☆ video (backdated a few days before the storm)

[otiosity]

[The video feed flicks on to show Hawke's face, cheerful, as ever but the video feed is slightly bumpy, like she's currently in motion. Indeed, upon closer inspection, she's clearly moving backwards somewhere in the engineering room.]

Hello everyone. We're all a lovely community of people from all sorts of places and powers, so I've come to reach out for your advice and expertise in a place that I am completely unfamiliar with. It's like stumbling about in the dark with your eyes shut and then blindfolded on top of that.

Please tell a mage how exactly to speak robot? And don't say "make beeping noises", that sounds a bit rude and I've already tried it. Because I think this one-

[She flicks the feed to show a funny looking robot shaped a bit like an L with a camera/claw hand face following her around, beeping cheerfully, with a bundle of wires in its grip.]

I think it fancies me. And I've tried to explain, you're machine, I'm a mage our love can never be. It would end in nothing but sadness and sparks but I don't think-[There's a jump as the robot gets close and she quickly takes a large step back. For all her grins, she does seem a bit... uneasy] I don't think it's coming across. So pointers are much appreciated.

And I wouldn't have to bother any of you with this if someone, Tony Stark, would control his other employees. This is clearly... some sort of... [Her face scrunches as she looks for the right words from his dictionary to use] Hach Are violation.

Comments

[otiosity]

You're like the rich and lavish father that I never had, Dorian. Only the best for me.

[Literally never had as her father was poor as shit.]

[liberaltus]

Only I'm a bit on the young side to be your father, but certainly no expense spared, finest wine served. All for you, Hawke, all for you.

[Just think about it. You don't even have to wear a dress.]

[otiosity]

You're a metaphorical father spending everything for his only beautiful daughter's wedding. Alas, you think she is ready to be married, but on the night of my wedding I run off and... I dunno, join a Qunari mercenary band or something.

[liberaltus]

And your metaphorical father is very disappointed that you have decided to join a band of Qunari mercenaries. You could find other ways of hurting me without compromising the family, like stealing all of my wine.

[otiosity]

You never let me have any fun, metaphorical father! I hate this! And I hate you!

[liberaltus]

Well, Metaphorical daughter, you can just go to your room and not come out until you've improved your attitude. No magic for a month.

[otiosity]

You never even tried to understand me!

And now I throw myself on my bed and weep hysterically.

[liberaltus]

And this is why I would make a terrible father, poor parental examples and crying unruly children...not exactly my area of expertise.

Needless to say your other metaphorical father will have to deal with it. I'm just the money.

[otiosity]

Since he's metaphorical, I want my other father to be a Qunari.

[liberaltus]

Now you're just punishing me for sending you to your room. This is not how it works.

[otiosity]

I don't make the metaphorical rules.

[liberaltus]

You simply bend them enough to arouse my nausea. Well played Champion.

[otiosity]

Thank you, thank you. I'll challenge you to Wicked Grace when I get a deck.

[liberaltus]

If you play Wicked Grace the same way you play with metaphors, it should be interesting.