video;

[sketchycharacter]

['sup everyone. It's your friendly historianerd here today, speaking into his TAB from...somewhere kinda high, judging by the background.]

I've been doing some exploring in Region Five lately, and I think I figured something out—everyone who came from the Moira, we're not the first humans to get here. [He laughs.] Well, obviously—there are other people who look like us. But it's not some sci-fi TV show thing where they're just aliens who happened to look the same. Check it out.

[He angles the TAB camera around, and it becomes clear that high is high—not skyscraper-level, but Nate has scaled some centrally-located building with a good view of various streets.]

Over there—Victorian houses right next to Edwardian ones, like the block is showing the passage of time. Couple streets over [the camera swings around] and you've got the late Italian. That's just the tip of the iceberg when it comes to architecture.

And on some of the nicer streets and in parks there's Colombian statuary from mid-1700s, some Greek stuff—I did some sketches if anyone wants to see. [No one does. Probably.] it's the real thing, too, the actual style and not some fake imitation bullshit.

It's not that surprising, right? Ingresses existed before we ever showed up on the Moira, so they probably grabbed people from Earth before we ended up here, too. The point is, this planet isn't just a crossroads of culture, it's a crossroads of history, too. If people brought their architecture and their art, they brought all kinds of other knowledge too, things that might not have made it into the historical record, at least not in detail. We should take advantage of that. I've already seen one library that's as big as the Moira's, if not bigger—I'm gonna go exploring there once I get down from here.

[So this is basically an overly excited PSA for the local Kauto library, apparently.]

Comments

[gentlemenpreferblondes]

Good. Because you wouldn't like the defeat. [Or the fact that he'd need to carry her out of the place if they really were getting into something.]

Besides, that's not the reason why you're here. Right?

[sketchycharacter]

Part of me's still wondering why I'm here, but you're right.

So. You've got a story, huh? Lay it on me.

[gentlemenpreferblondes]

Yup. Sure do.

[Gulp.]

A lot, actually. So you want to hear a good one, bad one that's kinda hilarious? Or maybe some weird truths about our previous crewmembers?

[sketchycharacter]

I don't need to know that much about them. [Well, sometimes he does.] Give me bad and funny.

ok this is nsfw

[gentlemenpreferblondes]

Ok. So, do you know the diamond store in region one? The one that looks pretty shabby on the outside. I met the owner some weeks ago. He's a pretty sturdy guy with weird, grey-ish skin that looks like rock near around the neck. He has actually embed some jewels into it. Anyway, I let him take me out. I got pair of nice earrings out if it. [Spoken like a true gold digger.]

So, after the date we go to one of the local hotels to finish the night so to speak. You'd think that big guy like that who likes rocks wouldn't have troubles in the bed? [She pauses to take another drink, grimacing at the memory.] Well, it turns out he was compensating. And a lot. Poor guy couldn't get it up at all.

[sketchycharacter]

[Oh, he definitely knows that store. Nate's not a jewel thief by trade, but mentally casing the joint(s) as he goes is habitual at this point.]

Yikes. Well, it's probably not that surprising. Don't tell anyone I said this, but as a guy, I can confirm a lot of us do that overcompensation thing. [But not him, of course!!!] Did you let him try to preserve his ego or crush it into dust?

[gentlemenpreferblondes]

Trust me. I know how guys work. [She's lived most of her life in male-filled environment after all. And then there might be some things that Nate's not caught up on with her.]

The former, unfortunately. The guy was more than twice my size so I thought better play it safe if I wanted to keep the earrings. But that was only the top of the iceberg. He didn't seem to think it was any problem at all and attempted to finish it like that, dick soft like an overripe banana.

[sketchycharacter]

[Well, that's...sobering, that she'd need to take the guy's size into consideration.]

Okay, one: that's a horribly vivid description, please never use it again. Two: that guy is either an idiot or way more hopeful than anyone should be, yeesh.

[gentlemenpreferblondes]

Right? It was so bad that I still don't know whether I should cry or laugh at that. Well, either way. I've hooked up with him few times more and it hasn't gotten any better. [Well, at least her jewel collection has grown nicely.

She finishes the drink and holds the glass up.]

Another one. This time bring me martini.

[sketchycharacter]

Yeah, sure. Dry?

[Eh, she'll get what she gets as long as it can be recognized as a martini. It only takes a couple of minutes to bring her drink over, along with another beer for him.]

Why bother going back to that guy then? There's got to be a better way to get earrings. Hell, I could steal you some if you wanted them that bad.

[gentlemenpreferblondes]

[And here comes the first hint that she might have exaggerated some things. Like her tolerance for alcohol. She tastes the drink and immediately grimaces at the bitter taste.]

Ah, well. He comes back to me not the other way around. And, really why not? [She shrugs] I always happen to be free when I bump into him.

[sketchycharacter]

Seems depressing. [He shrugs.] But if it works for you, I guess go for it.

[gentlemenpreferblondes]

Now don't cry for my sake, dear. [a flat tone] It's not that bad and things are much easier if you just hand over your ass for dry humping than deal with hassle of trying to refuse the guy. Besides, I got plenty of good ones, too.

[sketchycharacter]

Wasn't planning on it.

[It still leaves him a bit uneasy, though.]

And I hope so. You deserve better than a jerk like that.

[gentlemenpreferblondes]

Weren't you listening? [she laughs] I told you I had plenty stories to tell. This was just hilariously bad one.

But I might take your offer some other time. If you're any good, that is. I already know one thief.

[sketchycharacter]

Hey, I'm plenty good. Used to make my living doing that kind of thing.

Who's your other thief friend?

[gentlemenpreferblondes]

Still, that doesn't tell me much about it. In New York there's plenty people who get by pickpocketing tourists.

Peter Max-- [She pauses to hide a silent burb with her hand. Damn, this is strong drink] Maximoff. He once emptied a museum for me. Literally.

[sketchycharacter]

Just one museum? That's cute.

[gentlemenpreferblondes]

Well, there wasn't much to do on that planet. You couldn't even have a smoke since place was super flammable.

The way he talks sounds like he's done more back at home.

[sketchycharacter]

So have I.

[He raises both his hands off the tabletop.]

Not that I'm trying to compete. Just professional pride. Sounds like he's pretty good if he did it alone—I guess the speed helps.

[gentlemenpreferblondes]

Pfft. [And she laughs.]

Professional pride? What, is there like a guild of thieves or something? Be sure to invite Peter to it.

And speaking of the speed, it sure does help. Believe me, he's right when he says he's the fastest one around. If you know what I mean.

[sketchycharacter]

[Nate winces. He feels for Peter.]

That's just sad.

[gentlemenpreferblondes]

Ah, nonono. [She wiggles her finger.]

It's not too bad. He recovers pretty fast too, you know. Plus he knows how to make things fun. So, yes. It could definitely be worse.

[sketchycharacter]

[He doesn't need to hear that, but then she hasn't needed to hear some of the stuff he's said.]

Well, here's to him being speedy then.

[He holds his glass up to clink against hers in a toast.]

[gentlemenpreferblondes]

[And she raises her own glass to meet his.]

May he learn to best lover eventually.

[She laughs even though she's only being half-joking here. While either of them have never really talked about each other or about their 'thing' going on it's hardly a secret.]

But really, sometimes I don't get married people. Doesn't it get boring having only one? [Not entirely honest question. Of course she thinks she can see the appeal in a relationship like that but at the same time it's been far too distant and unattainable to her to experience.]