audio; date of the sad party

[grandpaladin]

Ah, now it is working! Wonderful!

[The huge, booming voice on the other end of the TAB pauses for a moment, gathering up his thoughts. And when he speaks again, you can almost hear the grin on his face.]

Hello. To you I have not met, I am Reinhardt Wilhelm. And I, too, have come to give some words in this time. When we are still mourning the loss of our space homes. Our real homes. And our friends.

[He clears his throat. What he says next is pretty cheesy, but there's no doubt he believes in what he says, completely.]

Things can be destroyed. But as long as the people, as long as we are strong, my friends, we can always rebuild.

And, if you find yourself in need of some strength -- [Here, Reinhardt laughs, though it's not his usual, booming one, it's more solemn.] -- call for me. And I will be your shield. I have strength to spare.

...

I just winked there. You cannot see it, but I did.

[click.]

Comments

audio;

[brokeassgoing]

What, you gonna crowd and comfort us all in your probably giant mantits? That'll solve it all?

audio;

[grandpaladin]

That sounds very, very unlikely to help anything.

[brokeassgoing]

I don't know, some people'll pay a hefty fine for that. Not me, mind, but some people. You just said you'd be our shield y'know.

[grandpaladin]

I was speaking literally...

[brokeassgoing]

A HUMAN SHIELD?!? DUDE SIGN ME THE FUCK UP!

....You don't bite people's faces off and say its a kiss on the cheek do ya?

[grandpaladin]

[This would be the moment where Reinhardt sends along a picture -- probably taken by Lucio or Angela -- of him in full armor. Hammer in hand. He's probably posing dramatically.]

I would say no -- that has never happened. Hard to bite through the helmet!

[brokeassgoing]

[do you hear that excited squeal-- how can you not that's right in your ear]

HOOOLLLLY SHIT! LOOKIT YOU! ONE HARD BOILED MOTHERFUCKER.

Okay next question, were ya born in a test tube in some underground kingergarden? These are normal questions on any resume, cross my heart.

[grandpaladin]

[Jeeeezus Chris Weepinbell.]

Hah! Not hardly! Only Germany, my friend! German engineering and lucky genetics!

[brokeassgoing]

Germany huh! It's almost like we're related but only in the hardboiled part and the possibly German part. So what's it gonna cost to get ya to look after two people?

[grandpaladin]

Cost?

Why would you think it would cost something? We are all in this together, aren't we?

[brokeassgoing]

Because this kinda thing costs-- its the way the world works, even alien worlds. We may be in this together but we all got our own goals.

[grandpaladin]

I would not ask for payment for doing the right thing.

That would be... dishonorable!

[brokeassgoing]

Do you...do you not know how the world works? Money makes the world go round. Here, we don't got that so its trading I guess.

Honor has nothing to do with living.

[grandpaladin]

That may be how your world works. But it is not how I work.

[He smiles. Big, honest, and open.]

If I can help, then I should. And I will. It is simple for me!

[brokeassgoing]

But does currency still work in your world?

[he's frowning and you can proooobably hear it]

If only the rest of us had it that simple huh.

[grandpaladin]

Yes... and there, I would accept some sort of reward. But we aren't there.

[Reinhardt just doesn't see the problem here man.]

We are here. Where it is that simple. If you need help, please, tell me.

I will do what I can. The alternative is geology! [As he just. Laughs. Like this is a hilarious joke.]

[brokeassgoing]

You're weird. Rocks might suit you, if that's your thing. [being rock headed.........]

Well if a little girl with wings is ever in trouble, a little blonde thing, you help her no matter what. Throw grannies if you have to.

[grandpaladin]

It isn't. That's the joke.

... Of course. If I am in a position nearby, I will absolutely do it.

[brokeassgoing]

It's a crappy one. Not even a 1 outta 10.

Alright, good. Seriously, she's probably the top outta most of these clowns so just, remember that.

[grandpaladin]

Very well then.

If it is in my power, I will look after the girl.

[brokeassgoing]

Thanks a lot, Rocky.

[yeah get a load of that. thats you]

[grandpaladin]

[He bellows out that laugh again -- delighted and amused all in one.]

But of course, my friend! Of course!

[brokeassgoing]

So you do this a lot? Body guarding shit?

[grandpaladin]

It was not my original job. But lately? It seems to be a good use of my time.

[brokeassgoing]

I can see that yeah, you'd make a mint if you made actual bank. What'd you do before this? Office job?