Okay, so here's where I stop understanding you:

You're constantly on me about improving myself. Using my time here to become better acquainted with technology, finding a way to seal away or separate myself from Diomuhr, and just generally try and better myself.

I suggest that you go to a friend to learn how to not explode kitchens, but suddenly that hurdle is too high?

Are you maybe seeing where the standards being set are a little askew?