Clark, what are you talking about? You were there, you should know --
[ miles looks horrendously confused, at a loss, and then his expression flickers like a record skipping and a fresh confusion replaces that expression, all the more devastated. he feels like he's been wrung out and his stomach emptied, leaving only a gaping hold behind. it aches. he tries to chase away the phantoms that lurk at the edges of his vision. ]
We didn't leave anyone behind at Dagoola. I was in the last shuttle up. [ his voice cracks. ] It was in their air we lost them. We weren't fast enough. I wasn't fast enough. I could've caught her, if only I'd been fast enough. That frigging shuttle ramp...
[ ramp's stuck during liftoff -- jettison it. only they couldn't, couldn't get it unstuck. beatrice's voice over the roar of the engines, you'll never get it like that, kicking at the ramp again and again, until it came loose from the ship, and she with it. he still sees the three-second loop of the white blur of her face disappearing below them in his mind. water standing in his eyes, miles clenches his fists in his lap, his voice going raw with regret and futile anger. ]
I wish we could've nuked that camp from orbit. Doesn't matter that it was empty then. A place like that doesn't deserve to stay standing, not after what they did to us. [ he stares at his hands, uncurling them just enough to see the red marks left in his palm by his nails. he clenches them tight again. clark's hand on his back is the only thing keeping him upright now. ] I should've been faster.
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[ miles looks horrendously confused, at a loss, and then his expression flickers like a record skipping and a fresh confusion replaces that expression, all the more devastated. he feels like he's been wrung out and his stomach emptied, leaving only a gaping hold behind. it aches. he tries to chase away the phantoms that lurk at the edges of his vision. ]
We didn't leave anyone behind at Dagoola. I was in the last shuttle up. [ his voice cracks. ] It was in their air we lost them. We weren't fast enough. I wasn't fast enough. I could've caught her, if only I'd been fast enough. That frigging shuttle ramp...
[ ramp's stuck during liftoff -- jettison it. only they couldn't, couldn't get it unstuck. beatrice's voice over the roar of the engines, you'll never get it like that, kicking at the ramp again and again, until it came loose from the ship, and she with it. he still sees the three-second loop of the white blur of her face disappearing below them in his mind. water standing in his eyes, miles clenches his fists in his lap, his voice going raw with regret and futile anger. ]
I wish we could've nuked that camp from orbit. Doesn't matter that it was empty then. A place like that doesn't deserve to stay standing, not after what they did to us. [ he stares at his hands, uncurling them just enough to see the red marks left in his palm by his nails. he clenches them tight again. clark's hand on his back is the only thing keeping him upright now. ] I should've been faster.