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[At first, it seems like there's nothing on the video. It's lower quality than the video from the MID, suggesting an outside source, and there seems to be something in the way of fog or mist onscreen. Or smoke, actually, as it gets a little darker and thicker. Occasionally it seems to take the shape of a humanoid figure, then just seems like a cloud again.

After a few moments, Liquid Snake's voice can be heard.]

Just a tip. If someone's coming towards you with smoke billowing from their orifices, run in the opposite direction and never look back. Don't try to fight them, as much as you're sure you're going to win. You can thank me later.

[Sounds like he speaks from experience. Soon enough, something materializes in the air: a clenched fist, then an arm, then part of a torso. He's trying.]

Public service announcements aside, did anyone see the Flyers at the championship? We bloody shredded the competition. Make sure to check out the highlights if you get a chance. A shame about Xoxxorx, but he did what he had to.

[Xoxxorx will have a lovely memorial.]

They've been begging me to stay for next season, but I think my sports career's done for now. Not quite sure I can handle the groupies anymore.

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You make some weird friends. I ain't met many people with smoke coming out of them.

What happened with those guys? And congratulations, I guess. Anyone begging you for jerseys or to sign their chest?

[Luckily, his arm with the MID manages to stay materialized for now, although the same can't be said for the fluctuating nature of the rest of his body.]

Friends, right. Be glad you haven't. Who knew this was the thing that'd make me take up smoking?

[Liquid, no.]

Apparently they can make changes to your very being just by making you breathe their smoke in. And they seem to appreciate athletes. And guess who got a whole bloody lungful?

But, ah. Lot of autographs, and people keep giving me gifts. They can have all the jerseys they want.

[Smoke virus? Something? He has no idea but shit keeps getting stranger and stranger.]

I guess the last part worked out for you, but ah...

Think someone will be able to fix this smokey thing?

You know, unless you want to stay like that. Doesn't seem like a great time, though.

If I can get it to work for me, it'll be damn useful. Just need to--

[The video feed cuts out for a few seconds before coming back on. This time, at least, he has a head.]

Just need to stop doing that. If I can get a hold on this, I can use it. Got me out of a few tight spots during the championship, even if it wasn't on purpose. I just need control.

Is it going to let you eat or do most normal things?

What does that feel like?

[Niko knows he encountered some changes in the Med Bay, but at least he still felt human. He wouldn't know what to do about feeling like a different... whatever that is, altogether.]

Hot, cold, dizzy, hungry?

...Does this make you Smoke Snake?

Usually it's been an all or nothing sort of thing. So when I'm, you know, normal, everything works... well, normally.

[So eloquent.]

When it happens it feels... off, which I'm sure sounds like a cop-out answer but I'm not quite sure how to describe it. It's not any of those things. Except... maybe all this fading in and out's a little dizzy. I'll probably get a better read of it after it's been more time.

[His head materializes long enough to give a judging stare.]

No. No it does not.

At least I got you to keep your head on long enough to look annoyed.

[See? Niko's a helper.]

I think Med Bay should check you out. Just in case you might make a bunch of other people smokey. And that it won't kill you. Being famous is probably not great when you might end up dead instead.

[Niko likes him enough that he doesn't wish death on him. There are more and more of those people on the ship. Liquid should feel proud.]

I'm trying my damnedest to keep it there.

[Alas, his head dissipates into smoke soon enough and he just groans.]

You know, I didn't really consider the possibility that I might be contagious. Guess I'll go see medbay, but I'm going to still keep trying to work this out. If I can use it to my advantage, then you bet I'll be using it to my advantage.

[Thanks, buddy. He might not be the best at showing appreciation, but he does appreciate it.]

[If only he knew Liquid's experience with contagions. It's not exactly great.]

What has it let you do so far?

[Well, hopefully it's not a genetically engineered bioweapon!]

When I'm all smoke I can sort of float around and go through small spaces, but I've been... overly careful with that because if I snap back into corporeality while that's happening... I doubt the result would be pleasant.

So I'm working on it.

Tried falling off something high yet?

Not like death high.

But decent high. Something you can figure out if the smokey thing will make it easier.

Not yet, but that does seem like a good way to practice.

[Lucky for Liquid, 'death high' is apparently really, really, really high. Higher than a Metal Gear.]

Nothing like a bit of danger to scare the body into working correctly, right?

It depends. Some people it just makes shit themselves.

But that might be correctly for them, so the point still stands I guess.

That sounds like normal for most people. Luckily for me, I'm not most people. This'll work out brilliantly.

[Citation needed.]

Thanks for the idea.

You need someone to come with you in case it fucks up and you need some help?

I got free time.

I don't need anyone, but... you know what, sure. I don't think I'd complain about the company. And then I get to show off.

Sure. Gotta tell me where to find you, though. This city is split into all kinds of weird shit.

I'm hanging out by the big food market. Not really much in the way of tall stuff here, and I'm not enough body to get food right now, which is annoying. But yeah, here.

[He shows the area off to the camera for a moment.]

[ There have been a fair amount of PSAs recently, and Alva - avoidant of most people as he is - appreciates it all.

This one, though? ]

All of them, or just the usual ones?

[This whole colony seems like a public service announcement waiting to happen.

The whole trip could be a public service announcement.]

Depends on whatever 'usual' ones you're thinking of.

[ Denial is a very strong and powerful illusion. ]

I've met a few people who can smoke cigarettes through the nipples. [ Is he kidding, no one knows. ] What's the smoke like?

