinking you have a home someplace, and someday, somehow--

[The camera jerks as Elizabeth takes a punch to her temple. Somebody didn't like being called an idiot by someone half their size. Something close to the camera glows blue and then Elizabeth's got a beer bottle in her hand and she's screaming bloody murder. The feed swings wildly with her hand and cuts out with the sound of breaking glass.]

[B]

[An indeterminate amount of time later...]

[Elizabeth is back at her apartment with a split lip and a bruise under her eye, but she hardly looks embarrassed.]

I meant what I said. Nobody warns you until you're in pain. Consider yourself warned.

[She looks like she could say more, but apparently decides it would just be a rehash. So she turns the feed off.]

((OOC: Feel free to action-ify the first prompt, bar brawl for all. Otherwise Elizabeth will reply to any immediate reactions/messages/jeering the next day!))

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[So busted.]

Your technique could use some work.

How extensive are your injuries?

I'm fine, Thane. I made it home, I didn't die during the night, I'm fine.

[She's really not fine. Physically she'll be okay, but she's about to pop a gasket and there's no de-powering field to cover her this time. But she'll say her technique is fine and she's fine until her TAB burns out, because it's easier.]

Hm.

[That's a lot of "I'm fines". Is she trying to convince him, or herself?]

That doesn't really answer my question...

[For the record, Thane's not very good at the whole "stern dad" thing. He's probably coming across as more "politely worried" than anything else.]

[Both, definitely both.]

I'm banged up, that's it. They went for my face, mostly, but one of them kicked me pretty hard in the ribs. Alright? Nothing that's going to be permanent, so...

[So don't sound so sternworried...]

Well, that's a relief.

[He pauses to consider her poor black-and-blue face for a moment before adding:]

That said, I hope you're not planning on making this a habit.

...no, I'm not.

[She sounds properly chastised now, or at least concerned that Thane is going to have reason to start worrying. He didn't deserve that, not after everything he'd done for her.]

I shouldn't even have been there. I haven't been to a bar in... forever.

[While he may not have initiated the conversation with the purpose of chastising her (he's not her father, after all), he can't help but feel relief that he seems to have done so anyway, at least judging by her words and tone just now.]

What prompted the sudden change in routine? You're missing someone?

[His gravely voice is a mixture of sympathetic and curious. He's here if she needs someone to talk to, but he'll understand if she prefers to shut him out, too.]

...I don't know why I'm here anymore. [She's remarkably self-aware about it, but she's been here before. Not knowing why she's alive, what the point is, why she keeps moving around. With the Moira, she had a purpose at least. The daily grind isn't doing anything for her.]

I've felt this way before, and when I did... things happened. Things I'm ashamed of, and never want to do again. I'm afraid that I'm going right back to where I was then.

I see...Living without a sense of purpose is not easy.

[He hears you there, Elizabeth.]

If there is a path you've walked before which you do not wish to travel again, if nothing else you have the previous experience to inform your future avoidance.

...And, if you wish it, you have the support of at least one friend.

[He means himself. Just. For clarification.]

I wish I had your self-discipline, Thane. But my feelings... they will always pull me along no matter how hard logic pulls on me. [Anger, sadness, loneliness, they'd all convinced her that using a child to lure Comstock out to his death was acceptable. It hadn't been, she knows that now, but part of her feels she wouldn't have ever gone to Rapture if she'd made her peace with Comstock and let him live out his short, miserable life with his regret. But she'd been too angry.]

[She closes her eyes to think, then alters the security on the conversation-- making it private.]

I've told you what I can do, Thane. I'm dangerous when I'm angry, when I'm out of control. If I get too far gone... whatever it takes, you have to stop me. Before I destroy both of these planets because I'm incapable of controlling myself. Please. It's important to me.

[He's quiet for a long moment after she makes her request, head bowed and eyes downcast, before he looks back up.

Then he's quiet for a brief moment longer, as he fiddles with the security setting she's engaged and adds a few more layers of encryption. Just to be safe.]

If such a thing becomes necessary, then I will utilize all of my skills to ensure you do no harm, although I will not do so happily.

[She's a good person, and he likes her a lot. He doesn't want to have to be the one to cut her life short. But, since she's asked, he has no choice but to oblige her. It's what you do for friends.]

How likely do you think that is to happen?

[Later on, she'll probably realize how unfair it is of her to ask Thane to stop whatever insane rampage she might find herself in down the line. In the moment, everything seems to be impossible to overcome and the pressure is mounting. She doesn't have faith in her own self control, she truly believes that sometimes she forgets herself and her moral compass and just... becomes a destructive force. Willingly.]

[It could be better to die, once and for all, instead of live with the guilt of taking more lives with her ability. But what about what Thane has to live with...?]

[There's a moment of hesitation in her eyes and then she just nods, unable to look at the camera for a moment. She's ashamed she even asked, now.]

There were... timelines I saw, where I felt abandoned. And the more time passed, the easier it was to tell myself that compassion, and friendship, and human decency just didn't exist. I razed cities, knowing very well what I was doing and how wrong it was, but I couldn't stop. I couldn't make myself stop.

I'd think that knowing that lesson now would keep me from it. But we don't always turn away from the things we know are bad for us, do we? Especially if the bad things do something for us. [That bar fight hadn't been so bad, honestly. Adrenaline rush, blood drawn, and she gets to walk around with bruised knuckles daring anybody with her eyes to go for round two.]

So... however likely you think I am to indulge in things that I know are horrific and unforgivable, that's probably how likely it is.

[Video]

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