thisavrou | [video]; backdated to the 14th

[The camera starts out focused on Nick's face; he looks a little frazzled, but is managing to keep a slightly strained grin plastered across his muzzle all the same.]

Hey, so I know everyone's busy discovering all the horrors an intergalactic shopping mall has to offer, but while we're talking commerce, I've got an offer for anyone who's interested!

[The view swings around, showing the inside of Nick's room - and jars. Lots of them. To be specific, if anyone cares to count, fourteen gallon-size jars of translucent red fluid, in stacks of two. In Nick's defense, he's made an effort to keep them from taking up too much of his roommate's space in the room, but there's only so much he can do.]

Before anyone asks, it's melted popsicle. It's all melted popsicle, because the universe is playing a cruel joke on me, BUT that's not what should matter to you! What DOES matter is the easy availability of all this prime merchandise! So if there’s anyone out there who wants to help me get all this frozen, or who just happens to be suffering from a lack of colored sugar water, just let me know!

[He can only hope someone wants these because he sure as hell doesn’t know what to do with them.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY THE CRUEL JOKE IS SO PLENTIFUL, THOSE ARE SOME RATHER LARGE JARS OF MELTED POPSICLE.

SO. ARE YOU PLANNING ON REDISTRIBUTING?

It's a long story, but believe me, the universe knows EXACTLY what it's doing here.

Something like that. You making an offer?

WELL!

YOU SEE, MY TIME IS RATHER PRECIOUS, ME BEING A CELEBRITY AND ALL THAT.

BUT I FIND MYSELF LACKING FUN THINGS TO DO, AND SINCE MY IDEA OF FUN DOES NOT INCLUDE STEPPING OUT INTO THE, AS YOU PUT IT, INTERGALACTIC SHOPPING MALL, I THOUGHT I MIGHT GRACIOUSLY OFFER TO HELP YOU REFREEZE IT!!!

I'M SURE THE CHILDREN WILL ENJOY FROZEN TREATS! :)

[You know. Children. Of the sort to think robots were cool?

He remembers you, Nick. You were marginally more adorable as a child.]

Huh, hadn't been aware we had a celebrity onboard.

[Is he being sarcastic? Who knows.]

I certainly appreciate the offer! And I'd bet they would.

I DON'T GET UP TO THE SAME SORT OF THING AROUND HERE! IT'S NOT EXACTLY EASY, AS I'M SURE YOU'VE NOTICED

ANYWAY, ARE YOU LOOKING TO TURN A PROFIT, OR ARE YOU JUST LOOKING FOR A WAY TO GET RID OF YOUR SUGAR WATER? BECAUSE IF YOU'RE SOLELY WORKING TOWARDS PROFIT, I CAN BARTER SOME OFF YOU AND FREEZE IT ON MY OWN TIME!!

[He doesn't want to get his charity wrapped up in profit right now--maybe another time! But...right now, it's touch and go, especially when he's so busted up that his voice still skips from time to time.]

True, true. Gotta deal with the circumstances and all.

Not gonna lie, profit would be nice! But I'll admit, I'm not sure what I can ask beyond favors. Not like this place has a booming economy.

I CAN PAY YOU IN FAVORS, OR RANK PERKS!!

USUALLY, I DON'T HAVE A USE FOR MY RANK PERKS, BECAUSE THEY'RE MUCH MORE TAILORED TO BIOLOGICAL CREATURES, RATHER THAN AUTOMATONS!!! LIKE A COFFEE MACHINE?!?! OR A SHOWER?

WHAT WOULD I DO WITH THAT??

Huh, that could be a pretty good deal.

By the way, to backtrack a little - what was that about automatons?

OH?

I'M A ROBOT, SWEETIE.

ANYWAY WHATEVER I HAVE THAT YOU HAVE A USE FOR, IT'S YOURS IN FAIR TRADE!!!

I have a genius idea involving some of those jars and alcohol. How many are you willing to part with at once?

Anywhere from one to all of them, depending on how many offers I get. Helps that I like where it sounds like this idea is going.

We're going to get drunk and prank someone.

Yeah, see, that definitely sounds like a good plan to me. I'd be glad to provide supplies!

Getting drunk and pranking someone has literally never been a bad plan.

[or so he thinks]

You got anyone in mind? Cause I do, but it's your stuff. So fair's fair.

Eeh, nobody comes to mind. Haven't really made the right kind of connections yet, y'know?

[Great ways to make friends: Prank-pulling.]

Okay, well. I was thinking of Shepard, but then I realised she would probably murder us both.

So, Nihlus it is. Have you seen him? Tall guy, kind of looks like a lizard that got turned inside out?

Uh... oh, yeah, the one with the mouth? [He grimaces slightly.] You sure he couldn't murder us?

Nah, he's cool. I proposed marriage to him the other month so we're good

I mean he said no, but we're still cool.

Yeah, that's actually pretty encouraging.

[A friend who you can propose to and be rejected and have things not be weird has got to be a good one.]

So, you have anything in particular in mind?

Okay, so, I mean, obviously I want to use some of this to flavour the booze, but I'm also thinking a big bucket and a door.

Oh man, I am definitely liking the sound of this. Now, the question is, would you rather chill it first or just keep it room temperature?

Chill. It looks sticky.

You could always start a kool-aid stand.

That I could - and I might! Just figure it's best to have a few different possible plans set up, you know?

The more hustles the better, I get it. That's one weird joke though.

Well, I'd rather think of this as a fully legitimate business model, but yes. [Embracing new approaches and all that.]

It sure is. But, you know, sometimes things happen for a reason. Even if that reason is incredibly stupid.

So you're the type who wears a suit and tie.

[Or at least just a tie.]

Maybe. I used to believe a lot more in luck, good and bad. Now it's choices, what you do with the hand you're given.

Eh, if the occasion calls for it.

Sounds about right. Guess in that case, though, it's also gotta depend on what hand you're lucky enough to get to begin with.

[Is he trying to make a point or just being a shit? Who knows.]

[video]; backdated to the 14th

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sorry this took so long!!

NP!!!!!!!!

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