Now that, I can't even remotely believe.

[Says the guy who is clearly having trouble keeping his body parts solid.]

Unpleasant. Not that it isn't usually. But there's no cigarettes or the like involved.

I could say the same about people steaming out of their ears, but here we are.

This isn't a common medical condition now, is it? Because this is really alarming.

Ha ha. Hilarious.

[Okay, so far so good on the arm and everything. Just have to be careful.]

No, I don't really think it is. Now, I'm no doctor, but I've never even heard of this sort of thing happening until, well, it happened.

I wasn't joking about the nipples, for the record.

[ Hmmm. ]

You know - and this is just a suggestion, you don't have to listen if you don't want to - you could get it checked at the medbay, see if we can do anything for— That. Maybe figure out what triggers it, at least?

That's. Kind of terrifying, to tell the truth.

[He still doesn't actually believe it, though.]

Yeah, I was planning on getting it checked out once things were in a little better order. If I can make this work for me, I will.

Doors are always open. Smoking nipples or otherwise.

—Don't take this as an insult, or anything like that, but if the smoke got bottled. What do you think is gonna happen to you? Is the smoke part of you?

Hopefully I'll be able to keep my nipples solidified.

The smoke isn't just part of me, it is me. So I can only imagine bottling things up would be... well, not very good, don't you think?

Fair enough, we might end up bottling your eye, or your spleen. Not sure if we have the equipment to reattach those, too.

...But how do you become you again, if you're a gaseous state? Wouldn't you, I don't know, dissipate? What if you got caught in a fan?

I don't want any part of me sitting in a jar on your desk, trust me.

Hell if I know how it works, though. I'm still trying to figure out how to work it. I seem to stay together in a sort of... cloud. Space nonsense, I suppose.

[ He's puffing a e-cigarillo as he watches this, and he can't help but think of the smoke monster already terrorizing his life. ]

Sound advice, partner. Did you take it for yourself?

No, at the time I didn't have the advice, and now I get to be the cautionary tale. Lovely, isn't it?

[His head seems to flicker in and out of existence for a moment and he makes a frustrated noise.]

So, yes, don't make the same mistakes I did.

I'll try to keep it in mind.

[ He tilts his head to one side. ]

How're you feelin'?

Good plan.

[He shrugs the one visible shoulder.]

I've been better. Mostly I feel a bit... disjointed, I suppose.

Hmm. Temporary, I'm hopin'. But, if not--I got me a real good doctor friend who could take a look at you.

I'm hoping I can actually utilize it, if I try hard enough. I'll go to medbay for a checkup, but I'm not going to try to get rid of it unless it gets worse.

uh, hi.

[Real smooth, Eggsy.]

Been meaning to see how you was doin'. And what's up with the smoke?

Been seein' your face all over the place. Congrats on winnin'.

Hey. How have you been?

I've been doing alright. A bit on the busy side, but hey. Got some things sorted out, and then all of a sudden I've got new things coming at me. The smoke's a. Side effect I guess? I'm working on making it work for me but so far it's pretty erratic.

Thanks. Can't say I expected to see myself staring back all over the place, but it's been fun.

Alright, yeah? Kinda wanted to apologize for takin' advantage of you back then. Wasn't right of me.

[He knows that they were being influenced, but Liquid was well fit and if the situation had been different and the circumstances right, he can't say he wouldn't have done that by choice.]

If somethin' happened you should let someone check you out. Maybe one of the docs on the ship.

Looks like it was fun. You're somethin' of a star now.

Who was the one on top, hm? I wanted it just as much, so don't worry about it.

[No hard feelings on his end, looks like. He's more pissed off at the people running the show.]

I'm going to get it checked out, but I don't want to get rid of it just yet. If I can use this, you bet I'm going to use it.

Yeah, that's something to really get used to, but I am not going to complain about all the gifts and everything. They can keep those coming. You have any sort of adventures? Place seems to keep the surprises coming.

[Liquid gets an eyeroll at that. Eggsy'd had a good time, no complaints, and he probably wouldn't have lasted long topping anyways.]

'S long as you're sure, yeah?

I wouldn't either, bruv. If you's got some sweet new super power, keep it. Smart thing to do, ya get me?

Not really. Kinda screwed up a bunch of shit back on the bug planet. Ruined some good relationships. Decided to keep to myself for a bit, yeah? Might go try and do somethin' though.

Absolutely sure. Sure, maybe if we were anywhere else I would've wanted to wait a bit, but hey. Such is space, apparently.

Exactly. It helped me out a bit in the championship, and it wasn't even on purpose. I can only imagine what I could do if I had full control of it.

Probably for the better to keep to yourself, but I'm sorry to hear that. Place had us all sort of fucked up, though, you'd think people would take that into account.

Yeah, would've at least bought you dinner or somethin'.

You think it's somethin' you can learn to control? Make it stronger?

I think it's mostly me, honestly. Everyone keeps sayin' it's okay but it don't feel that way. Just hard to forget all the things that happened. Don't like havin' my head messed with.

You can just owe me that for later.

I don't know, but I'm going to try. If I can't, then, well, at least I made an attempt. I'd love to be able to control it, and, well, no harm in trying.

I don't like it either, but it's not something I'm not used to. Wish I could've got a bit of revenge, but I had other things to focus on. My advice is don't forget about it, but still try to move on.

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