On Peaceful Relations [VIDEO]

[onlytwoexpressions]

Greetings former crewmembers of the Moira. This is Ultra Magnus, Formerly Duly Appointed Enforcer of the Tyrest Accord.

I am aware that the last two months have been rather trying, and I would like to thank everyone for remaining on the best behavior. Having come into contact with the Savrii, I felt that perhaps it might be best to offer up a 'crash course' on beginning peaceful and amicable relations with new races and species of newly discovered worlds.

Now, I'm aware that many of you may find a 'lecture' to be unwarranted. And to that, I say I strongly disagree.

I apologize for the strong language. But this is of utmost importance.

On that note, I have compiled a seminar that I hope that many, if not all, of you will attend. It will last a paltry ten hours, but I promise you the time will positively fly. Especially when we get into the segment about 'recognizing basic sentient rights.'

I don't wish to ruin anything, but at the risk of spoiling the fun, I'd like to say that I purposefully left two whole hours open during that segment for round table discussion.

It's a little unorthodox but I've been told I need to loosen up.

For those still waffling on whether or not you should attend, and for the life of me I can't understand why you would, I offer a preview:

[He clears his vocalizer.]

Now, the first step to beginning a peaceful and amicable relationship with a race one has never encountered before is to employ the use of the 'Universal greeting.' I'm sure you know what it is, but for those who don't repeat after me:

BAH WEEP GRANNAH WEEP NINNI BONG.

[He waits for the repeat, then continues.]

If you'd like to find out what to do next, I strongly urge you to attend my seminar.

Comments

video;

[redshitlord]

Did you... literally just make random dial tone noises into the comm???

Re: video;

[onlytwoexpressions]

'Random dial tone noises?'

I'm not sure what you're referring to Sideswipe. Perhaps your equipment is malfunctioning.

video;

[redshitlord]

No, the only thing malfunctioning is you. I think you actually made a joke in there.

Somewhere.

[Video]

[crankycat]

Are you really expecting people to show up for that lecture?

Re: [Video]

[onlytwoexpressions]

Well, I should hope so.

It's going to be incredibly informative.

[Video]

[crankycat]

I suppose, but I doubt any of them have the attention span for it.

[Ten hours isa long time, and most of these are organics.]

I'm not coming, even if it could be entertaining to see how many hold out. [Or, you know, fall asleep during it.]

[VIDEO BECAUSE UNIVERSAL MEANS UNIVERSAL DANGIT]

[patchricide]

Wait, there are still quadrants that use that greeting?

[She clears her throat and tries to regain her composure.] That is to say... have you met other species, and employed this greeting yourself? How well does it actually work?

[VIDEO]

[onlytwoexpressions]

I should say it's gotten me through several tight spots that could have easily turned hostile, had the greeting been misused or mispronounced.

It's served me well for thousands of years.

[VIDEO]

[patchricide]

I see. It's not something that was still used by our galaxy or any of our allied worlds, so... I've only heard about it in lectures. And here I thought it was a history lesson.

Plachu, the next time we see Coran? Remind me that I owe him an apology.

Is it that important to get the pronunciation correct? Surely, not every species can make the sounds the same way.

[video]

[purramedic]

[Some of this sounds like something Anders would totally be on board with. The rest of it... sounds incredibly weird.]

I haven't heard anyone say that before. Is it really that common here?

Re: [video]

[onlytwoexpressions]

I haven't seen it used on the ship, but I'll have you know it's recognized throughout civilized space.

I admit, it's a bit antiquated, however. At least by several thousand years. But if more civilizations have kept their galactic standards in tact, it should still serve us well.

Video

[beautifulspaceraptor]

Well. That's a new greeting to me.

[ Nihlus is smothering all notes of amusement in his undertones. It's rude. But it seriously sounded like a human trying to speak Geth or something.

Fortunately, 10 hour lectures isn't anything new after you've dealt with Elcors. ]

I'll try and attend to the best of my abilities, but my species requires breaks for food and other basic biological concerns every three hours or so. Additionally, I have a lot of work to do in engineering.

Re: Video

[onlytwoexpressions]

Oh, of course. There are scheduled 'organic breaks' throughout the entire seminar. Though, I am glad you will attempt to the discussion. As for the greeting, it may be something of a relic, but it serves its purposes well.

Engineering? Are you working on a project?

voice;

[brokeassgoing]

Does it include a bong because I might go just for that.

And will there be snacks?

Re: voice;

[onlytwoexpressions]

That doesn't make sense.

You're using 'bong' as a noun when it's clearly a present participle.

It's a rookie mistake though. I don't expect every organic to be able to properly conjugate intergalactic speech.

Video;

[gentlemenpreferblondes]

Also another one concerned about snack breaks. And another thing: have you prepared chairs and pillows because I am not going stand for ten hours.

Re: Video;

[onlytwoexpressions]

Do not worry. There will be ample seating and appropriately timed breaks for sustenance.

[video]

[10_20_15_5_50]

Y'know what? Count me in.

[Even at ten hours, this would've been welcome within the first week of 'surprise, you're in space.']

Re: [video]

[onlytwoexpressions]

Excellent.

May I have a name? I'd like to assign seating.

video;

[shiro2hero]

That's... certainly a greeting I've never heard before.

On any planet.

Re: video;

[onlytwoexpressions]

How many planets have you been to?

TEXT

[iseedeadbees]

Considering I literally have nothing better to do at the moment, I might attend.

For a few minutes.

Re: TEXT

[onlytwoexpressions]

I strongly urge that you attend for longer than just a few minutes. There is quite a lot of information to cover.

[farmboyjedi]

It does sound like it could be useful.

That actually sounds a little like something I'd hear from my droid friend back home...the greeting, I mean.

It's good to meet you, by the way.

[onlytwoexpressions]

'Droid' friend?

It's good to meet you as well.