video;

[dreamkid]

[ The video shows a pleasantly cheerful boy, all golden curls and dimples, very comfortable in front of the camera. He's outside, a large field stretching out behind him, and he gives a friendly wave as he starts talking. ]

Hey, hey guys!

[ The camera turns, Matthew disappears, and after a split second of blurry grass and flowers, this 170lb creature appears. The dog gives a happy boof, sitting up and wagging its enormous tail, and Matthew laughs delightedly from offscreen. ]

What should I name my dog?

Comments

Video

[son_of_a_dreamer]

[Declan breathes in and then he breathes out, nice and calm. He can't tell if it's just the perspective of Matthew's camera or if that's really the size of the thing]

Are you sure that's a dog?

[dreamkid]

Yeah, isn't he great?

[ Matthew's smile is beaming through the camera at about a million watts right now. He has not noticed a downside to his dog seeming to be part lion. ]

[son_of_a_dreamer]

He's something, that's for sure.

[He's trying to resist the Matthew laugh, but it's damn hard. It's practically impossible, especially with that smile nearly bursting through the screen along with it}

He looks like a horse.

[dreamkid]

[ Pffft c'mon, Declan. ]

He's not that big.

[ From offscreen this time, another punctuating boof. The bark of a giant dog. ]

I think he'll fit on my bed.

[son_of_a_dreamer]

He looks that big from over here.

[Pfftttt, c'mon, Matthew]

In your bed? And then where exactly are you going to sleep?

[dreamkid]

He's pretty big.

[ Matthew moves over and kneels down, putting an arm around his giant dog's shoulders. Its head is bigger than Matthew's. ]

But see, not as big as a horse. He can sleep at the end of the bed, on my legs.

[son_of_a_dreamer]

Maybe if you want to wake up with no legs by morning.

[Okay, maybe that was a bit much, but Declan is trying to process how they're going to get that huge dog in the house and how much of a mess it's going to make. He's not thrilled with the idea at all. Even a small dog can tear a house apart. Couldn't it have been a fish?]

Where did you get it from?

video;

[heisenbitch]

[ The look of sheer delight on Jesse's face right now. ]

Oh, my god! He's like a tank, yo!

[dreamkid]

[ Matthew laughs like it's a joke, like the possibility of waking up with no legs is truly hilarious. But maybe he picks up a little of Declan's concern. ]

It's fine, he's good, I swear.

[ Still smiling like the sun though. ]

Ronan.

[ And that's all he says, because this is on network. ]

[son_of_a_dreamer]

[Jesus Mary, Matthew. Waking up without legs would not be a good thing]

Yeah. He's alright.

[He tries hard not to roll his eyes]

Ronan. Of course. Did it slobber on him?

video;

[dreamkid]

[ Yesssss, Jesse loves his dog. Jesse's delight serves to rocket Matthew's own excitement even higher. ]

Isn't he awesome? Watch, watch.

[ Matthew turns the camera back on "my dog" the dog, and then makes an abrupt run to a spot a few yards away. Dog immediately follows after him, with another happy boof! He looks somehow even bigger when he runs. ]

[heisenbitch]

[ Matthew's happiness is always so infectious to Jesse. The kid's excitement just makes Jesse grin even more, and he does exactly as Matthew excitedly exclaims by watching the screen. ]

Oh, my god, look at him! [ Laughing at the huge hairy galloping horse of a dog. ] Where'd you get him from?!

[dreamkid]

[ Okayyyy, fair point, but it's also not like that's actually going to happen, right? ]

He's great.

[ Ronan made him perfect. ]

I don't think he slobbers. Hey bud, do you slobber?

[ The camera shows nothing but sky for a moment as Matthew leans over and forgets he's on video. ]

Oh, yeah. He does.

[son_of_a_dreamer]

[Declan snorts, running a hand down his face]

Next time Ronan comes over I hope he gets the full effect.

[Which he supposes means the dog is coming home after all]

Not in the house, Matthew. The weather here is nice, he'll be perfectly fine outside.

[dreamkid]

[ Matthew is just about to answer when the dog reaches and jumps up on him, and because Matthew is laughing with uncontrollable joy, it actually succeeds in knocking him to the ground-- ] Oof! [ --where he continues to laugh, so no worries. The TAB falls into the grass and Matthew's hand pats around a little before he finds it and brings it back up. ]

Ronan, [ he answers, with a huge grin, short and to the point because the dog is still on top of him and he kinda can't breathe. ]

[dreamkid]

[ Matthew misses that "hand down his face" gesture because he's busy wiping dog slobber from his palm onto his shorts, but then he gets the camera back in position. ]

Aww, Declan. He won't make a mess.

[ He's not really arguing, just presenting a positive fact, and if Declan insists he will try to leave the dog outside. It's not Matthew's house, after all. ]

[son_of_a_dreamer]

[Declan wants to point out that the dog is already making a mess, and the back yard would be a perfectly logical place to keep it]

He's so big i don't think he can help it.

[dreamkid]

I'm big too, and I don't make a mess.

[ Declan is allowed to debate this point. ]

[son_of_a_dreamer]

[......]

At least you can fit through the door.

video;

[sketchycharacter]

Well, you can't call him Barkley. That's taken by my dog.

[Because that's how it works.]

'Fluffy' seems a little on the nose.

[dreamkid]

Boof can fit through the door. I think.

[ The temporarily-nicknamed Boof boofs in agreement. ]

He's just tall, really.

video;

[dreamkid]

Your dog's name is Barkley?

[ Matthew laughs, totally delighted. ]

That's a great name. [ That he isn't going to steal, no worries. Dog naming code of honor. ] Fluffy sounds more like those-- mm, what are they. The little ones that look like pom poms.

[ Pomeranians, he's thinking about pomeranians. But no one else has suggested a name yet, so Fluffy might very well be in the running. ]

[son_of_a_dreamer]

Boof? Did you decide on Boof?

[Declan figures that's a good a name as any, really. He'll probably just end up calling the dog Horse.]

We're going to build him a house in the backyard so he's not constantly running around in our house.

[He's caving, Matthew. Damn it]

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[shadowblends]

[When Kurt appears on the feed, he looks absolutely ecstatic, eyes wide and his mouth hanging open. That dog is huge and he has a mighty need to meet it as soon as possible.]

I can't believe you got a dog! [And a giant one at that.]

Popular dog names seem to be things like, "Charlie," "Buster," "Toby," and "Bear."

[dreamkid]

I don't know. That's just the sound he makes.

[ Matthew's having a good deal of trouble settling on a name, though he doesn't seem too worried about it. ]

If we do that, can I sleep in his house sometimes?