[audio]

[asafepairofhands]

[Only the audio clicks on, and the voice coming through the MID is worn, thin with static and carefully controlled.]

This is Chief--this is Ratchet, giving notice that the portion of the inorganic clinic I was running is currently closed until further notice, as of... now, apparently somewhere around a year from when I last checked. I'll be resuming my duties as soon as--when it's possible for me to do so.

In the meantime, I'm referring my patients to the regular medbay or to Tony Stark, depending on the complexity of the engineering involved. If it's a serious emergency... I can't help you, but I'll try to consult via MID if absolutely necessary. I am not available to answer five hundred questions about why, so don't bother asking. I need to work. Kindly refrain from calling me unless you're actively leaking to death.

...Ratchet out.


[PRIVATE TO WHIRL]
I need to speak with you in person. I'm sending you my coordinates.

Please.


[Somebody's hands finally stopped working to the point where he actually has to quit using them all the time and attach new ones, and he is not having a good day. Feel free to harass him, but there's no guarantee he'll respond.]

Comments

[asafepairofhands]

Oh--what, that?

[YEAH RATCHET. "THAT."]

I'm all right. I mean, I came back pretty much intact. Mostly it was just weird. Sorry I didn't say something earlier, but I didn't want people harassing Starscream about it when we had bigger problems--it honestly wasn't his fault.

[He thinks for a minute, sounding more himself as his brain grinds into gear to focus on something that isn't his own internal existential misery.]

I guess it should bother me more--it certainly rattled Riptide--but I don't know. I knew what was happening and why, and I was fairly sure I'd come back. I think Starscream was more frightened than I was, once I told him there was nothing he could do. I mean, it hurt, I definitely don't recommend it, but I'm all right.

[onlytwoexpressions]

I knew something was amiss when Starscream abdicated his position as ruler of Cybertron.

...Even saying that sentence aloud makes me feel like my brain is trying to turn in on itself.

I questioned him about it because, let's be honest, someone outmaneuvering Starscream is something we should be made aware of.

Imagine my surprise when I found out that Starscream was being manipulated by Starscream.

[He pauses.]

Ratchet, as I'm sure you're aware, I don't normally drink.

But I feel inclined to start when I make proclamations like that.

[asafepairofhands]

Yeah, well. [The narrowing of Ratchet's optics is practically audible.] I think both of them are going to think twice before using me as the fulcrum for a friendly spot of blackmail again. I was... displeased. Particularly when I found out they'd lost my body somehow--if they still had it, my problem would already be fixed. It's possible the ship did something with it though, I have no idea how the hell the Ingress works.

[onlytwoexpressions]

Are you saying your corpse might be lying around?

And the last two people to see it were Starscream and Starscream?

...I may have to pay them both a visit.

[asafepairofhands]

I think ours was the one who hid it, mostly because he was afraid of you stepping on him in your new armor and turning him into a grease smear on a corridor floor. I don't think he lost it on purpose but I'm pretty sure he was the last one to see it.

[onlytwoexpressions]

It's a lead. I'll take whatever I can get.

If I find something, I'll let you know as soon as possible.

[The tonal shift is so audible, it's like he's a different person. He's literally shifted into 'lawman mode.']

[asafepairofhands]

Magnus. [Ratchet's voice is deliberately gentle in contrast, if a little staticky still.] I'm not anticipating that you're going to find anything. Don't strip a gear trying, all right?

[onlytwoexpressions]

I know.

But I've got to try.

[asafepairofhands]

...I know.

[Now he just sounds tired again.]

Thank you, Magnus.

[onlytwoexpressions]

You're always welcome.